Slightly Off the Mark

Emily and I decided to get The Flash on demand--which cost less than going to the theater, although I do love action movies on the big screen. As it turns out, maybe that was for the best.

One of the complaints I've heard about The Flash was that the CGI quality was bad. I did notice it a few times, but overall it didn't take me out of the story at all. Maybe that was seeing it on the small screen, or maybe it was because I grew up at a time when special effects were limited to miniature models and animation.

The other complaint is that the star, Ezra Miller, is a violent felon. That's kind of a big deal, and if it's true they should be in prison, or possible a secure mental institution, if those exist any more. I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for that kind of person.

But from a standpoint of the movie, I don't care.

Hollywood is full of terrible people. I'll bet most entertainment projects have at least one person who others should be protected from. I'm surprised when a celebrity turns out not to have skeletons in their proverbial closet. This is becoming more obvious with each passing year.

But I like a movie or I don't, and I loved The Flash. Not only that, but Miller did a great acting job, something I didn't expect in a superhero flick. The entire plot is driven by one tragedy in Barry Allen's past, and Miller gives a performance that could bring a tear to your eye.

 Which just goes to show, having talent is only part of what a person is.

I like strong characters, great dialogue, and a nice dose of humor. The Flash also hit on something more specific: I love time travel stories, crossovers, and tales involving a multiverse, the latter being why the Oscars and I finally agreed last year.

The movie starts when Barry Allen/Flash accidentally discovers he can time travel. Despite a warning about the dangers--from Batman, no less, who explains their losses are part of who they are--Barry latches onto the idea that he can save his mother, who died when he was a kid.

He plans his actions carefully, to make the least impact on the timeline and, of course, everything goes horribly wrong. A Big Bad from a previous DC movie shows up, but Superman doesn't exist to defeat him, this time; there don't seem to be any superheroes on this Earth. Barry finds himself trying to save a world that isn't his, anymore.

Other heroes eventually emerge, of course, and one of the joys of The Flash is seeing him and his new allies interacting. (If you've watched the previews, you know who they are.) There are also numerous cameos by other heroes, something I'm sure many people hated that gave me great joy. In the context of the story it makes sense, or at least as much sense movies about costumed meta-humans ever do.

There's also an after-credits scene that throws Barry's normal world on its side, and would beg explanation--if there was to be a sequel. I think it's safe to assume the next Flash will be a different actor in a rebooted universe, so there's no use pondering that.

So yes, we loved The Flash. I think most people, if they can see around the behind-the-scenes trouble, would too. Then again, some people hate superhero movies no matter how good they are, and if any of those people have read this far, I can only ask: why?

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Remember: If you don't like movies, there are always--books. 

What isn't obvious is how the movie makers would be able to get the characters from both the original Jurassic Park trilogy, and the Jurassic World trilogy, together in a story that makes any kind of sense. But this, we're assured, is the big climax to the whole franchise, so it had to be done.

And it is done ... more or less successfully.

The first trick is to introduce all those characters (plus new ones) slowly, so we start with Owen and Claire hiding away in the backwoods, to protect the cloned girl they--let's face it--kidnapped at the end of the last movie. Lots of people want to dissect Maise (Isabella Sermon, who should have a great career ahead), perhaps literally. Unfortunately, Maise is fourteen now, and chaffing at being stuck in a cabin with two adults, even with the excitement of a velociraptor in the woods and giant herbivores hanging around the local lumber camp.

Dinosaurs have spread all over the world now, and while some humans try to protect or at least control them, others do the normal human things: Dinosaur black markets target the animals for everything from exotic meat to dogfighting-like competition. Meanwhile, a new threat has emerged in America's heartland: dino-sized locusts, which our old friend Ellie Satler is investigating. When she gets an invitation to visit the place the new threat may be coming from--an invitation from Ian Malcolm--she tracks down Alan Grant to help.

Meanwhile the bad guys finally track down and kidnap Maise, so Owen and Claire also start a journey, and--wouldn't you know it--their search leads them to the same villain's lair Ellie and Alan are headed for.

See? It took me three full paragraphs just to begin to describe the plot, and I didn't even get to some interesting new people (especially DeWanda Wise as a wisecracking pilot), and returning side characters. There's a LOT going on here, people.

That's even before all the main characters finally meet up--which really is a treat to watch. JW:D somehow manages to give each of them some time to shine, and it's great to see the youngin's interact with the old farts, to coin a phrase. There are also, naturally, some fantastic dinosaur appearances, although sometimes the movie gets a bit too busy in the action sequences (especially a duel chase scene in Malta, which made me want to hum the James Bond theme).

I usually give things like this a pass, but there were so many coincidences. People and animals kept coming from miles or continents away, and then showing up at the perfect moment to save/meet/wisecrack with someone else. I suppose they couldn't think of a better way to do it, with so many characters and animals running in so many directions--but if I noticed it, it's pretty blatant.

Just the same, it was a joy to meet our old friends again, and the Jurassic World cast did a fine job ... after all, the failings of the last two movies weren't their fault. There was even a surprise or two, toward the end, and enough shout outs to the original movies to satisfy or disgust everyone.

Is this the end of the Jurassic franchise? Everyone involved seemed to think so, but I wouldn't bet on it.

My Score:

Entertainment Value: 4 1/2 out of 5 M&Ms. The movie came close to going out of control a few times, but it was still fun.

Oscar Potential: 1 out of 5 M&Ms. It's a summer popcorn movie: Enjoy it as that.

I like my Batman about halfway between the camp of the TV show and the relentless pain and drama of the most recent movies: My favorite was the 1989 version. It's probably no coincidence that the first Michael Keaton Batman movie also gave us my favorite Joker, in Jack Nicholson. But that's all a matter of taste, of course.

In this version Batman is just two years into his crime fighting career, and already questioning whether he's doing any good in a crime-ridden Gotham City. Most of the police hate him (with the exception of Detective Jim Gordon, well played by Jeffrey Wright). His seemingly only employee, Alfred, warns of the Wayne fortune's impending collapse, and now a serial killer is sending the Batman notes with strange riddles along with the bodies.

One of Batman's nicknames is "The World's Greatest Detective", a part of his persona often ignored in screen versions. But this movie is more a detective story (and psychological thriller) than a superhero flick, and we get to see Batman using his powers of observation and detective skills as much as his fighting abilities and cool devices. He allies with Gordon and the enigmatic Selena Kyle (Zoe Kravitz) to find answers he might end up not wanting to know.

It slows the movie down compared to most superhero moves. In fact, Batman often resembles more of a mix of James Bond and Sherlock Holmes, as he follows clues and questions suspects.

I'm not a fan of making superhero movies more "realistic" ... they're superhero movies. In particular I'd like the villains to be at least a little bit more like the originals, although you can't fault the casting (including Colin Farrell, John Turturro, and Paul Dano.) Many were surprised at how good Robert Pattinson is as Batman, but not me--I remember the same criticism of comedy actor Michael Keaton, who's still one of my favorites to play the role. As Bruce Wayne, not so much--Pattinson plays him as a single minded and perpetually downbeat mess--although, to be fair, that's exactly what the character would be like at this point in his life.

So there it is: I found The Batman too bleak and grounded for my taste, and yet it's a brilliant film, evidence that "comic book movies" have grown up. I hear there might be a TV series spinoff from this movie, and yes: I'd watch it.

Make sure you wear an adult diaper, though--a lot gets packed into a bladder-filling three hours.

My Score:

Entertainment value: 3 1/2 M&Ms out of four. From the fights and chases to the characters and Gotham City itself, it's a treat--although it's dark both figuratively and literally.

Oscar Potential: 3 M&Ms. It should be four out of four--The Batman is full of Oscar level work.

 Okay, let's get this out of the way right now: "The Suicide Squad" is not--I repeat, NOT--a movie for kids.

Most movies based on comics try to entertain adults while also being watchable by their kids. (If you're one of the snobbish who automatically label these flicks "kid movies", you came to the wrong place.)

Not this one. We're talking about a sex scene, a moment of graphic nudity, and an overwhelming amount of graphic, graphic violence. I knew this going in, and it's nothing worse than I see on the various "Walking Dead" shows, but it still startled me. Maybe it's because I watch "Walking Dead" for the characters, and could happily do without the worst of the onscreen gore.

Okay, so that's out of the way. "The Suicide Squad" is a great movie, and if you can handle the gore I'd highly recommend it. Unless you're a movie snob.

We open with a team headed to a small island country, where they're dropped near the beach and things go immediately sideways. Then we got back in time, to see another team recruited at the same time, for the same mission: To destroy a top secret science project that's now in the hands of the island's new dictator.

Things go sideways for them, too, as happens on suicide missions. The survivors must face down the island's military to accomplish their job--which turns out to be something more than what they were told.

"The Suicide Squad" has, yes, those great effects and action, but if you're going to like the movie, it's for the characters. Here Idris Elba as reluctant leader Bloodsport, and Margot Robbie as the sanity-averse Harley Quinn, excel. Beyond that the heart of the movie comes from Daniela Melchior as Ratcatcher 2 (guess what her super power is?), and David Dastmalchian as--wait for it--Pokda-Dot Man. Both have their backstories explored enough to be sympathetic characters.

The Suicide Squads are made up of real DC Comics characters, but the third rate ones--the ones Robin could take down without Batman's help. As such, almost any of them could be killed off at any moment, and many are, so once we're invested we end up on the edge of our seats. It's to the credit of everyone involved that we're left caring about, and rooting for, our "heroes". (By the way, the Big Bad in this movie was, in the comics, the Justice League's first villain.)

My score:

Entertainment value: 3 1/2 out of 4 stars. I had trouble getting past some of the more graphic violence, of which there was much, but as movies based on comic books go this was one of the better ones. And graphic or not, I can watch Harley Quinn's fighting moves all day long.

Oscar Potential: 2 out of 4 stars. I don't know ... maybe. The Academy does seem to like violent flicks, after all, and shouldn't there be an Oscar for fight choreography? But I doubt it will get a "Joker" level of critical acclaim.

(By the way, this was our first trip back to an indoor theater in two years ... we went at noon, and there were only two other people in the theater. This is one of those movies better appreciated on the big screen.)

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 Finally, Black Widow gets her own movie! At least she beat Hawkeye.

Considering what happened in the last Avengers movie, "Black Widow" just about has to be a prequel. (You crazy kids and your two year old spoilers.) Sure enough, we open with a very young Natasha Romanov, living a quiet life in Ohio with her parents and cute little sister, Yelena.

But it's not that kind of a movie.

Natasha is torn from her family and sent to the Red Room, where she grows up to look just like Scarlett Johansson and becomes a Black Widow--Russian spy and assassin who somehow keeps her mid-American accent.

Fast forward to the events of Captain America: Civil War, which you don't really have to watch to see this, but why wouldn't you? Natasha finds herself on the losing end of an Avenger vs. Avenger slamfest, and with almost all her comrades imprisoned, she finds herself on the run. But that's okay: She has a lot of experience being on the wrong side of the law. Natasha finds a self-sufficient house trailer in the middle of nowhere and settles down to watch James Bond movies while the outside world cools down. (The particular movie she watches foreshadows a reveal later on.)

But it's not that kind of movie, either.

 Natasha is drawn back into the spy world again, trying to infiltrate the Red Room and rescue her sister black widows--including her sister (played with style by Florence Pugh, who I will lay money on being the next black widow to become, well, the next Black Widow.) Along the way she and her sister have a family reunion that's to die for, and also to kill for, because it's that kind of a movie.

Because "Black Widow" is set mostly in 2016, when other things were going on in the Marvel universe, the movie can't make use of the usual MCU supporting characters. That's a good thing, because it allows development not only of the character, but also her own cast of great supporting characters. Also, we finally get to find out what happened in Budapest, and the throwaway line from the first Avengers movie becomes a major plot point.

I get a little CGI weary sometimes, but "Black Widow" makes good use of modern effects, and the fight scenes are spectacular. At the same time--and in no small part because of acting skill--we get a real feel for what Natasha and her family go through as they fight to make peace with their past. The only real complaint is that we won't see Johansson in the role again, but on the bright side "Black Widow" serves as an origin story for her sister Yelena, who apparently will be an anti-hero in the upcoming Hawkeye series.

(By the way: If you're any kind of a fan, you'll quite definitely want to stick around for the post-credits scene.)

In the end, "Black Widow" is not so much a superhero movie as an amped up spy thriller with a surprising amount of heart, and unsurprising amount of action.

My score:

Entertainment value: 5 out of 5 M&Ms. The good milk chocolate.

Oscar potential: 3 out of 5 M&Ms. Maybe in the effects related categories. There's some quality acting going on here from several cast members, but the Academy is still prejudiced against SF/fantasy movies. That's especially sad with "Black Widow", which features two Oscar winners and, in its main roles, two Oscar nominees.

Decades ago, slackers Bill and Ted learned that they would someday be loved worldwide, and that they would write a Song that would bring the world together.

Backed by that knowledge, they formed a band that became insanely popular ... but as time went on the Song didn't come, and as Bill and Ted Face the Music opens, they're slacker dads reduced to playing at nursing homes and open mic nights.

Which, naturally, sets the entire universe to unraveling.

So Bill and Ted try to solve the problem the easy way. Experienced time travelers, they'll simply travel to the future, and take the already written Song from the future Bill and Ted. Excellent! Meanwhile their daughters, Thea and Billie, take matters into their own hands by traveling to the past, to collect famous musicians into a backup band for their fathers.

Bill and Ted Face the Music is exactly what we need in these times--pure fun. If you hate time travel stories, or if you're one of those purists who questions every aspect of time travel cause and effects, I can't help you. Otherwise, just relax and have fun as Bill and Ted try to save the universe and their marriages. The further into the future they go, the more outlandish their future selves are. Meanwhile, the daughter of their original helper, Rufus (George Carlin naturally gets a shout-out), and a murder robot sent to institute Plan B--killing Bill and Ted (again)--are playing catch up.

The only problem I had with the long time between movies is that occasionally Keanu Reeves just looked too old to be this character again. It's not his fault--in fact, Reeves and Alex Winter race through the movie with the same innocent, zany energy of their first appearance. I think it was the lack of a beard, and long hair that, as my wife put it, actually made him resemble Harry Potter's Severus Snape. Believe me, it didn't prevent me from enjoying the movie.

A special shout-out to Anthony Carrigan, who plays the robot--its actual name is Dennis Caleb McCoy, he points out. It's an hysterical performance that just gets funnier as it goes on. We also get another great mix of historical figures, this time all music related. Oh, and Death. It wouldn't be the same without William Sadler showing up.

My favorite new characters were Bill and Ted's daughters: Thea and Billie basically take on the same job their fathers did in the original Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. They're just like their fathers, and they even take on some of the same mannerisms as the older pair. I wouldn't at all mind seeing a sequel headlining the two women--or even a series.

 My score:

Entertainment Value: 4 out of 4 M&Ms. The ending was a bit abrupt, but otherwise it was plenty of fun.

Oscar Potential: 2 out of 4 M&Ms. Movies aren't easy to make, but everyone makes this one look like a gathering of friends just having a good time. The Academy hates happiness.

"After surviving a near fatal bovine attack, a disfigured cafeteria chef (Wade Wilson) struggles to fulfill his dream of becoming Mayberry's hottest bartender while also learning to cope with his lost sense of taste." -- Twentieth Century Fox

And there you have it. And, just in case you don't already know you're diving into a comic book movie turned surreal and sideways, in the opening scene the main character complains about the main character of an entirely different comic book movie stealing the idea of the original Deadpool's R rating. While showing a model of a dramatic scene from the other movie.

Deadpool: Tell me they got that in slow-motion...

At the opening of Deadpool 2 our hero (Ryan Reynolds) has everything: A loving girlfriend, a  successful life as a freelance crime fighter/assassin/wiseguy, and the ability to heal from the most severe of injuries. Obviously he'll fall hard, and in short order superhero Colossus rescues him from the debris of his life (literally and figuratively) and tries to make Deadpool an X-Men trainee.

It doesn't work. What pulls Deadpool out of his funk is a foul-mouthed teenage mutant hunted by the time traveling killer Cable (played by Josh Brolin, who was also Avengers villain Thanos.) To protect the flame-throwing kid from Cable, Deadpool assembles his own team of superheroes, who he nicknames X-Force.

Cable: Who are you? Deadpool: I'm Batman.

It's all very regular superhero-ish. Or it would be, except this is the Deadpool word, where everything goes sideways with hilarious results. To some extent the Deadpool films can be compared to Mel Brooks movies: crude, politically incorrect, and always winking at the audience--sometimes literally. No one-liner is out of bounds, no sight gag too vulgar, no convention above being poked fun at. At one point I quite literally fell out of my chair.

Oddly enough, there were also a few scenes that hit you in the feels, which may be the most unexpected thing about Deadpool 2. There's an actual story there, with personal tragedy on more than one side, and once or twice it's even treated seriously. Not by Deadpool himself, of course. There are also huge chunks of graphic violence, again sometimes literally chunks, cursing, and general hard R-ratedness of the type that would have brought an X when I was a kid. It's not for the little ones.

The new breakout character could be Zazie Beetz's Domino, whose mutant superpower is ... luck. This leads to a funny sequence in which Deadpool insists luck is neither a power nor cinematic, while Domino proves him very wrong on both parts. I also liked the introduction of Yukio (Shioli Kutsuna), who's relentlessly friendly and cheerful, but also more than she seems.

Deadpool: Luck isn't a superpower. And it isn't cinematic! Domino: Yes, it is. Deadpool: I'm gonna meet you in the middle and say no.

My rating:

Entertainment value: 4 M&Ms, the good green ones. This kind of funny is not for everyone, for sure--but it made me giggle helplessly and roll around in my chair.

Oscar Potential: 1 M&M. Yeah, the Academy isn't going to touch this one.

            Years ago I did a review of movies just out on video, which I called “Amateur Armchair Review” because … why not? I stopped because the paper apparently no longer needed the filler, but you really miss me, don’t you? Go on, say it …

            Fine. I’m back anyway, because doing a regular review of new movies gives me an excuse to go see new movies. I’m starting late with “Godzilla”, the reboot of my favorite childhood monster movies. Instead of bad dubbing and a guy in a rubber suit we get spectacular effects and excellent production values, but I liked it anyway.

            Unlike the last American attempt at the franchise, which I didn’t hate but also didn’t like much, this version has the feel of a Japanese monster movie. That’s a compliment, by the way. The biggest criticism I’ve seen is that the main character just kind of floats through, letting things happen to him. That’s true. At least, it’s true for the main human character.

            Aaron Taylor-Johnson is Ford Brody, who reluctantly heads to Japan to bail out his obsessed dad, Joe (Bryan Cranston … why do they never give acting Oscars for monster movies?) Joe is obsessing over a nuclear accident that killed his wife years ago, and it turns out Joe is right that the whole thing is a cover-up … there’s a monster in them-there ruins.

            But the monster is not Godzilla, who at 60 was probably convalescing at the Old Monster’s Home. It’s a MUTO (don’t ask), a giant monster that happens to wake up just when our heroes break into the place. What are the chances?

            Things go south very quickly and soon Godzilla is chasing the MUTO, because he’s apparently employed by Mother Nature to bring balance back to the Force, or maybe I’m mixing up my franchises. Luckily Brody’s wife, played by Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen’s less scary sister Elizabeth, is safe with their son all the way across the Pacific, in San Francisco. The monsters will never end up there. Will they?

            This is not the perfect monster movie, mostly because I’m not getting a cut. It’s true Ford Brody tends to go along with whatever challenge tends to pop up in front of him—and he certainly isn’t as much fun as the 1998 “Godzilla” character played by Matthew Broderick, who along with a great cast was trapped in a movie with no heart. (Could that be related to movie maker Roland Emmerich saying he didn’t like the original Godzilla movies? That’s who you want making one.)

            Although Brody manages to save the day in the end—somebody’s day—sort of—I suspect his bouncing around was on purpose. Yes, he’s just trying to get back to his family, and later protect them, but his and all human activity is a subplot. (And sometimes not an interesting subplot.)

This isn’t about humanity, which to the monsters is no more important than ants on the ground being trampled during a fist fight. This is very much about humanity’s helplessness in the face of forces of nature that care not a bit what people do. It’s a dark film, very much a disaster movie, with absolutely mind-blowing special effects. But it brings back the spirit of the original films, in a way that’s hard to explain.

            And yeah, for all the destruction, it’s fun. Don’t judge me.

            My score, going back to my old review days:

            Oscar potential: 3 ½ out of 4 M&M’s, if only for special effects, or the score.

            Entertainment value: 4 out of 4 M&M’s. The good green ones.