Slightly Off the Mark

I'm the last person who can be called on to write a fair review of a movie with the word "Godzilla" in the title.

The Godzilla movies were my third childhood fandom (after the Oz books and the original "Star Trek"). One of the earliest movies I remember going to see at the theater was "Destroy all Monsters". (It must have been a re-release, since the original came out when I was only five.) On TV, the best Saturday nights were when a Godzilla movie was part of the late-night Double Creature Feature.

So let's face it: I'm a Godzilla fanboy.

In this sequel to 2014's Godzilla we again encounter Monarch, a mysterious secret group that, since the fight involving Godzilla five years before, has expanded into a SHIELD-like international agency, complete with giant aircraft-carrying super-planes. Although Godzilla itself has disappeared, they're monitoring numerous slumbering beasts of similar size--beasts that are soon awakened by a terrorist cell bent on protecting the Earth from ... other humans. Thirty story monsters are, it seems, very eco-friendly, not to mention they'll cut down on the overpopulation problem.

To me their plot was a little sketchy on both logic and outcome. Still, it results in exactly what we paid to see: Godzilla comes out of hiding to deal with with the situation.

As with "Destroy All Monsters", Godzilla shares the screen with a whole crowd of skyscraper-sized monsters, including Mothra, Rodan, and the three -headed King Ghidorah, which here functions as the super-villain of the piece. If you're at all a Japanese monster movie fan, just seeing those names together is cheer-inducing. The movie makers recognize this, and unlike the previous film, we get plenty of monster-on-monster action ... um, in a totally non-sexual kind of way, mind you.

Still, the human cast gets plenty to do, even if a large part of it is explaining and dodging. Kyle Chandler and Vera Farmiga do well as a divorced couple whose expertise is needed in the crisis, and I especially liked Millie Bobby Brown in her first movie as their young daughter, who takes matters into her own hands more than once. Otherwise the cast is fine, especially Ken Watanabe, Ziyi Zhang, and Bradley Whitford. Of course, not everyone will make it out alive, monster or human.

The effects? They done good. I almost miss the fun of guys in rubber suits and obvious models, but these days people crave something that looks real, and they get it. For me the most shiver-inducing moment was a Godzilla appearance accompanied by Bear McCreary's reworking of the original Godzilla music ... somebody needs to buy me that score for my birthday.

My Rating:

Entertainment value: 3 3/4 out of 4 M&Ms. I had to subtract some, because the villain's plot was just a bit ... questionable. But I didn't go for the plot, and I'll bet I'm not alone in that.

Oscar Potential: 2 out of 4 M&Ms. Sure, it should get some Oscar attention for things like effects and music ... but it won't.

            Years ago I did a review of movies just out on video, which I called “Amateur Armchair Review” because … why not? I stopped because the paper apparently no longer needed the filler, but you really miss me, don’t you? Go on, say it …

            Fine. I’m back anyway, because doing a regular review of new movies gives me an excuse to go see new movies. I’m starting late with “Godzilla”, the reboot of my favorite childhood monster movies. Instead of bad dubbing and a guy in a rubber suit we get spectacular effects and excellent production values, but I liked it anyway.

            Unlike the last American attempt at the franchise, which I didn’t hate but also didn’t like much, this version has the feel of a Japanese monster movie. That’s a compliment, by the way. The biggest criticism I’ve seen is that the main character just kind of floats through, letting things happen to him. That’s true. At least, it’s true for the main human character.

            Aaron Taylor-Johnson is Ford Brody, who reluctantly heads to Japan to bail out his obsessed dad, Joe (Bryan Cranston … why do they never give acting Oscars for monster movies?) Joe is obsessing over a nuclear accident that killed his wife years ago, and it turns out Joe is right that the whole thing is a cover-up … there’s a monster in them-there ruins.

            But the monster is not Godzilla, who at 60 was probably convalescing at the Old Monster’s Home. It’s a MUTO (don’t ask), a giant monster that happens to wake up just when our heroes break into the place. What are the chances?

            Things go south very quickly and soon Godzilla is chasing the MUTO, because he’s apparently employed by Mother Nature to bring balance back to the Force, or maybe I’m mixing up my franchises. Luckily Brody’s wife, played by Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen’s less scary sister Elizabeth, is safe with their son all the way across the Pacific, in San Francisco. The monsters will never end up there. Will they?

            This is not the perfect monster movie, mostly because I’m not getting a cut. It’s true Ford Brody tends to go along with whatever challenge tends to pop up in front of him—and he certainly isn’t as much fun as the 1998 “Godzilla” character played by Matthew Broderick, who along with a great cast was trapped in a movie with no heart. (Could that be related to movie maker Roland Emmerich saying he didn’t like the original Godzilla movies? That’s who you want making one.)

            Although Brody manages to save the day in the end—somebody’s day—sort of—I suspect his bouncing around was on purpose. Yes, he’s just trying to get back to his family, and later protect them, but his and all human activity is a subplot. (And sometimes not an interesting subplot.)

This isn’t about humanity, which to the monsters is no more important than ants on the ground being trampled during a fist fight. This is very much about humanity’s helplessness in the face of forces of nature that care not a bit what people do. It’s a dark film, very much a disaster movie, with absolutely mind-blowing special effects. But it brings back the spirit of the original films, in a way that’s hard to explain.

            And yeah, for all the destruction, it’s fun. Don’t judge me.

            My score, going back to my old review days:

            Oscar potential: 3 ½ out of 4 M&M’s, if only for special effects, or the score.

            Entertainment value: 4 out of 4 M&M’s. The good green ones.