A small town needs certain things to stay alive. A post office; a gas station; apparently a dollar store, considering they're springing up like Marvel movies. The one strange guy who walks around at night talking/singing to himself. One or two people who loudly complain about everything.

And a grocery store. My home town of Albion lost its grocery store, which isn't a huge deal compared to bigger problems, like the constant threat of the reality TV. Still, ghost towns across the country attest to what happens when a community's base disappears.

Most of us didn't know until after the store closed that the family that ran it for forty-some years were not the same people who owned the building. I didn't, even though I worked there when they took over from the former business owner.

 

I'm the cute one. Okay--I'm the one in the center.
 

 

Rumors ran rampant about what would happen to the former grocery store building. It was originally built by Vikings who wandered into the area around 1021 AD, so many thought the owners might tear it down, replacing it with, say, an airport. The site's right next to the railroad tracks, so no one would even notice the extra noise.

One rumor was that it would become one of those Dollar General Markets, a mini-grocery store where you could also buy everything from clothes to dolls to doll clothes. But there are already two dollar stores in town, built directly beside each other because that makes sense. Granted, they're on the other side of town from the old grocery store, but there's not that much town.

And then: Construction crews moved in and started overhauling the old building, top to bottom.

 

 

It's being done by Amish workers, the best builders in this part of the galactic arm. If you gave them a blueprint they could build a starship, even if their faith prevented them from piloting it.

So what will the new building be?

Nobody knows.

Oh, there are rumors, but for some reason no one involved is willing to tell. It's their choice, of course: It's private property. Still, it's quite the mystery: If you were going to open a business, wouldn't you want people to know what it will be? It's just ... strange.

So I declared on social media that it was going to be a Galactic Empire shooting range. Those storm troopers, they really need the practice. 

 

Maybe if they tried to, I don't know, aim.

 

 I quickly realized this is exactly why the new occupancy is so secret: Because it's secret. So I came up with some possibilities. If you know but can't say, blink your left eye three times.

* Nuclear waste transfer depot. This is where the waste is transferred from truck to train. I mean, the tracks are right there. We might not like the idea now, but I'm sure in no time we'll all be just glowing.

Vice-Presidential Museum. Indiana has produced the second largest number of  U.S. Vice Presidents. Only New York has more, and they've been around for three decades longer. Part of S.R. 9, which runs through Albion, is officially The Highway of the Vice Presidents, as it connects some of their former homes. We're Number Two! 

* Big box store in a little box. Groceries upstairs, clothes in the basement, everything else on the roof. If you catch someone trying to shoplift a power tool, just shove them over the side. This one needs thought: I'll workshop it. 

Experimental indoor farm.  Many towns don't allow farm animals because of the noise, and the smell. If the workers install soundproofing and a filtering system, we may be looking at the future of agriculture. Worried about cows contributing to climate change? No problem: Now all the animal farts are captured, and used to power the indoor field sunlamps.

You know, that started as a joke, but I think I might be on to something.

* CIA regional office. That explains everything. I mean, everything except why it would be in Albion. All I know is, ever since I started writing this there's been a black SUV with tinted windows parked across the street.

Secret archeology site. Who knows what's under the ground there? A mastodon? Prehistoric giant skeletons? Godzilla's smaller cousin, Joezilla? There's a reason why Dr. Jones goes by "Indiana".

And finally:

Nuclear missile silo. Look on the bright side: If WWIII breaks out, we'll be the first to know.

 

I still like our little town.

 

 

Our books, many of them about small town life, area here: 

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf



Remember: Even small town book writers need big city support.

 

 

 Is it just me, or has Mother Nature been, this year ... grouchy?

Surly? Cross? Cantankerous?

Yeah, I thought so, too. Maybe we brought it on ourselves, the way everyone has been storming at each other. That makes this a perfect time for a ... song.

Hey, we all need a peaceful moment. It's been a particularly awful weather year; for some more than others, but mostly for everyone. The other day I had to stop picking up wind-blown branches because of frostbite. (I shut off our furnace exactly two days before the--wait for it--polar vortex reached us.)

It's not a great song, but I'm not a great song writer. I heard the music in my head while writing the words (It has a country vibe). But I can't play it for you because I can't write music, and it probably won't work as well as a poem. Maybe it's for the best, though, because I'm also not a great music writer. Or ... any music writer. What the heck, I'll throw in a few photos from the storm outbreak, too. Once it got cold, my hands wouldn't stop shaking enough to get a good picture.

See those little black spots in the sky? Birds. Really dumb vultures, I think, battling a headwind.



I should hold a contest: If I sell fifty books by the end of June, I'll post a video of me singing this. But that might lead to negative sales. "For Heaven's sake, don't sing! I'm sending your books back to you."

I call it: Springing Out of Springdom.

(I'm not a great title writer, either.)





I like to ride in the countryside
just to take in spring.
The flower blossoms, birds at play
and all the greening things.

But this year I've come to realize
something that's made me sad.
We won't get a spring this year
'cause we've all been too bad.

Yeah, we've all been too bad this year,
we just can't get along.
We fight and fuss and disagree
Even as the days get long.

Mother Nature said "Screw you!"
"I'll just evaporate."
So winter just won't end this year;
she left us to our fate.

So now the temp's below average
just like all our moods.
Plants are brown and grass is dead,
let's face it--we're all screwed.

Our tulips won't come up this year,
They're underneath a drift.
The robins are hitchhiking south,
their frozen wings won't lift.




Yes, we've all been too bad this year,
we don't deserve the spring.
Mosquitoes can't come out in this,
it's frostbite that'll sting.

Mother Nature said "Stuff it!"
and left us all to freeze.
so winter just won't end this year,
no flowers, birds, or bees.

So let's all try to get along,
we just don't have to fight.
At this rate our nice summer
will become a year long night.

It's not that we all must be friends,
but hatred hurts our souls.
If we don't make up by Christmas
At least we can heat with coals.

True, we've all been too bad this year,
and spring will never come
if we don't get our butts in gear
and stop being so dumb.

Mother nature said "I'm done!"
and winter's staying strong.
So dig back out your salt and plows ...
or try to get along.







As long as the internet hasn't blown away, we can be found all over:

 

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 

 

Remember: Books can be taken with you into a storm shelter.


ozma914: (Default)
( Apr. 3rd, 2025 04:04 am)
 I was eleven, and home alone while my brother visited with the neighbors. I didn't mind at all: I was what today would be called an introvert. I had my plastic Thompson machine gun and my khaki shirt with the sergeant stripes on it, and I was ready to shoot bad guys.

I was busy killing Nazis when everything became perfectly still. Not a bird chirp, not a breath of wind. The light around me turned a strange green. Kind of like the olive-colored kitchen appliances that used to be so popular, and please don't build those again.

Everything seemed to almost glow from within. It was enough to make me forget Sgt. Rock and just stand there, gazing upward.

And that was it. The light turned normal again, and I headed into the barn to back up The Haunted Tank. We lived out in the country where we couldn't hear sirens, the TV was turned off, and portable alert devices were things I saw on Star Trek.

It was part of the 1974 Super Outbreak, one of the worst tornado outbreaks in history. 148 tornadoes rampaged across 13 states, killing 330 people. The one that came so close to me was an EF3, and it killed three people, injuring 38 more.

Somehow, I didn't find out until years later that a tornado has passed two miles from where I stood. 

The March 30 storm damaged the roofs of two Noble County Highway buildings, less than a mile from our home.


Maybe not knowing is why I became fascinated with the sky, but never developed a fear of storms. I'm one of those morons who would be out in the back yard, scanning the sky, while sane folks huddled in the basement.

Being a volunteer firefighter and storm spotter gave me an excuse, but didn't make me any smarter.

 


What hit us in Albion this time was a straight-line wind event. The only confirmed tornado in Noble County on June 30 was an EF-1 that took out several buildings on a path north of Churubusco, and west of LaOtto. Its path is the green line on this map. Straight line winds can be just as damaging, of course, but don't get the press of a photogenic twister.

 

Either way, having the tornado sirens go off while you're standing in the shower is definitely attention grabbing.

I dressed in the basement, and the worst of it seemed to be over when I dashed through the rain to work. But it wasn't, for me: I work in the Noble County 911 center. There are normally two or three of us there. I arrived half an hour early and found one of my shift partners already there. Including a trainee, there were five of us, then six, and we were overwhelmed.

Our power went out twice; our radio system stopped working once; our business phone lines stayed down all night, leaving us with one backup cell phone. (Honestly, we used our own a lot.) Meanwhile, every fire department and every on-duty officer in the county raced from place to place, checking on damage and downed utility lines, clearing trees, and keeping their eyes on the skies. Between 4:40 and 8 p.m. we entered 76 calls, almost all for storm damage.

No injuries. The very definition of it could be worse.

I actually took this a few days earlier, but you get the idea.


In bordering LaGrange County the storm flipped an Amish buggy, killing one man. Meanwhile, not far to the north, an ice storm flattened northern lower Michigan. On the other end of the storm system ... a blizzard.

As I write this, we've just had still another tornado warning, thankfully short lived, and a tornado outbreak to the south and west of us ... and east, now that I've had time to check the weather channels.

I told someone over winter that I had a feeling this would be a bad weather year. Wish I remembered who, so I could say I told you so. But I'd rather be wrong.

This is another photo I took a few days earlier, right after a thunderstorm. I like this better.



You can read our books here:

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf



Lately it's been much better to stay inside and read.


  Okay, so, let's say--hypothetically--that I was getting ready to work on a sequel to Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest, Without Moving at All.


If you've read Hoosier Hysterical ("and why not?" he said sternly), you know it's a humor book about Indiana history and trivia. People seem to like it, but my first though on a sequel was, "What do I do next?" I covered history. I covered a lot of trivia, too, although not all by any means.

So eventually the idea I came up with was a book about two things: The people who came here and/or started here and made their fame elsewhere, and the special little places that make the Hoosier State so ... weird.

You can bet Emily and I are going to visit the Uranus Fudge Factory in Richmond, for instance. I predict the puns will hit the fan.



So here's what I need from you. I mean, other than book reviews, word of mouth, and sales. I need you to tell me what little, out of the way attraction and/or person of note you'd like us to cover in our book, which I called Hoosier Hysterical-er until Emily told me no.

I can't guarantee we'll fit them all in, and I can't guarantee we'll be able to visit all of them, but we'll surely try. (If we end up with enough material, it might be divided into two books.) We'll also try not to repeat ourselves, so if we already covered something in detail in the first book, it's not likely to show up in the second.

So what do you want to hear about? The world's largest ball of paint? Orville Redenbacher? Orville Wright, and/or his brother? Elvis' hair? There's more than corn in Indiana.

Although there's corn, too. Just ask Orville Redenbacher.



Almost all of our books are related to Indiana, and you can find them here:

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
·        Barnes & Noble:  
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"
·        Goodreads:  
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter
·        Blog: 
https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
·        Website: 
http://www.markrhunter.com/
·        Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
·        Facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
·        Linkedin: 
https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
·        Twitter: 
https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
·        Youtube: 
https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
·        Substack:  
https://substack.com/@markrhunter
·        Tumblr:  
https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
·        Smashwords:  
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914
·        Audible:  
https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf


 

Remember: Books about Indiana are as sweet as sugar cream pie, but without the calories. Unless you eat them. Don't eat them.

 

 I know it may seem like I already posted a version of this a few years ago, but ... maybe it just blew by again.

severe weather cow.webp
Cow.




            I complain about winter weather a lot, so maybe it's time to complain about something else:
 
            Spring weather.
 
            Yes, spring arrived, kind of, at least temporarily. We had snow over the weekend, grass fires today, and the promise of thunderstorms in Indiana this week. The weather people are talking about a bomb cyclone west of us that could drop the barometric pressure so low it equals a category 2 hurricane. Right now that same area is under a red flag fire warning.
 
            Also, notice the winter storm warnings in California.
 
            In a Hoosier spring we often have a traditional ice storm during basketball playoffs. It's actually possible to have an ice/fire tornado, if the conditions are right. I mean, wrong.
 
            So it comes as no surprise that the Governor was delayed by snow drifts on his way to declare March 9 through 15 Severe Weather Preparedness Week. I’d have done it myself if security hadn’t kicked me out of his office.
 
            As part of the celebration … er … observation, the State of Indiana educates, conducts alert system tests, and otherwise tries to keep people from getting killed. Honestly, nothing brings down a wonderful spring day like death.
 
 
Severe weather evening.jpg
 
            I thought I'd help out despite the Governor's restraining order, so let me explain what watch and warning levels and storm terms are:
 
            A Watch means you can stay at your cookout, gaze at the blue sky and make fun of the weatherman right up until the first wind gust blows away your “kiss the cook” hat.
 
            A Warning means that if you haven’t sought shelter, you will die.
 
            A Funnel Cloud should not be mistaken for a funnel cake, which generally kills only one person at a time. Funnel clouds are just tornadoes that haven’t touched the ground; maybe they will, maybe they won’t. If you want to gamble, go to Vegas. Just to make it more fun, sometimes tornadoes reach the ground and start tearing things up even though the bottom part is still invisible. You could be looking at a “funnel cloud” right up until the moment your mobile home changes zip codes.
 
Severe weather funnel cloud.jpg
A funnel cloud in Dekalb County, Indiana. No, I wasn't going to get any closer.

 
 
            A Tornado is really, really bad.
 
            Straight Line Winds can cause as much damage as tornadoes, but aren’t associated with rotation. You can often tell the damage path of these winds by the people standing in the debris, insisting it was a tornado.
 
            A Squall Line is what happens when I forget my wedding anniversary.
 
            Thunderstorms are storms that produce thunder. See what I did, there?
 
            Lighting kills more people than tornadoes, but of course tornadoes are more fun … um … attention grabbing. Tornadoes are like people (okay, men) who get drunk and try to jump motorcycles over sheds using homemade ramps: They’re senseless, spectacular, injury rates are high, and nothing good results except to remind people they’re bad.
 
            Just the same, lightning is also no fun, and can strike miles from where you think the storm is. Of people struck by lightning, 70% suffered serious long-term effects, 10% are permanently killed, and 20% don’t admit being hurt, or didn’t hear the question.
 
            The average forward speed of a tornado is 30 mph, but they can travel up to 70 mph … or remain motionless, which is really unfortunate if you happen to be under one at the time.
 
            The average width of the funnel on the ground is about 100 yards. And, like a flatulent Godzilla, that doesn’t include the wind damage around it. Some can get over a mile wide. (Tornadoes, I mean, not gassy Godzillas.) If you think about it, trying to outrun a 70 mph, mile wide tornado in a car is about as smart as trying to jump a shed from a homemade ramp after your tenth beer.
 
            Tornadoes are most likely from April to June, which means pretty much nothing these days. The last time I took an airplane flight it was delayed by a tornado—in November.
 
So, when do you need to prepare for severe weather? Anytime. Remember, no matter what the season, it only takes a few beers to start building a ramp.
 
 
 
 
Severe weather morning.jpg
 

 
You can read our storm related books, and the other ones, here:


·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"
·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter
·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter
·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914
·        Audible:  https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 
Remember, every time you buy a book, Godzilla rolls over and goes back to sleep. Save Tokyo.
 

 Just a photo blog today. After we got my glasses repaired a few weeks ago (long story), we headed down to the Salamonie reservoir near Huntington, where we proceeded to drive around aimlessly for awhile. Well, not completely aimless--we were looking for bald eagles.

When I was a kid, a bald eagle was something you'd just heard of, and maybe seen on TV. But this time of year the Salamonie area is now teaming with them, if you're willing to go out into the cold to see. We were willing ... reluctantly.

We weren't sure exactly where they were being seen, until we stopped at an overlook near the top of the dam. Were those folks down there hauling around huge cameras for some mystical reason?

 Yes. Yes, they were, and way better cameras than we had. But never mind that: There are lots of photos of bald eagles at Salamonie--we had binoculars too, and just wanted to see them for ourselves.

The place you want to go is where there's open water, because an eagle's gotta eat. Of course, a lot of water in the area was frozen, even waterfalls. Indiana's larges icicle. That brought us to the other side of the dam and the Salamonie River.


"Hey, Mark--what's that directly over your head?"


We walked past three ice fishermen who were ingesting some pretty good antifreeze, and I ventured over some frozen sandbars and ice to get a shot of this fellow, who couldn't care less. It was only when we came back that one of the fishermen pointed out there was another eagle directly across the river from them, no hazardous travel involved.

I think this is the best shot we got of any of them. We saw at least five bald eagles, one of them a juvenile who flew directly over our heads. Maybe more, or maybe we saw the same ones more than once as we tromped around the area.

It was a great day despite the weather. We didn't worry too much about disturbing the birds, because the three fishermen were being pretty vocal, and the bald eagle closest to them just didn't care. Maybe if they actually caught something he'd be more interested.

And finally, because we do like a little adventure, everywhere we went we encountered these signs:

 

We were right below the dam, after all. Luckily, no siren sounded. If one had, it would have been when I as inching my way across the ice, trying to get a clear shot of that waterfall. I'd imagine I would have looked hilarious, slipping and scrambling my way back, but those things are only funny if they aren't followed up by the words, "And they never found his body".


 

The eagle-eyed can find our books here:

 

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible:  https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 

Remember: A good book can make your mind soar.



It can be nice to sit in our house and let the summer breeze blow past. Or, to get even more breeze, we could open the windows.

My house leaks like a Washington insider. Over the years we’ve stuffed cracks and other openings with anything we could find: towels, sandbags, small cars, door to door salesmen, whatever. A nice breeze isn’t what you want come November.

We don’t know exactly how old the place is, but Fred Markey carved the date 1879 into a garage wall. Is that when he was born? When he built the house? Or when he got cabin fever and went crazy with a knife?

(Note: I've learned he was 16 years old at the time. Who wasn't doing a little mischief at 16?)

The walls once held blown in insulation, but over time it settled, or possibly got carried off by mice. Now we have the annual, depressing, tradition called “winterizing”.

Okay, well, not so bad so far.


Winterizing reminds me that winter’s coming. Winter comes every year, usually in the fall. It’s like it’s seasonal, or something.

Hm … maybe that 1879 carving commemorated the winter they found Fred Markey frozen to the outhouse seat. It would be embarrassing to be frozen to indoor plumbing, so we winterize, starting with storm windows. Traditionally they’re installed just before an unusual warm front comes through, forcing you to decide whether to take them back down to let warm air in, or just curse the fates.

I also put plastic up on the inside of the windows. You put double sided tape around each window, then place the plastic on it, then curse and flounder as the tape falls off. Then you put the plastic on again and use a hair drier, which tightens it up so wrinkles don’t show. NOTE: This does not work on skin.

You can also use spray foam insulation and caulk, to seal cracks. The main purpose of these substances is to form permanent crusts on clothing. They’re also fairly effective at removing skin.

At some point, the furnace has to be started for the season. This is always a time of great interest in my house: I’m interested to know if it will start. I have hot water radiators, and the water is heated by a boiler. Me waving a match over a pilot light to start a boiler is akin to Wiley Coyote opening the latest package from Acme Co. You know something is going to happen; you just don’t know if the result will be ashes and singed hair, or a flattened body against the wall.

 

 

 

But I seriously considered doing none of that this year.

It's because of putting on the air conditioner cover. Not on myself. The polyvinyl cover has a couple of elastic strings attached to it. The instructions say to wrap the strings around the cover, hook them over the air conditioner, and voila—instant winterization.

Until the first time the wind blows.

Then you need duct tape. Rolls and rolls of duct tape.

This year I put the cover over the air conditioner, then waved for a truck to back in. I’d ordered a dump truck load of duct tape. They dumped it right into my driveway, and other than the dozen or so rolls that rolled down the hill out back (should have seen that coming), I was set.

I taped the cover to the conditioner. I taped the cover to the window. I taped the cover to the wall, the conditioner to the window, the wall to the conditioner, and I finished by taping the tape to the tape. There was now no sign of the green plastic cover. I might as well have skipped it and just made a duct-cover.

By then the sun had set on my duct tape paradise, so I did some winterizing inside, such as replacing the door-to-door salesmen in the cracks. The next morning we had some errands to run, so I pulled on my coat, walked out the door, and stepped on the air conditioner cover.

 

I took this picture while standing on my air conditioner cover. That is not normal.
 

 

 

Some of the tape was still on the cover.

Some of the tape was still on the wall.

But they were no longer connected to each other.

I said something then that I rarely say in public, and would be best off not repeating here. Then I stumbled back inside and collapsed on the couch, where my wife took in my red face and the steam coming from my ears, and tried to decide whether to dial 911.

And that’s why I’m considering giving up on the whole winterizing thing. What, I can’t build a fire in the bathtub and hover over it all winter? It probably worked for Fred Markey.

By the way, I’ve got some used duct tape for sale … cheap.

 


 

Get our non-winter related books here:

 

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

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·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible:  https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 

Remember: Reading doesn't have to be an outdoor activity.


 During the last national election (in the otherwise cursed year of 2024), Tippecanoe County, Indiana received a number of write-in ballots for the office of President. I've always thought of write-ins as being the sign of a healthy, free country, where citizens can voice their displeasure with the two main party candidates.

But sometimes, not so much.

In addition to the write-ins, one ballot was held back as provisional because the voter dropped it off on election night--at a Colorado polling place. Half the people of Colorado probably don't even know where Indiana is, let alone Tippecanoe County, and vice-versa.

As far as write-in votes, the biggest vote-getter was Jill Stein, who was running as the Green Party nominee. I don't know what their platform is, but I like the color.

 


 

39 voters chose the candidates for the Party of Socialism and Liberation. I guess their goals are pretty much right there in the title: They believe revolution is necessary to establish socialism. In my study of history I've noticed most socialist revolutions lead to a few people being in charge, and a lot of other people being dead.

Cornel West and Melina Abdullah also snagged a few votes. No, I don't know either, let me check ...

Oh--activists! Also socialists, and although that's not my thing, I have to admire Cornel West's awesome and intimidating hairstyle.

U.S. Rep. Thomas Massie, a Republican from Kentucky, got two votes, but I hear he's way more popular in Kentucky. He got the same amount of votes as Kanye West, who I hear is not as popular in Kentucky.

Jesus got 6 votes, and God got 3. Honestly, it seems like those should be combined.

So, who else got write-in votes?

Mike Rowe, he of "Dirty Jobs", one of the few people in the entertainment industry I'd actually vote for. Also one of the few who has an actual idea of what the average Joe does for a living.

Johnny Cash, who I'd probably also vote for except he's kind of, well ... dead. Not that I'd trying to discriminate against dead people, mind you. Lots of dead people vote every election.

Former President John Quincy Adams, by all accounts a man of principle, but sadly also dead. For awhile, now. He would be eligible, though, as he was a one term President, and I'm not sure there's anything in the Constitution forbidding dead candidates. Some people in Congress look awfully dead.

John Quincy--who wouldn't love those sideburns?


Singer Willie Nelson. I can't help thinking he'd have a "legalize marijuana" plank in his platform. If not a plank, at least a joint.

Alfred E. Neuman, the "What--me worry?" mascot of MAD Magazine, which doesn't have the circulation it once did. He may be a little too laid back.

 


 

Michael Vick, sportsball star who also ran a dog fighting ring that got him put in prison. Lots of politicians have gotten away with worse stuff than that, but as a dog lover I kind wish he was still behind bars. Which ... also isn't necessarily fatal to a political career.

Kermit the Frog. Yeah, I'd totally vote for him. I mean, he kept the Muppet Show more or less under control, and as First Lady Miss Piggy would also serve as butt-kicker in chief.

And finally, the one I'm really surprised didn't get more votes:

"They All Suck."


Get our generally non-political books here:

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible:  https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Vote for the guy with the most books.



 At long last I can finally announce that we're finished with Haunted Noble County, Indiana!

I mean, of course, until I get edits back from the publisher. Emily finished her go-through, correcting all my small mistakes and showing me the big mistakes to correct. By the time you read this, our editor at The History Press will be shaking his head and muttering, "You had a whole year, and couldn't clean it up better than this?"

Well, I hope that's not what he's saying.

This is the longest it's ever taken me to write a book, with the exception of Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights. In both cases that includes long delays in which nothing got done at all. Not my fault! Mostly.

Then there were the pictures. We planned on about thirty, most taken by Emily and me; we turned in fifty.

Photography wasn't all that easy when John A. Harkless was doing it.

 

That's the tombstone of John A. Harkless, a photographer who should get his own credit in the book. For this book and for Images of America: Albion and Noble County, we depended on several local sources for historical photos. But most of the older photos, at least from the Albion area, originated with Harkless.

It wasn't unusual for us to find the same photo in more than one collection--sometimes from four or five sources. In that case, we credited the first place we found it. Often that was the Noble County Historical Society (which operates the Old Jail Museum), or the collections of Mike Mapes and Grace Leatherman, or the Stone's Trace Historical Society.

The funny thing is that Haunted Noble County, Indiana isn't an historical book, really. It's supposed to be about ghosts and haunted places, and that means places that are haunted today, doesn't it? But I love to research, and I love history. Whenever we encountered a local ghost story I couldn't help thinking: What events let to a spirit hanging around? How long have they been there? What was the place like when they were alive?

We found this photo of the Wolf Lake Onion Parade in three places, although first through the Noble County Historical Society.

Well, if you love researching, and you get a chance to research, what happens? That's right: rabbit hole. A lot of rabbit holes.

It's not the only thing that delayed the project, of course. I've mentioned before our visit from COVID, which overstayed its welcome. We got so delayed that when I finally saw the finish line, I realized I had to make a dash to reach it. Or, to put it another way, the deadline was approaching like Godzilla on a bender.

This photo was in Mike Mapes' massive collection. (Just to clarify, none of the photos in this blog are in the book--they're just examples of what great history people have preserved.)

So once again--I said the same thing in May--sorry to anyone I didn't reconnect with before it was too late. Also, thank you to those I did connect with, and there were many, and thank you again for all those history buffs who helped lead me down those various rabbit holes. Sometimes I ended up in areas that didn't add to this project, but that doesn't mean they weren't fun.

 

The Stone's Trace Historical Society had this photo of downtown Ligonier.

 

 

And when will the results of our hard work be revealed to the world? Well ... I did mention that we missed deadlines, right? Our editor was very understanding, but the world of traditional publishing plods on like an old plow horse, and I wouldn't expect to see it before the spring of 2025--maybe later. I'll keep you updated.


 

 

Remember: Every time you read a book, an ancestor smiles in their grave. Which is actually kind of scary.

This is the tenth anniversary of one of my favorite blogs, and also of this one. I reran it a few years ago, but few people read it because it's about history. As I said in the opening to our book "Hoosier Hysterical", history would be a lot more fun if it was made ... well ... fun. So I had fun with this. (It's been changed slightly, because I'm older.)

 


            Ever since Christopher Columbus first landed in the New World and hid all the Viking artifacts, America has been a land of opportunity, independence, and smallpox.

            Eventually the British colonists decided to go off and form their own country. (Except for Canadians, who were too polite to leave.) Since our schools don’t teach enough history--there’s so much more of it now--here's a quick timeline of how we, the people, went from tea to coffee:
 

            1756: The French and Indian War

            This was probably the first World War. Seriously: Over here we just mention the French and Indians, but the rest of the world called it the Seven Years War. It spread all over the globe, like a viral YouTube video, but with more cannon fire and disease. Nations involved included Austria, England, France, Great Britain, Prussia, and Sweden. Oh, and the Indians, who had their own list of nations.

            (Later Prussia, not wanting to be confused with Russia, changed their name to Germany.)

            The war cost the British government so much, they began taxing the colonists to help pay for it. Yet they didn’t allow the colonies to raise their own armies, plus there was that whole taxation without representation thing.

            Oh, one more thing: The whole world war began (mostly) because a young Virginia militia leader ambushed a French scouting party in the far western wilderness … near Pittsburgh. In later years, George Washington would be more careful to start battles after war was declared.
 
 

            1770: The Boston Massacre:

            No, it wasn’t a sporting event. It started when a group of colonists began throwing snowballs at a squad of British soldiers (In Boston. Sheesh.). That’s not so bad, is it? Then the colonists starting tossing sticks and stones, which can indeed break bones.

            This is why you shouldn’t throw stuff at people with guns. Five colonists died and the soldiers were arrested, but they were mostly acquitted thanks to the crafty defense by a young lawyer names John Adams.


            1773: The Boston Tea Party

            Tired of high taxes, an unresponsive government, and Earl Gray, colonists (In Boston—sheesh) dressed up as Indians, sneaked aboard ships (In the harbor—sheesh), and tossed 342 chests of tea into the water. In today’s dollars, they turned Boston harbor into the world’s biggest cup, with $750,000 worth of tea. They were led, of course, by the famous Boston patriot Folger “Starbuck” Maxwell.

            But why blame the Indians? They didn’t even drink tea.


            1774: The First Continental Congress

            They didn’t get much done. But in their defense, they were a Congress.


            1775: Patrick Henry stirs the pot

            With the grievances of the colonists ignored by a remote government—sort of like today, only without Facebook—a radical named Patrick Henry, upset because he had two first names and no last one, began making fiery speeches and resolutions.

            The truth is, Henry was kind of a deadbeat. Worse, a lawyer. But man, he sure could talk good, and his actions helped ignite the American Revolution. You’ve probably heard one line of his big speech: “Give me liberty or give me death!” Luckily, he got liberty.


            1775: The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere.

            He rode through the countryside yelling, “The British are coming!”

            Sleepy residents yelled back, “Shut up, fool! We are the British!”

            Then he got arrested, probably for violating the noise ordinance, and the ride was completed by William Dawes. Unfortunately for Dawes, the name “Paul Revere” sounded better in poetry.


            Also 1775 (busy year, there): The Battle of Lexington and Concord

            Revere discovered the British were marching by sea, which slowed them down considerably because the horses didn’t swim well. That gave the Minutemen almost a full two minutes. It was plenty of time to gather in Lexington, to protect stores of arms and gunpowder, and Concord, to protect the grapes.


            1775 (saw that coming, didn’t you?): The Second Continental Congress

            Didn’t get much done. They made up for it in 1776, though.


            1775 or so: The Battle of Bunker Hill

            GPS misdirected the troops, who actually fought on Breeds Hill.


            177—wait for it—5: Patriots occupy Montreal, Canada

            Things were looking up, up there. And that’s the last time things looked up for the Revolutionaries in the north, who discovered Canadian hospitality didn’t extend to invasion.




I wrote about both the American Revolution and Canadian hospitality in Hoosier Hysterical. Did you know Indiana was the location of the westernmost naval battle of the Revolution? You didn't? It's in the book. I'll go sulk, now.




            1776 (finally!) Egged on by the British, Cherokee Indians attack along the entire  frontier

            They were still upset about the whole Tea Party fraud. Also, they were mad about getting named for a country on the other side of the world.


            June 7, 1776: Richard Henry Lee reminds the Continental Congress that they’ve been rebelling for more than a year, and wouldn’t it be a good idea to actually declare themselves to be rebelling?

            June 11: Five Congressmen are appointed to draft a Declaration of Independence. The other four talk Thomas Jefferson into doing the writing, pointing out that he’s the only one who’s invented a portable desk, and they left theirs at home.

            June 12-27: Jefferson writes a rough draft, only to receive a rejection letter from the committee.

July 1-4: The entire Congress rips apart the Declaration. (Not literally. Sheesh.) Jefferson quits writing and goes into politics.

July 2: Congress declares independence, just as the British fleet and army arrive to invade New York. Talk about timing. John Adams declares that July 2 will forever be celebrated as Independence Day.

July 4: Having already declared independence, Congress now adopts the Declaration of Independence, declaring something they’ve already declared. John Adams’ head explodes.

July 9: George Washington has the Declaration read before the American army. The soldiers nod politely and ask when they’re going to get paid.

There was much more to it, of course. In fact, you could say the American Revolution went on until the US Constitution was adopted in 1788, or even until we fought the second Revolutionary war in 1812, which might also be related to the real second World War.

Now, that’s a funny story.

 


 

What's that, you ask? Why yes, of course you can celebrate July 4th, or any date, by buying Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving At All:




https://www.amazon.com/Hoosier-Hysterical-became-midwist-without-ebook/dp/B01H7YJNFE

https://markrhunter.com/HoosierHysterical.html

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hoosier-hysterical-emily-hunter/1123866879

https://bookshop.org/p/books/hoosier-hysterical-how-the-west-became-the-midwest-without-moving-at-all-mark-r-hunter/8021562

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30641159-hoosier-hysterical



 I realized while going through old blogs that I write about winter way more often than summer. Like most humor writers, my work is usually about stuff I'd be complaining about anyway, so there you go. But after our two hour air conditioner home maintenance job last week I wanted to complain about summer a bit, so I dredged up this 2016 blog I wrote after helping my in-laws move in southeast Missouri ... in July.


They had to get moved faster than planned, after a car crashed into their old home. For one thing, the bedroom was now the width of a bathtub. It had huge holes in the former walls ... and Missouri mosquitos can punch through walls without help. And finally, the electricity had to be cut off to the home. See above about southeast Missouri—in July.

Here's the difference between that area and where I live, in northeast Indiana. Hoosier weather gets just as hot and humid ... from time to time. It seems like our heat waves last forever, but in reality they rarely go more than a few days. (This week excepted.) In Missouri the humidity pops up to 114% in May, and the temperature doesn't drop below 90 until October. Yes, the humidity's actually more than 100%. It’s a head-scratcher, or maybe that’s the mosquitos.
 

Flowers still came out in the morning, but in the afternoon they burst into flames.


Their winters are wonderful. I mean, compared to Indiana.

So that led to a few bumps in moving, such as my difficulty seeing because my glasses melted. Going into that trailer was like sticking your head into the stove to see how the all-day Thanksgiving turkey is doing. Leaving the trailer was like going into the kitchen where the turkey's been cooking all day.

It was so hot they had to open the fire hydrants to let steam out.

It was so hot even the politicians stopped talking.

It was so hot we had to put the beverage coolers into cooler coolers.

It was hot, I tell ya'.

 

 

Reel-mounted fire extinguishers were mounted by each mailbox, in case the postal delivery arrived in flames.


None of this bothered the mosquitos. The first day we soaked ourselves in bug spray, which also cooled us down until later, when it started boiling off our skin. But I was wearing jeans at first, and when I got the bright idea to try shorts an hour later, I forgot to reapply. By the end of the day my legs looked like an overhead photo of a heavily shelled World War I battleground. I couldn't get more bites touring a doughnut factory.

 

In the end it was worth it. The in-laws had a nice little place, we visited with some friends, and after regaining consciousness we even got to do some traveling. There's something to be said for helping people out. If I could, I'd go back down there and embrace the whole community with a great big, loving cloud of DDT.

It would still be hot, though.




Remember to check your back seat for kids, pets, and ghosts.
 

 Just some photos of Summit Lake State Park, from where Emily and I watched the eclipse in April (which I'd imagine most people have already forgotten about). It's more or less in east-central Indiana, about a two hour drive from where we live. The park, not the eclipse.

There is, not surprisingly, a lake. Fishing, kayaking, swimming, the whole enchilada. There's probably someplace close by to get enchiladas, too.

 

 

To be honest, after spending all that time roaming across Indiana while we wrote Hoosier Hysterical, we couldn't remember even hearing about Summit Lake S.P. It was, naturally, packed when we are there, but on a non-eclipse day I'll bet it's a great place for a trail hike or a day on the water.

 

Just don't upset the area with fowl language.

 

It's hard to tell, but those two big limbs on the water were covered with turtles.

 

 

The 60s called, they want their clothes back! Actually, these people were very nice, and their dog and I fell in love with each other. He's a leaner--dog lovers will understand.

 

 

 

Remember: You can read outdoors, too.


 

The Hoosiers is in no way related to our book Hoosier Hysterical, being separated by a century or so and a barrel of laughs. (That is, the one I wrote is a barrel of laughs. Well, I like to think so.)

Some books I recommend despite knowing most of my readers won't be interested. So it is with this centennial edition of The Hoosiers, which came out in 1915, a year before Indiana's hundredth birthday. My wife's bosses loaned me this original copy, which I'd imagine is pretty rare. I even avoided eating and drinking while leafing through the delicate pages.

Much to my surprise, The Hoosiers is available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Hoosiers-Centennial-Meredith-Nicholson/dp/B00FDZ0EB2

 

 

I don't expect it'll get a lot of sales there, but it had several reprints back in the day. Although Nicholson covers the basics of Indiana history, its main focus is the arts: Nicholson goes into detail about early Indiana writers, poets, and occasionally painters, as well as other notable Hoosiers of what was then the olden days (and today is twice as olden).

Some of the notables and their products from back then might be recognizable to today's Indianians (as Nicholson puts it, despite the book's title). She also goes over other groups that brought "cultivation" to Indiana, including religious leaders, lawyers and politicians, and those involved in what would then have been the relatively recent Civil War.

Together those notables are woven together into a look at what Indiana was when first formed, and also what it became by the time of the book's writing. From that standpoint it can be interesting, considering how much things changed in the previous and following centuries.

Just the same, I can't recommend the book unless you're really invested in the minutia of Indiana history. I found it easier to read than I'd expected, and fascinating, but I can't stress enough how much it appeals to a very limited readership.

 

 

 


 

If you'd like to browse Indiana history in a somewhat lighter way, well ... you know where I'd send you.


 

 

 

 

 


 

 I'm a huge astronomy geek. The only way I could get more excited about the upcoming solar eclipse would be if it caused chocolate to fall from the sky.

Just the same, the fuss going on ahead of the April 8th event has passed the hubbub stage, and gone straight into a hullabaloo. I feel compelled to throw some water on the excitement ... and that may be close to literal, in this case.

In 2017 Emily and I drove from her father's house to a state park in Missouri to be in the path of the total eclipse. Even though it was in the middle of nowhere, a good crowd showed up on a very hot August day.

 

 

 

There's your first sign of trouble: August weather is different from April weather. In fact, the odds are it'll be cloudy on the 8th, and it's a short jump from there to rain. In one of my novels a character does a rain dance, but I'm not sure an anti-rain dance even exists.

In the path of totality it'll still be interesting even if it's cloudy. Well, probably: I've only been to one total eclipse, and up until the moment it disappeared the Sun was ripping off our skin.

 

https://cms.accuweather.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/2024-eclipse-cloud-climatology.jpg
 
Now, I've witnessed several partial eclipses, and they're pretty cool even if you have to look at them through dark glasses. It turns twilight, and sometimes you can see the shape of the eclipse on the ground, focused through tree branches.

 

But they're nothing like a total eclipse. Nothing. A total eclipse is literally breathtaking. Nature seems to stand still, the wind dies, stars and planets come out. For an brief, incredible moment as the Moon completely covers the Sun, you can look directly at it.

The problem is, the area of the total eclipse is just a hundred miles or so wide.

 

I haven't heard that talked about a lot, and I'm afraid people not directly in the path are going to be disappointed. Where I live and in the closest city, Fort Wayne, the Sun will be over 90% covered, but not totally. It will NOT be safe at any time to look at the Sun without special protection. It'll still be cool if you're into that kind of thing, as I am.

But we're driving south, to be in the path of totality. It's a long wait for a short event, but it's worth the wait. Besides, it's just as likely to be cloudy here as there. That's the reason why officials are so worried about traffic on eclipse day, especially right after totality: People crowding into that 100 mile long strip, then heading for home.

In 2017 that wasn't a problem for Emily and me: We got there early, and afterward we hit the park trails for a few hours, until the traffic had cleared some. That's our plan this time, too. We'll have a full tank of gas, snacks, fluids, cell phones and their chargers, a few issues of "Writer's Digest", and some print books, too. Hopefully we'll find a place near a bathroom.

 

So there are your dual problems: Anyone from around here and in many other places will have to travel to see the full eclipse, and even those who don't are likely to find their view spoiled by typical Midwest spring weather. Add the expected traffic jam for an event that will climax over a period of about four minutes, and you could be forgiven for staying where you are and watching most of the sun disappear through eclipse glasses.

But us? We can't wait.

 

 

 



Remember, reading books is way safer than staring into the sun ... depending on which book.

 When I complained to my surgeon that I was still having symptoms of sinus problems, he stuck a big metal tube up my nostril and worked it around for half an hour. Then he stuck it up my other nostril.

And now I no longer complain to my sinus surgeon--about anything.

Then he asked me how long it's been since I was allergy tested. It turns out people with allergies should be tested every few years or so, because in some cases allergies come and go, such as when you get older and your body starts to break down. Not that I'm describing me. Nope.

It had been ten years, so the next week they used up their entire supply of needles on me. If something swelled up and turned red, it wasn't a rebellious pimple: It was Mother Nature thumbing her nose.

 

Mother Nature has a big nose.

My entire arm, upper and lower, looked like a Braille dictionary. I was allergic to everything on Earth, half of everything on the Moon, and dust from Mars.

Okay, so that wasn't really true. For instance, I'm not allergic to Timothy Grass, who I'm fairly sure is the lead singer for Three Dog Night. Much to my shock, I'm not allergic to ragweed. Also, although I once had an allergic reaction after fighting a fire in a pine woods, I'm not allergic to pine. There must have been some cottonwood, birch, ash, red cedar, walnut, oak or hickory among those burning pines.

My cat allergy was confirmed, but--surprise!--I'm no longer allergic to dogs. We still aren't getting another one, though: We had the perfect dog for a decade, and he's not so easily replaceable.

Beowulf was very cuddly, and it turns out he never got his dander up.

Otherwise it was all the usual: molds, grasses, dust, politicians, and those dirty, nasty bed mites, which are much like politicians but with higher morals. Plants? Russian Thistle, English Plantain, Bermuda Grass--none a problem as long as I stay here in the good old USA.

Now, all but two of these tested at a "moderate" level. Only two read as severe and one of those was, naturally, Aspergillus, which can cause infections all over the place--including the sinuses.

It's a mold, which is a type of fungus, and (I learned) it can be really, really nasty. Being allergic to Aspergillus is like being especially susceptible to the Black Death.

Then came the real shock, and the second allergy testing at the "severe" level:

Horses.

If you know my wife, you get why hearing that was like being ... well, kicked by a horse.

 

An entire horse-sized battlefield, loaded with Mark-seeking guided dander.

 Emily is what's known as a "horse person".

 


Wait--she's wearing my hat!

And what are we going to do about this? Well ... nothing. I mean, sure, Emily will clean up as soon as she gets home, but it's not like I'm going to demand she gives up horses. It would be like telling me to give up chocolate, something I'm NOT allergic to. You gotta do what you love.

As for me, I have to choose between allergy shots and trying to get rid of mold like Penicillium, Eicoccum, and that wonderful Asperigillus, all of which can be found on ...

Books.

Guess I'll take the shots.

Hey ... are those books on my dusty carpet?

 

 

Remember: Every time you don’t buy a book, I start sneezing. Save my sinuses.


 

History can be funny, even if it makes history teachers roll over in their graves (hopefully not while they’re still alive). In Hoosier Hysterical, Mark and Emily Hunter tour Indiana in an off-the-wall, Indy 500-style race though the past, from Paleo-Indians through the Northwest Territory, to the gas in Gas City.

http://www.markrhunter.com/HoosierHysterical.html

Along the way we encounter killers, heroes, trivia, and of course, Johnny Appleseed. It’s as American as sugar cream pie—Indiana’s state pie, thanks to the efforts of a hard-working state General Assembly. So sit back and have some fun … and if you accidentally learn something along the way, that's just gravy ... on breaded tenderloin.
 

You can order Hoosier Hysterical and our other books in the regular places:

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter


My Fort Wayne TV interview was reposted to a South Bend station, and also to an Evansville station. How cool is that? (Pretty cool!)

21Country: Haunted Noble County https://www.wndu.com/video/2023/10/26/21country-haunted-noble-county/

https://www.14news.com/video/2023/10/26/21country-haunted-noble-county/



 A few thoughts on our upcoming book project, which is tentatively titled Spooky Noble County, or: Hoosier Ya' Gonna Call?

(Kidding! I'm just calling it Haunted Noble County, although History Press may have something to say about that.)

I'll probably cut down to posting one blog a week, for now. I post based on my work schedule, which amounted to one on the weekend, one the next Wednesday or so, one the next Monday or so; repeat. Luckily I have some good blogs already written and waiting, along with some bad blogs. That'll give me more time for research and writing, plus in September I'll be on vacation, which will make things complicated.

I just realized I'm doing vacations wrong: They're supposed to be less complicated.

This is what a less complicated vacation looks like.

Emily and I want to tour around Noble County, looking for spooky/haunted things/places to take pictures of. If a ghost shows up, that's just gravy.

By the way, I knew about Spook Hill, although I haven't been there for many years; I also knew about Sand Hill, which is the second highest hill in Indiana. What I didn't know is that the Spook Hill Cemetery (that's not its real name) is actually ON Sand Hill.

Emily wanted to know who determined these things. Did they count the Indiana Dunes? How about Brown County? I assured her surveyors have pretty good rulers, although climbing up three feet at a time can be a pain.

Anyway, we'll use two cameras: The newer one, called the Blue Camera, has better pixel thingies, for photos so sharp you'll need bandages. The older one, called the Black Camera, can switch from automatic to manual for more creative photography.

The black camera looks something like this one. You know: black.

 

Sadly, I had neither with me when I spotted what I thought would be perfect for a book cover:

 

 


 

Isn't it cool? I KNOW! But it was an off the cuff picture snapped with my cell phone, and cuff photos often don't cut it. So every time there's a storm forecast I'm going to stand in the same spot with the blue camera (it's waterproof) and wait for my chance. Or maybe I'll get lucky and someone will donate an historical photo that's better.

Meanwhile I have a list of people to talk to now, and tales of haunted places around the county I didn't know about. I intend to do the bulk of the interviewing and researching in September ... we'll see. But I have deadlines now, so I can't slack off.

I mean, I can ... but Emily recently bought a whip, and the more she practices, the more nervous I get.


By the way, while this process is going on you're all welcome to check out our previous historical books, or humor books, or fiction, or, by gosh, anything else you want, 'cause this is America! Remember, writers live on reviews, purchases, and coffee ... and I don't drink coffee, so don't let me metaphorically starve.

 

 



 I'm reposting this blog from last summer because, let's face it, you could post something about heat waves every summer. Okay, I'm actually doing it because I was busy working on the Haunted Noble County project and ran out of time. But they're talking about a 100 degree heat index tomorrow--something other parts of the country have been seeing all summer--so it still fits.

 _____________________________________________

 

This week has been so hot, "so hot" jokes have been trending.

There's only so much you can do with them, of course--they've been around a long time. One of the original European settlers, in the Roanoke Colony of Virginia, left a note that said "it's so hot we're moving to Plymouth". The settlers were never heard from again, after apparently getting lost on the Washington, D.C. beltway.

Just the same, it's been so hot even I've been uncomfortable, not that I'd admit it. I'd still take a heat wave over a cold snap, but that doesn't mean I like either one. I went out to mow the lawn at 9 a.m. the other day, and ended up going through five water bottles: Three in me and two over me. It was so hot the lawn mower started flashing an error light that said "water me".

 

"You think I'm leaving the shade without a drink, first? You just filled me with gasoline!"

 

 

I didn't know it even had error lights.

Fun fact: In order to clean my mower you have to connect a garden hose, which sprays water all over the inside of the mower deck while it runs, to clean the grass off. So, you DO have to water it.

Naturally, it's not just the heat up here. Last week was so humid that, after I mowed, I had to step into the shower to dry off. Relax, I'm not posting any photos of that.

Anything that was in full sunlight started to glow red, unless it was already red, in which case it started to glow orange. The fire hydrant down the street called me over and begged me to let my dog pee on it. I refused, being worried about steam burns.


"Don't worry about me peeing back at you, I can hold my water."

 

At one point the humidity level was 140%, which translated to a heat index of, and I quote, "broil". Jim Cantore came over from The Weather Channel to investigate how the humidity can actually be higher than 100%, and his cameraman drowned. Meanwhile, three people were blinded when the sun shone of Cantore's head. He was heard to say, "I'd rather have thundersnow". Speak for yourself, fella.

But I took advantage of it by letting the air conditioner drain its water into a bucket outside, then using the bucket to water my plants. By the way, if anyone needs any planters, I, uh, killed all my flowers with scalding water.

It's been especially rough for people who don't have air conditioners--or for people with no power at all, including the ones hit by the most recent thunderstorms and derechos. (It is too a real word--shut up, spell check.)

I tried to honor their crisis by going outside, at least long enough to mow the lawn. Their general response was that I was crazy, and could they stop by for several hours?

Anyway, eventually I had to go out again, to let the dog water that hydrant. The dog's response? "Um, no thanks ... I'll hold it."

"Nope. Uh-uh, not until the next cold snap hits in August."

 
 
 

 


Remember, every time you forget to hydrate a writer passes out. They have enough problems.
.

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