Note: If you like happy endings ... you might not want to read to the end of this post.


In a previous blog I detailed my failed attempt to sell a novel to the romance industry's biggest book publisher. The synopsis: They liked my query, asked for the entire manuscript, then disappeared into a publishing black hole from which even emails couldn't escape.

I wish all my snynopsis were that easy. Snynopsis's? Synopsi?

I submitted to a specific line of books within the publisher, but that line's requirements have changed so much my story would no longer be a fit for them, anyway. So, I was free to submit Fire On Mist Creek to a different publisher.

Or to a different line within the same publisher.

No, I'm not insane, hear me out. First, here's the blurb I wrote for the story:


Thanks to insomnia, volunteer firefighter Alice Delaney is Night Watch for the little town of Mist Creek, Kentucky—the entire Night Watch, unless you count the firehouse dog. That’s a break for former Chicago firefighter Reed Carter, who she finds in a broken-down pickup truck near town. Soon after that he returns the favor, by helping her rescue the occupant of a burning house.

 

Both are on the run from their respective demons, but Reed may have found his salvation in the form of a little town in crisis, and a woman dealing with loss. Alice isn’t so sure: Newly promoted to Mist Creek Fire Captain, she’s dealing with a financial crunch and an arsonist. She’s not ready for a relationship with an action junkie who could be taken away from her. Not again.

 

 

I had to research firefighting, of course.

 

 

It's a work of staggering genius. Not the book, the blurb: I boiled that down from 60,000 words! Blurbs and synopsi ... sss, are the bane of book writers.

On a related note, the novel was 60,000 words. The Big Publisher had another line that would be absolutely perfect for this book, assuming they didn't change the line's requirements before I got it to them. There was only one small glitch: That line wants stories in the 70,000 word range. Maybe not exactly, but a 10,000 word difference is a deal killer.

Now, there are other publishers I could submit Fire On Mist Creek to. Still, I wanted to work with this publisher, I said stubbornly, in a rather whiny voice. But add 10,000 words to a story I thought was finished?

I found my answer in another dumb thing I did, which is where I find many of my answers. During the almost five years waiting to hear back after they requested my manuscript, I wrote other books. I wasn't just pacing in the back yard. Imagine all the dead grass.

 

Hundreds of books! Thousands of books! Okay, eleven.

 

 

Two of those books are set in that same small town, Mist Creek. Okay, one starts out elsewhere and ends up in Mist Creek. The point is, if I couldn't find a publisher that's interested in all the books, I may have wasted a lot of writing time.

But in my haste, I found the answer to my length problem. Many characters from Fire on Mist Creek show up in the other two novels, but a lot of characters from those two books didn't even exist when I wrote the first one.

And that's when I felt a great swell of inspiration, or maybe more stupidity.

If it's going to be a series, more of the people from the other books should be introduced in the first. In fact, it would be easy, because some of those later people are involved Mist Creek's emergency services. They'd naturally be around each other, anyway. In the other two books there's only one other new arrival; the other characters are already town residents.

Since the story is set before the others, I could put them in without having to refer to the other two books and confuse everyone. Sure, I'm confused, but if I could straighten myself out everyone else will be fine. Even as I mused over the idea, new scenes came to me that would enrich the story and also play into the main plot.

(Update, because I didn't post this right away: So that's what I did. The rewrite is finished, and the new story sent!)*

 

 

I have an office, and I'm ready to write! Once I find my laptop.

 

 

told you it's genius. It's such a great idea, I'm pretty sure aliens showed up one night and inserted it into my, um, body. That would explain the tiny piece of metal in my chest. Even if I end up with another publisher, the book will be better. Hold my beer, I'm writing!

(Okay, I don't drink beer, but leave my tea alone--it's still hot, just like my typing fingers.)


*Okay, here's the bad news. All this was in the past: I submitted the book to Harlequin Heartwarming on April 6. The Publisher Who I Just Named, aware of how long they strung me along last time, sent me on a response on May 16, a blistering speed for a traditional publisher.

It was a form rejection. So, we move on.


You can find the books that did somehow make it to publication here:

 

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 

 

 

Remember, writers need all the support they can get.

 

  (Note: This is the OFFICIAL announcement. You can tell by the officious way I typed it. Ignore the previous mentions.)


 As you've almost certainly already heard, we have a "new" book out, plus a really new book up for preorder. Considering what a crappy year it's been so far, I'd say that's reason to celebrate.

At least a little "yahoo!" and a chocolate cake.

After getting the rights back from the original publisher, we've been trying to independently publish The Notorious Ian Grant for ... well, the first thing that stopped it was COVID. No, that was late 2023 for Emily and me, wasn't it? I don't remember what the first thing was, but the theme continued: illness, injury, death--generally, the 2020s.

So when I got this preview copy in the mail, it felt like reaching the peak of Mount Everest:

Your thumb may vary.


Not quite the summit, because Emily had to make some corrections, then get it up and running as an e-book. It'll be on Kindle Direct Publishing for 90 days, then go into wider distribution for those of you who would like to get it elsewhere. The print version went up just a few days ago. But the old version is also still listed, so for our improved edition, go here:

Meanwhile its "parent" book, Storm Chaser, is getting a price reduction in both ebook and print, as part of my cunning plan to get people hooked on the first book so they have to get the rest. You can find Storm Chaser here:

And from there you can click on the author's name (me, I'm the author) for the related books in the Storm Chaser series, Storm Squalls and The No-Campfire Girls, and our other books.

Another meanwhile, a few weeks ago I was surfing the internet and stumbled across ...

Okay, fine, I was Googling myself. And no, I don't have a Wikipedia page. Anyway, I discovered Haunted Noble County, Indiana, which I talked about a lot last year, is up for preorder on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Other places, too. This being traditional publishing, the official cover isn't up yet, although last week I finally got a look at it.




A week after that I got an email from my publisher, letting us know Haunted Noble County, Indiana, would be officially published on August 12th of this year. They still haven't told us it's up for preorder. I mentioned it's traditionally published, right?

You can preorder it on our Amazon page, or here:


Haunted Noble County, Indiana by Mark R. Hunter; Emily Jane Hunter
(Where the heck is Books a Million?)

I think it all boils down to Arcadia Publishing, which History Press is part of, having a very good distribution system.

More information--naturally--as the year goes on, assuming there are no illnesses, injuries, or accidents.




 

 

 You can track down us or, more importantly, our books, here:

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 

 

 

 Remember: You can't judge a book by its cover until it gets a cover.


 I got an email the other day about a new book that's out:

 

Thanks for letting me know! I do know the author, but I didn't know I followed me.

Other than covering it in the newsletter, I haven't even made a public announcement that the newly rereleased The Notorious Ian Grant is out, yet. Maybe next week, if the print version is ready.

Then, the other other day, I was perusing the internet when I stumbled across this:
 


If you look closely you'll see Hoosier Hysterical is for sale used, on eBay. The print edition goes for ten bucks new; I went over to eBay and some of the used copies were priced at almost twice what they are new. I saw a "new" copy available--from Germany--for $24.88 ... PLUS shipping.

It just goes to show, you gotta shop around.

Or you could just follow our buy links:

 
 
I'm okay with our already-sold books being passed around--it's nice to gain readers. On the other hand, if you go to our links and buy new, we get a little of the money. I'm okay with that, too. (And no, I had nothing to do with any of these ads ... I mean, as far as I know.)


Facebook Wal-Mart Coming Attractions.jpg


  Some time ago, I was ghosted by one of the biggest publishers in the business.

Or maybe not. What do I know?

I submitted a romantic comedy novel to a publisher that has a name similar to one of Batman's villains. There, that won't give it away.

 

Some people differ on how author-friendly the publisher is, but ever since I started writing romance, I've wanted to write for them. That would be sometime in the early 90s. Before that I was writing science fiction and action/adventure, which I still am, and there I'm still having the same publishing luck.

But by then I had a track record of published novels. I also had a great story with a good title, "Fire On Mist Creek". Or a good story with a great title. I think it's a great title. Is it? It doesn't matter, because Harl--the publisher usually changes the name before publication, anyway.

(And they'd also change my name to a more feminine one, which I don't have a problem with. Maxine Hunter? No? Okay.)

I sent off a query letter, an outline, and the first few chapters of the story in--wait for it--2018. ("Wait for it" is practically the theme of this story.)

Just two months later, which is five hours in publishing time, an editor wrote back and requested a full manuscript! This is a Big Deal. The average traditional publisher receives so many queries that if they aren't occasionally rejected by the dump truck load, they collapse the building.

Then I heard nothing.

For years.

 

"And this is when I stopped hearing from them."

 

 

I sent a "nudge" a year later, and another one two years after that. Nudges are when desperate writers, who at this point want ANY news, gently ask for such news while groveling as much as possible. After the second nudge, I finally got a reply.

They'd lost my manuscript.

So they asked for it again, in early 2021, and I was happy to oblige. A little over a year later, I sent another nudge. And another. I don't feel like going back to count, but I sent several.

I went back to count: It was four. No one wants to annoy an editor, but I started including other people from that particular line, assistant editors and such. By the time I gave up, I'd shotgunned about six different people in my pleas, which had turned from "Like me!" into "At least put me out of my misery!"

When a writer is waiting to hear back on a book submission, the best thing they can do is work on another book. This I did, but there was a thriller-level twist: As I plotted it out, I realized it could easily fit into the Mist Creek world I'd developed. I a huge fan of series. Serieses. Seriez? Serii? Anyway, my Storm Chaser series is a series. That's why I call it a series. So I wove this one into the Mist Creek community.

Then, the next year, my wintertime depression was hitting me pretty good, so I decided to cheer myself up by writing a Christmas romance. Set in Mist Creek. So I did.

So now, with the first book having not sold, I have a series. Most romance publishers love a good series, but they prefer to approve the books individually.

By then I learned something that Harl--the publisher had done that rendered the entire question a moo point.

 

Maybe it's moot. Anyway, they had changed the requirements for that particular line. Not only did my manuscript no longer fit the description of what they wanted, but it was now 10,000 words too short. They were now also no longer accepting unagented submissions, which is what mine was.

So, I sent them--all of them--an email withdrawing my manuscript. It had been five years.

Was I ghosted? Was it some horrible mishap in which they changed their email provider and mine all got lost in the shuffle? Was it me being male, instead of female? Did I accidentally send my correspondence to a publisher in another dimension, and we'd gone out of phase?

Beats me, and boy, did I feel beaten. But, giving the benefit of the doubt, my withdrawal email was nice and polite, as I tried to keep all my emails. It pays to be nice, and maybe someday they'll answer it.

Besides ... they have other lines open for submission.




You can read our books, romantic or not, here:


·        Amazon:  
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
·        Barnes & Noble:  
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"
·        Goodreads:  
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter
·        Blog: 
https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
·        Website: 
http://www.markrhunter.com/
·        Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
·        Facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
·        Linkedin: 
https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
·        Twitter: 
https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
·        Youtube: 
https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
·        Substack:  
https://substack.com/@markrhunter
·        Tumblr:  
https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
·        Smashwords:  
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914
·        Audible:  
https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember, every time you buy a book from a local author, Big Publishing quakes in its leather-bound boots.

 

ozma914: cover of my new book! (Coming Attractions)
( Mar. 1st, 2025 08:27 pm)
  Read An E-book Week is here! While I know it's no Arbor Day, it does afford us an opportunity to ... well, read an e-book. I don't know who invents these things, but on Smashwords a free e-book sale runs from March 2nd to March 8th.

I don't know if reading a print book is banned during this period. It's not a legal holiday, so probably not. However, the advantage is that you could get a free e-book from me and a whole lot of other people, from this Smashwords link:


This is the third time in a year Smashwords has had a similar promotion, but it's never a bad time to fill up the reading device of your choice--especially if you fill it with Coming Attractions, the only book of mine that's up on Smashwords. (Other than the two anthologies I have stories in.) The link to Coming Attractions, which you can get on various formats, is here:

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914


There's still plenty of bad weather yet to come, so grab the beverage of your choice, build a nest on the couch, and read on! It's way cheaper than most other hobbies.

 

Then you can read our other books:


·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible:  https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 

Remember: When it comes to books, there's very little bad that can be said about "free".

 
  Well, it's time for a look at how I did in publishing last year or, as I like to put it, it's Black February.

Back in 2023, in an attempt to prime the pump, so to speak, I invested some money in advertising. You have to spend money to make money, the experts say.

There's a British term for what the experts say: bollocks.

Okay, maybe not fair. In 2022, including the anthologies I have short stories in, we sold 539 copies. This is give or take: Sales numbers are guarded by the publishing industry the way I guard my hoard of chocolate.

In 2023, the year of the great advertising experiment, we racked up 624 sales, again including the anthologies. Great, right? Except I also racked up great expenditures, which Emily would have stopped if I hadn't been so obsessed with the numbers that I didn't think to talk it over with her. (She found out. Boy, did she find out, and by the way our couch is very comfortable.)

 

The chair's nice, too.

 

 

Ahem. Long story short, I spent $11 for every dollar the book sales earned.

This is not a sustainable business model, except in Washington, D.C., and they have 341 million investors.

 So in 2024 I worked on reducing our advertising costs, while not reducing book sales. This didn't work. According to my calculations, I did indeed manage to reduce advertising costs by 2,180 percent, but ....

Wait a minute. That can't be right. Let me hit the calculator again.

Okay, for every five dollars I spent in 2023, I spent 3 dollars in 2024. I really need to apologize to my math teacher for telling him I'd never use this stuff. Once, around 1990, I even needed algebra. Of course, I'd forgotten it.

 On the one hand, total sales from last year were 492, down from 539 copies in 2023. On the other hand, I no long have access to sales numbers for the two anthologies. (Long story.) If the same number of those were sold in both years, our total numbers for 2024 would be 651, a slight increase. Yay?

Except I still spent more than we took in last year.

 

Business takes a lot of the fun out of writing.

 

 

Our biggest seller for 2024 was Coming Attractions, including one copy that went to Australia, and one to the UK. This is partially due to a really weird spike in sales through Amazon, which reported it was from searches using the keyword "ebooks". That makes as much sense as my math skills.

The second biggest seller was Hoosier Hysterical, including one copy that went to Germany, followed by Storm Chaser and The No-Campfire Girls. That pretty much matches the year before.

Still following the numbers? Me, neither. Here's the upshot: For every book sold, I still spent four and a half dollars. That doesn't include internet costs, or the fact that we had to buy a new laptop.

But now I've cut way down on my advertising, which so far this year led to a corresponding decrease in sales. We'll see if the release of The Notorious Ian Grant makes a difference, since we didn't put out any new product in 2024 or, as I like to call it, Year 4: Decade Of Hell.

My original plan for 2025 was to sell at least 1,000 copies. I've changed that: now the plan is to make more money then I spend. Otherwise, I might as well just be a Congressman.

 


 

You can help pad my numbers by buying our books here:

 

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

·        Audible:  https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

 

Remember: Sometimes the term “starving artist” is a little too close to literal.

 I was very curious to know what the results would be from the upcoming US Presidential election, so I borrowed a car from a friend of mine and went to check it out.


When that baby hit 88 mph, I saw some serious stuff.

First of all, I was surprised to learn of the massive grass-roots write-in campaign that led to the election of "None of the above".

It perhaps comes as no surprised that after a tie vote in the Senate, Senate President Kamala Harris cast the deciding vote to deny the results, her reasoning being that None Of the Above is not a real person. That led to a surprising challenge from California, by a person who, in 2005, did indeed have their name changed legally from Karma Applebutter to None Of the Above.

None--if I can call them that--lost their case after it was discovered they were born to Swedish parents during an airplane trip from London to Dubai to protest climate change. For those of you who haven't read it, that made them Constitutionally unable to run for the highest office. The same held true for their VP candidate, Toker Guitarsolo, although they claimed to have at least been conceived during a northern California wine tasting event.

 This left the election winner as the second biggest vote getter, which was another surprise because, it turns out, no one had actually checked to see who the second biggest vote getter was.

Vice President Harris again cast the deciding vote in the Senate, contending that, while having a tiger as a Vice President would be kind of cool and useful for dealing with dictatorships, Calvin and Hobbes technically are not real people.

 


 

 

This came as a great disappointment, and in the years since has generally been recognized as a great opportunity lost.

A movement to repeat the election collapsed when Donald Trump and Joe Biden announced they were leaving politics to become standup comedians. Their HBO special, "The Joe and Don Comedy Tour" broke viewership records and won three Emmy Awards.

In the end Kamala Harris was certified as winning the election by narrow margins in both the popular and electoral vote, after serving as temporary President until the recount was finished in early 2026. The last of the legal challenges was thrown out of the 9th Circuit Court just after Harris finished her second term in 2039. The attorneys pushing that lawsuit disappeared shortly thereafter.

"Oh, a sanity clause won't work here."

 

Harris' suspension of the Constitutional to allow her to serve longer is hardly surprising, considering the outbreak of the Second Civil War in 2029. The conflict, between one side that called itself the United States and another that called itself the United States, ended quickly when the side nicknamed "The Coast States" discovered that their opponents in "The Middle" did indeed have a lot more guns and ammunition. The US Military, busy in other countries, declared itself neutral.

Presidents Harris and Vance then held a productive meeting in which The Coast agreed to stop making reality TV shows. The Middle promised to keep sending food to the cities, whose populations had never been entirely clear on where most food came from.

The citizens of Chicago later tried to secede and join Canada, but Canadian Prime Minister Justin Beiber refused, saying Chicago was "too mean".

 So, there you have it. As I predicted last week, Kamala Harris will be declared the next President. Hold your noses and vote, people.


 

Remember, folks: Humor. Parody. Stuff like that. While I still believe Harris will be declared winner, I can't confirm or deny that I have a time machine.




We and our books can be found ... everywhere:

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

 


Remember: Lots of great books are NOT about politics.


 I won't have time to do my regular blog again this weekend, but fear not! Instead I'm linking you to a fun, photo filled monthly newsletter.

Well, there are photos, anyway.

But the thing that may interest you the most is that, in the newsletter, I included the book blurb for Haunted Noble County, Indiana. The publisher has officially given the book that name, by the way. They haven't approved the blurb yet, but it isn't likely to be much different from what you'll see here:

https://mailchi.mp/11840c2e73a9/vacation-time-to-not-get-away

I also talk a little about our vacation, which was generally uneventful, and one of the larger fires in the history of Noble County (Indiana), which was generally very eventful. Sign up for the newsletter! It only goes out once a month unless there's Big News, and it's free. Also, no cost.

If the smoke rises high enough to form a mushroom cloud visible 40 miles away, it's a big fire.



We and our books can be found ... everywhere:


Remember: Not reading books is--spooky.

So, here's why I haven't read many books so far this year: Because I've read fifteen volumes of Schlock Mercenary, a web comic turned graphic novel. Did I like it? Well, I'm on my fifteenth volume, so there you go.

In the very first strip Schlock joins, as you might expect, a group of space mercenaries called Tagon's Toughs. To paraphrase the old A-Team opening, if you've got the money--and if you can find them--you can hire Captain Kaff Tagon's army-for profit. But you won't have any trouble finding them, because they leave disaster in their wake.

 


 Schlock, one of the few known carbosilicate amorphs in the galaxy, looks like nothing so much as a big pile of poo, and is very close to indestructible. He approaches his job with glee and loves nothing so much as dismantling anything and anyone he gets aimed at. When bad guys stand in his way, they usually end up blasted or eaten.

 

Meanwhile, the rest of Tagon's Toughs range from humans, to aliens of every type, to Earth animals who gained sentience. The company's biggest antagonists are also its biggest allies: Artificial Intelligences running ships and worlds, which communicate through avatars that mostly look like humans (although one resembles a super-cute koala).

Writer and artist Howard Taylor covers modern problems ranging from politicians to nanobots, using parody, satire, and just plain laugh-out-loud humor to deal with a violent universe that's always on the edge of blowing up--sometimes literally.

 

 
 

 

Taylor himself admits to being weak on the artistic side when he first started out. But the art gets better, and the writing is on the money right from the get-go. He happily tackles just about every science fiction concept ever invented, hard and soft, and as the series goes on the challenges and players get bigger and bigger. Taylor's not afraid to kill off characters, and those that eventually come back do so in a convincing way--or at least, a way that may be possible in the future. It's clear the author has a good grasp on technology, even if he happily strays from known science for a story or a laugh.

Meanwhile--and this might be the most surprising part of Schlock Mercenary--Taylor gives us relatable, engaging characters along with the well-plotted stories. As the scale gets bigger and bigger, the characters change and grow and, as mentioned earlier, the art gets better.

Check out the strip or order the books here:

https://www.schlockmercenary.com/

You can click on "Schlock Mercenary Begins", which will take you to a redone version of the first strip, and below that is a link to the original strip. Did I mention the art gets better? It does.

 


 And my stuff is here:

 

 Remember: Reading keeps you from turning into a big pile of poo.

 

 At long last I can finally announce that we're finished with Haunted Noble County, Indiana!

I mean, of course, until I get edits back from the publisher. Emily finished her go-through, correcting all my small mistakes and showing me the big mistakes to correct. By the time you read this, our editor at The History Press will be shaking his head and muttering, "You had a whole year, and couldn't clean it up better than this?"

Well, I hope that's not what he's saying.

This is the longest it's ever taken me to write a book, with the exception of Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights. In both cases that includes long delays in which nothing got done at all. Not my fault! Mostly.

Then there were the pictures. We planned on about thirty, most taken by Emily and me; we turned in fifty.

Photography wasn't all that easy when John A. Harkless was doing it.

 

That's the tombstone of John A. Harkless, a photographer who should get his own credit in the book. For this book and for Images of America: Albion and Noble County, we depended on several local sources for historical photos. But most of the older photos, at least from the Albion area, originated with Harkless.

It wasn't unusual for us to find the same photo in more than one collection--sometimes from four or five sources. In that case, we credited the first place we found it. Often that was the Noble County Historical Society (which operates the Old Jail Museum), or the collections of Mike Mapes and Grace Leatherman, or the Stone's Trace Historical Society.

The funny thing is that Haunted Noble County, Indiana isn't an historical book, really. It's supposed to be about ghosts and haunted places, and that means places that are haunted today, doesn't it? But I love to research, and I love history. Whenever we encountered a local ghost story I couldn't help thinking: What events let to a spirit hanging around? How long have they been there? What was the place like when they were alive?

We found this photo of the Wolf Lake Onion Parade in three places, although first through the Noble County Historical Society.

Well, if you love researching, and you get a chance to research, what happens? That's right: rabbit hole. A lot of rabbit holes.

It's not the only thing that delayed the project, of course. I've mentioned before our visit from COVID, which overstayed its welcome. We got so delayed that when I finally saw the finish line, I realized I had to make a dash to reach it. Or, to put it another way, the deadline was approaching like Godzilla on a bender.

This photo was in Mike Mapes' massive collection. (Just to clarify, none of the photos in this blog are in the book--they're just examples of what great history people have preserved.)

So once again--I said the same thing in May--sorry to anyone I didn't reconnect with before it was too late. Also, thank you to those I did connect with, and there were many, and thank you again for all those history buffs who helped lead me down those various rabbit holes. Sometimes I ended up in areas that didn't add to this project, but that doesn't mean they weren't fun.

 

The Stone's Trace Historical Society had this photo of downtown Ligonier.

 

 

And when will the results of our hard work be revealed to the world? Well ... I did mention that we missed deadlines, right? Our editor was very understanding, but the world of traditional publishing plods on like an old plow horse, and I wouldn't expect to see it before the spring of 2025--maybe later. I'll keep you updated.


 

 

Remember: Every time you read a book, an ancestor smiles in their grave. Which is actually kind of scary.

 I used to be a submitting machine ... but now I'm tired.

If a writer wants to be traditionally published, they must submit. Their short stories, novels, non-fiction books, must go out to those publications that accept un-agented submissions, or they must go through literary agents for the other publications. (Independent publishing is a different animal, which some writers swear by to bypass traditional gatekeepers.)

I have an Excel file I've used to track my submissions since 2009. (!) It has 418 entries. Some of those resulted in request for further materials, such as a synopsis and opening chapter that led to an agent wanting to read the entire manuscript. A very few led to publication.

In 2022 I submitted to magazines, agents, and book publishers 77 times. In 2023 I only made 45 submissions, and so far in 2024--zero.

What went wrong?

 

There are always distractions. This distraction lives next door, and likes to have her belly rubbed.

 

 

What went wrong is what went right: I got a "yes", and was contracted to write a book. It took me a year, during which time I was too busy to worry about my other projects. Now it's time to play catch up.

That stranded a lot of material, just waiting to go back into the wild, cruel publishing world. On the other hand, I have the advantage of considering most of it fair game again: If no one I submitted to has expressed interest for over a year, chances are pretty good I can move on. That includes, sadly, a couple of exciting requests for fulls.

So I have six completed short stories ready to go out. I'll probably polish them, and everything else, one more time before submitting, since they've grown "cold" and I can look at them with a more objective eye.

 

I'd really like to see all this done before I grow cold.

 

 

I have six completed novel manuscripts, and two more that need revisions before they're ready. Oh, and a novella: a Storm Chaser prequel that promises to be a lot of fun.

I have two books, one fiction and one non-fiction, that I started on and need to finish.

Then there's my sudden realization the other day that the nation's 250th anniversary is coming up in just a couple of years, and that might present the perfect opportunity for a Hoosier Hysterical sequel.

 

I'm thinking "Hoosier Hysterical II: Hoosier Hystericaller". No?

 

 

This is why sometimes it frustrates me that I could have retired from my full time job two years ago, but can't afford to. Imagine what progress I could make if I sold enough books to write full time!

Well, I guess that's what promotion and publicity are for. They're next on the list.

 

Remember: Every time you buy a book, you encourage an author to write another one. Enable those poor people.

 

Never mind how much a book is worth to you; how much is an author worth to you?

After all, a book is only a shaving off a tree, or a little blip of electricity. An author, on the other hand, is a living being who needs not only reviews and sales, but also coffee (or in my case tea), food, electricity, and occasionally a new laptop. My wife bought me a keyboard that feels and sounds just like a typewriter: It brings me great joy, but also cost about a month's worth of book sales.

Not that it was expensive, I just don't sell that many books.

Desks, computers, chairs, swords ... writing can be expensive.

 

How much a reader should pay for a book is a question that's been debated since Gutenberg bought too much ink and ran his first Black Friday sale. Among other things, it depends on your level of fame. The ebook edition of Stephen King's newest book is priced at $14.99, more than some of my print books. Our traditional publisher has our photo-heavy history book Images of America: Albion and Noble County priced at $12.99 as an ebook, and another publisher has my romantic comedy Radio Red at $3.99.

Guess how many books King sells, compared to me? Yep: The answer is "lots".

We do better with our self-published books, which run from 99 cents to $2.99 as ebooks. Fun fact: Some readers refuse to buy 99 cent books, assuming at that price they can't be any good. This assumption is both foolish and wrong. I suspect that price is often an act of desperation by good writers.

On the other end of it, Hoosier Hysterical has lots of pictures, and we can't sell it at less than $2.99 without losing money. That's the best we can do without just giving it away. Hold that thought.

No matter what the price, it's hard for lesser known authors to get into brick and mortar stores.

 

So, ten or twelve bucks for an electronic book. Crazy expensive, right? I mean, we don't have to pay for paper, ink, shipping ... how greedy can we be?

But how much is an author worth?

Three times I've written the rough draft of a book in thirty days. That's great, but it took a few weeks to prepare for the writing, then a month or two after to revise it before the story was decent enough for my wife to read. Then there's the revision after she returns it to me. The month of actual writing, when I push it hard, consists of working my full time job, writing, eating while writing, and nothing else. Some people can get books out the door faster, but I have to think they don't have full time jobs.

The old joke: An author can't make enough money to write full time until he's written and sold enough books, which he can't do until he writes full time.

So it goes.

So, a dollar for something it took me at least three months to produce, not including all the time spent on promotion and advertising? Writers are worth more than that. Even me.

Which brings us to giving books away for free.


Some authors swear that giving their ebooks away gets them so much attention that people come back and buy their other books, thus advancing their career in the long run. That seems to work for them, but it's not been my experience. Just the same, every July for the last few years I've entered the one novel I have up on Smashwords, Coming Attractions, into the Smashwords Summer/Winter sale.

Has it resulted in more readers for the other books? Not that I've noticed. It doesn't even lead to that many readers picking it up for free. Smashwords has a lot of authors, so my deal has to fight for attention with all those other deals. On the other hand, my sales aren't great in July to begin with, and it doesn't seem to be doing me any harm, either.

I'm curious how you, both the reader and the writer, feel on the subject. Maybe I'll try other giveaways at some point, even though I don't think authors should have to do that. I also don't think authors should have to spend so much time promoting and advertising, but welcome to the real world. How do you feel on the subject?

Oh, and Coming Attractions is free here:

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

But you already knew that.

 

Summer themed. Well, kinda.

 

 

Remember: Every time you get a book for free, it counts as a free book.



From July 1s until July 31st we're once again participating in the Smashwords Summer/Winter sale!

Because it's summer up here and winter down under, you see. I'd imagine it made sense at the time. And let's face it: For most people, July is either too hot or too cold to go out anyway, so you might as well read a good book.

Since Coming Attractions is a romantic comedy set, yes, during summer, you can read it, then tell people you've experienced summer. You don't have to be specific. Oh, and it's Indiana summer, not Australia summer. If you live in southern Chile, you can read it to get your mind off winter.


 
Coming Attractions is the only one of our books that's Smashwords affiliated at the moment. I'm happy when someone buys a print copy, but in July you can get it on e-book for free, which is almost a dollar less than its normal 99 cent cost.
 
I do math. I do, too.
 
The catch: It's part of the Smashwords promotion, which means, let's face it, that you have to get it on Smashwords. But that can be on epub, mobi, and pdf formats, or as an original document. It should be readable to anyone with an e-reader, cell phone, or computer. (Due to recent air quality problems, Smashwords has canceled their smoke signal program.)
 
All the participating authors can be found here: https://www.smashwords.com/shelves/promos
 starting July 1st. If you want to go directly to my account, it's at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914. There you'll also find the two fiction anthologies I have stories in, also at the attractive cost of zero.
 
It's the ultimate beach read! Don't get water on it.
 

This is indie author territory, and indie authors could always use the help (and reviews!) So please, check it out and share the promo with your friends and family, and anyone looking for their next favorite book.

 Happy reading!
 
 


 
 
As usual, all our books can be found at:

Remember: Remember, every time you buy a book, a cash register gets its rings. But not this time.




 Well, I finally finished the first draft of Haunted Noble County, Indiana, which is all well and good, but would be better if the whole thing was done.

Especially after a year. A whole year.

I love researching, and I love history. I'm not a big fan of doing interviews, being what they used to call shy, and then antisocial, and now call introverted. (I'm sure there are differences between the three, but I don't like asking people.) Still, the interviewing hasn't taken as long as I thought, and the researching has taken way longer, so I can't complain.

What I can complain about are the numerous delays in the project that had nothing to do with the project. Don't get me started on Covid.

This is the face of Covid. It's pretty much the same as my tired face, except with a fever.

 

 

Anyway, my goal was to be finished by April, and it's now June. I still haven't added photos, or even captioned the photos. I don't have the project finished enough for Emily to go through and show me all the mistakes I've made. I haven't heard back from some of the people I reached out to, which is understandable because they probably haven't heard back from me since August of last year.

As a result, sadly, once again, I have no one to blame but myself. And Covid. Hey, the Chinese planned this whole pandemic to delay my writing career!

No? No, I guess not.

History! Photographed by John A. Harkless, who was responsible for many now-historical Albion photos.

This is the part where I apologize to everyone--and yes, I mean you--who I may have forgotten to get back in touch with in the past year. If anyone reads this who had a story, photograph or other information for me and may have gotten lost along the way, please contact me here, or on the book of faces, or wherever discerning patrons of history may haunt. Yes, I am trying to wrap it up, but there's still time to throw in more information.

On a related note, for anyone I have talked to, please let me know if it's okay to use your name in the book (if you haven't already said). If I made contact with someone but didn't get consent to use their name, they'll go down in Noble County history as "anonymous". After that, if you sign anything you have to remember how to spell anonymous, and no one wants that.

Finally, yes, the project has been pushed back, almost certainly until next year. The traditional publishing industry is a lot of things, some good and some bad, but above all else the wheels grind slowly.

The original Ligonier City Jail. Very cool, especially if you got stuck there during winter.


Remember: Ghost are always looking for new books to read over your shoulder.

 

Book reviews are incredibly important to authors. They give a sense of legitimacy, serve as free advertising, guide other readers to their works, and give them a better chance to have their story visible on certain book seller sites. Storm Chaser, for instance, had 28 ratings and 15 written reviews on Goodreads.

But since being re-released, Storm Chaser is down to only 7 ratings and 3 written reviews on Amazon, which is why I begged people who previously reviewed it to post their reviews again. From what I've heard, about 50 reviews are needed to trigger Amazon's mystical logarithms and increase traffic to your book.

(Plus it just got its first bad review, which dropped the average rating considerably.)

 

"If each of these came with a review, I'd have ... well, more reviews!"

 

 

It's hardly surprising, then, that some people resort to paying for reviews. If everyone who read a book would review it--even just pop in with an "I liked it"--it would be no problem, but most readers don't take the time. It's easy, on the other hand, to find people willing to review your book in exchange for money.

Unethical, maybe illegal in some cases, but easy.

Not only is it considered a form of cheating, but it would violate the terms of service for the big book seller site, Amazon. You do not want to be kicked off Amazon.

Some people even consider it in poor form to ask for free reviews, but most authors do it. They're not thrilled about it, any more than they're thrilled about doing promotion and publicity, but with over two million new books coming out every year, it's hard to avoid getting desperate.

 

 

Does this screenshot from a TV interview count as promotion? Yes. Yes, it does.

 

 

 When a group of people get desperate ... the scammers come out.

Awhile back I got this e-mail from "German W. Woo":

 

As of this writing, I am the only person offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon. If you are looking for more reviews for your book, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Freebie seekers can kiss my a** and lick it wet before I consider offering them a free review. In short, if you don't have money to spend, don't contact me and waste my time; rather, keep begging and struggling for reviews on Goodreads and Facebook as usual!


Goodness. Someone took their nasty pills. A day later I got this e-mail, from "Allison S. Cummins":


As of this writing, I am the only person offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon. If you are looking for more reviews for your book, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Friendly note to: Review beggars - Either have some respect for yourself and your book and learn to value and PAY for the time of reviewers as well, or please take a walk. We haven't opened a charity foundation here; this is a FOR-PROFIT business! I am sure you don't work for free in your professional life, so don't expect anyone else to work for free for you either!


Wait ... what's wrong with this picture? Let's take a look at another e-mail, from "Marion J. Jenkins":


As of this writing, I am the only person offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon. If you are looking for more reviews for your book, please don't hesitate to contact me. Don't want these emails? Then FU*K OFF from Goodreads and Facebook.


Not exactly friendly customer service. But wait ... each of them are the only people offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon? I thought anyone could post an Amazon review. Now here are three only ones. Shouldn't there only be one ... only one?

 

 

 

Also, aren't they being just a bit rude, for someone supposedly offering a service? They're not the government. Are they?

Well, scammers gotta scam, a**holes gotta ... um ... a**. It didn't concern me all that much until I got this message on my Goodreads account:

 

Mark, SWINE HOPE YOUR FAMILY DIES THIS NEW YEAR AND SALES OF YOUR PATHETIC BOOK BECOMES ZERO. BUY BOOK REVIEWS OR GET OUT OF GOODREADS ASAP. IF YOU DON'T, I WILL TELL ALL OF MY FRIENDS TO BUY AND REFUND YOUR BOOK ON AMAZON SO YOUR SALES RANK TANKS. YOU CAN'T PROMOTE YOUR BOOKS HERE WITHOUT PAYING ME. WE KNOW YOUR ADDRESS TOO -WILL SEND CRIMINALS AND THIEVES THERE SO YOUR NEW YEAR CELEBRATION IS SPOILED HAHA

 

 That was from Grace, who yelled the same message 39 times. I doubt very much that she has friends. Also, aren't thieves automatically criminals, except in Congress? Ironically, scammers don't seem to edit their threats. They also didn't count the number of guns (not to mention swords) in my house.

Wendall sent this one five times:


WE HAVE A COPY OF Hoosier Hysterical, WHICH WE WILL UPLOAD TO TPB, readfrom.net AND OTHER PIRATE SITES, IF YOU KEEP ON SPAMMING OUR GOODREADS SITE. ONLY WAY TO STOP US IS TO STOP ASKING FOR BOOK REVIEWS HERE PERMANENTLY. QUIT SPAMMING THIS SITE IF WE DON'T WANT US TO TAKE AFORESAID ACTIONS; YOUR LAWS CAN'T HARM US. DECIDE FAST


My first reaction was, "Yay, they bought a copy of Hoosier Hysterical!" My second was to laugh at someone who sent the same five messages, accusing me of spamming them.

So I decided fast, and my decision was f**k you.

I will not pay anyone for book reviews, let alone scumbag spammers like this. The closest I'll ever come to it is giving out advanced review copies, which is an accepted practice--but no money will go from me toward a review. Especially to an idiot.

 If you support my decision ... then please. leave a book review.

 

Remember these guys? It's the Santa Mafia, and they're watching you.



 

Remember: Every book review is like Heavenly music sprinkled with chocolate.

 


 
     
   
           
                               

 

 I want to apologize again for how slow I've been with the Haunted Noble County, Indiana  project. I've collected most of the photos and written half the manuscript, but haven't been getting back to people about their individual tales as I should.

It's the same old story, to an extent: injuries, sickness, death, Covid, chores I couldn't put off. Basically everything except writer's block, and at least that hasn't been a problem. In addition, I hadn't anticipated how much time all the research would take. I've done this before, with Images of America: Albion and Noble County. But while history research gets time consuming, extra digging is required when it comes to the supernatural.

Not literally. Well, not usually.

 

There's also the fact that I'm an introvert, or suffer from social anxiety, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. Among other things, I hate talking on the phone. Do you know what I do for a living?


 

Yeah, I talk on the phone and radio for 12 hours a day. For thirty years.

I know what you're thinking: Why does someone who hates talking do it for a living?

It's because I used to work in factories, and also in the service industry. That's why.

I get off my night shift not only tired, but seriously stressed (which is not uncommon for dispatchers, overall). The last thing I want to do is talk on the phone, or be otherwise social. Between that and my weird schedule, I have real difficulty picking up the phone.

That's the long winded reason why I'm so far behind in calling people about this project. It's also why I much prefer talking about it by e-mail or messenger, and have difficulty finding a time to talk when either I or the other person isn't asleep.

So ... I'm sorry. My deadline is looming, so I'm back on the horse and working, and I will call the people I promised to. I hope the rest of you will contact me online, especially if I forgot about you, which after so many months is possible. I want to make this as good a book as I can, but man--it's been a slog. And that's not the fault of the material!

 


 

It's possible I won't have time to track down all the details, or include all the stories, especially if the details are nebulous. I mean, the photo above is pretty spooky, but there's no actual supernatural event behind it! But I'll do my best.

 


 

Remember: Keep plenty of books around for ghosts to throw off the shelves.

Four of our books are finally up as audiobooks! Do you hear me?

I know what you're thinking: "But Mark, you can't afford to engineer an audiobook!"

What's that? You're actually thinking, "I wonder if white socks have to be dyed, or if colored socks have to be bleached?" Fine. But just the same, they're up on that audiobook powerhouse, Audible.com.

https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter

The books, not the socks. I guess the socks would be in the category of Sole Music.

Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing, in one of those cases of "We should have seen it coming", is offering authors a chance to use Virtual Voice to make their works into audiobooks. I was contacted to beta the service, as was, I suspect, every other writer on Amazon. But audiobooks have become a big thing, and I can't afford a service, or the equipment and time to do it myself.

The first one I tried was Storm Chaser. I found the process easy, and the voice acceptable. It is a virtual voice; the term "virtual" has become a dirty word among artists, but this one isn't stealing from someone to make something. Anyone interested in trying it should read a sample first, to see if they're okay with the voice.

https://www.amazon.com/Audible-Storm-Chaser/dp/B0CYB9RHFS

Pay no attention to the voice behind that book!

The second I converted was The No-Campfire Girls. Since the book is almost entirely from the POV of a teenage girl, I chose a female narrator for that one. The price I used for all four books is $3.99, which is low for an audiobook but within reason. Amazon's "free" service gets a cut of that, of course.

https://www.amazon.com/Audible-the-No-Campfire-Girls/dp/B0CY9TVJKC

 

Seriously, there's no one there. You're imaging those legs.

The other two are my straight humor books, Slightly Off the Mark and More Slightly Off the Mark. (This is as opposed to books like Hoosier Hysterical, which are a mix of humor and other things. But they're still funny. Trust me.)

https://www.amazon.com/Slightly-off-Mark-Unpublished-collected/dp/B0CYP4SR1J

 

 

https://www.amazon.com/More-Slightly-off-Mark-reconditioned/dp/B0CY7WWQPK

I'd love for these books to get popular enough to generate a series--I have lots of columns to go.

It was only, oh, this week that I found out Audible is now an Amazon owned service, so ... yay!

Of our other books, some I can't get converted to audio right now due to technical problems, which we're working on. Some I just don't think would work as audiobooks. Images of America: Albion and Noble County is a photo-heavy book, and I'm not sure I could do this without permission of its traditional publisher, anyway. Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights is a toss-up, but being a local history book on a niche subject, I'm not sure there's any point in trying.

Listen to a sample and let me know what you think. If it works, it's a great chance to expand our audience. If it doesn't ... well, all it took was a little time out of my life when I would have been watching "Resident Alien".

 

 

Remember: If you're going to hear voices, it's better to know where they're coming from.



 

An interesting thing about the publishing industry is that it takes great pains to make sure an author never knows how many books he's selling.

Meanwhile, at certain points in the process, that's the only thing authors want to know.

Actually, the traditional publishers I've worked with have been good about giving me sales reports--every three or six months. But it can be hard to read their reports, in the same way it can be hard for the janitor at a college to understand a blackboard full of physics equations. Well, maybe they can sometimes. A better example would be someone giving me the full schematics on how to wire an electrical system into a house, then expecting me to actually do it.

"Gee, he seemed smart enough to manage. I'm gonna miss him."

When it comes to places that sell your work, such as Barnes and Noble or the elephant in the room, Amazon ... good luck. Most of my books are independently published, so there is no publisher trying to keep track of my sales. You'd think the bookselling websites would do that, but ... well, you'd think more people would read, too.

 

Maybe I could sell them like donuts. "I'll take a white one, and a blue one, and ...."

 

 

I'm telling you all this to explain why, while I've come up with an estimate of my 2023 sales, I have no idea how accurate it is.

Fairly accurate. I think. Within reason.

So, in 2023 we sold 624 books. I think. 482 were e-books, and 142 were print copies. (In 2022 I actually sold a hardcover copy of Images of America: Albion and Noble County. I mention that because, before then, I didn't think you even could buy hardcover copies of our books.)

Our 2022 total was 539 sales, so we're up by 85 books. It's a good number, considering we haven't done an author appearance since the beginning of Covid. Now that I've actually had Covid, I'm not thrilled about going out into crowds in the immediate future, either.

Our best sellers:

151 copies of Coming Attractions.

145 copies of Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving At All.

104 copies of Storm Chaser (which was re-released with some fanfare early in the year).

51 copies of The No-Campfire Girls.

The other books were, shall we say, not great sellers. All sold at least a few copies except for Slightly Off the Mark: The Unpublished Columns, which has the disadvantages of having been out for several years, and of being a humor book by someone who isn't already famous.

 

 

"Dude, these are stale."
 

 

 

Still, good money, right?

Well ...

I also experimented with advertising all last year. Online ads did indeed increase our sales, but they didn't lead to a profit. For every dollar in gross sales we made, I spent about two dollars. ("I" because Emily wasn't involved in that pile of commercial misfortune.)

But wait--there's more. Depending on how they were published and where they were bought, our profit was between 60% and 6% of each book sold. The 60% ones were the books Emily slaved and sweated over.

Do that math, and for every dollar we made, I spent five dollars in advertising and promotion.

This is fine for a hobby. I could collect toy trains, or fix up antiques, or bend my elbow at the bar every night, for a similar amount of money. It is not, however, what anyone would call a sustainable business model. It's more like trying to sell your product by screaming out the brand name as you leap off a cliff.

 

"Losing the house is no big deal, I can write in the car."

 

 

So, I have two goals when it comes to selling books in 2024. One is to sell a thousand copies of our various books in the space of one year. There are a couple of years when I may have done that, but I'm too lazy to go back and do more math--I'd rather think of it as a new obtainable goal.

My second goal is to do that while making more money than we spend. I don't know ... maybe my goal should be to sell the same number as last year, but without taking a loss. Many authors manage to do this.

Not many manage to make a living at it, but if I wanted an easy job I'd be a physics professor.

Remember: Every time you buy a book, an author can buy a cup of coffee to keep him awake while he's writing his next book.

 Good riddance, 2023. To paraphrase "True Grit", "the love of decency does not abide in you".

The problem is, I said the same thing at the end of 2022.

That being the case, I no longer make noises about the next year being better than the last one. 2023 started out with losing a nephew, paused in the middle for the death of our dog, and ended with my wife and I both down with Covid. Those are just the highlights. We also had to replace our car, and oh, yeah--our microwave caught fire. Again. (It was just smoke.)

Then there was the sinus surgery which, it turns out, doesn't prevent Covid. Emily had to face the death of one of the horses she worked with. We didn't get a new book out in 2023, and had to push back the deadline on the one we're working on. Oh, and I had a biopsy on my TONGUE.

 

 

Surgery or virus? You decide.
 

 

Could 2024 be worse than that?

Yes. Yes, it could. I mean, it's an election year, so there's that all by itself.

This year a third of the people are going to pick a candidate to fight a different third of the people who the first third hate, and the second third is going to pick someone who they hope will be horrible to the first third, while the middle third do their best to ignore all of this, even though they're the ones who'll suffer the most.

It's politics as written by Joseph Heller. We'll call it "Catch 24".

(Hey, I just had an idea for a new novel!)

There's not much we can do about a lot of this, including the elections, once the graveyard votes are counted. So what are we to do about the world's current state of affairs?

Laugh.

That's right, you heard me. Laugh, even if it scares people.

 

Now, that's scary.

 I'm going to make an extra effort in 2024 to make people laugh. I'm not going to guarantee health, or that my appliances will keep working, or that Congress will start acting responsibly. (See, that last made me giggle right there.) I'm fairly certain at this point that the Presidential election will be a farce regardless of who wins, so why not poke fun at it, too? Maybe, with luck, in the coming year I'll have another exploding lawn mower to talk about.

 

Okay, I don't want to go that far. Again.

But laughter often is the best medicine, at least for your brain, and I'm going to work on turning it into an epidemic. The laughter, I mean. Because we can't change a lot of bad things with the exception of politics, so we might as well feel better about them.

Maybe we'll even sell more copies of our humor books.

Okay, let's not expect too much. After all, it's still the 2020s.

 

 




 


 

 

Remember, it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, and we're all tired.

 

 

 


 

ozma914: (Dorothy and the Wizard)
( Nov. 24th, 2023 06:36 pm)

 It's a rough time to find things to be thankful for. Oh, they're there: family, health ... okay, family. But our society today is geared toward stressing the bad, and taking the good for granted. It's human nature to complain; most of us do it. Right now, someone is complaining because I just used a semicolon. But I have a wife who gets me, grand-kids, a case of Mountain Dew in the kitchen, and I'm pretty sure there's chocolate around here, somewhere.

And my writing, which at various times in my life is the only thing that kept me sane. The following is an update to a blog I wrote way back in 2015. I wanted to let you know that in case anyone remembered it ... although it seems unlikely, after eight years of what the last eight years have been like.


On this Thanksgiving (this is Thanksgiving weekend, by the way, but all you turkeys already know that), I’d like to say how thankful I am for my dislike of self-promotion.
I’ve spent a lot of time writing press releases, blogging, signing books, and basically bragging about how I’m such a good writer that you should spend your time and money on me. It’s not in my nature. But then, neither is working, and I have to do that, too.
My first book came out in 2011. Now I have eleven published, with my name in three others, and a handful of published short stories.
 When I first queried a publisher for a book length project I was eighteen—that was five years after my first "finished" novel. Please don't do the math on this, but it took me over thirty years to get a novel published.
But I did get published, and that’s something to be thankful for (among many other things). I may be struggling to make more sales, but I’m published—and a lot of writers don't make it that far. To show how thankful I am … I’m going to work hard to get more published. An unpublished book or short story should never rest on a writer’s desk (or hard drive) for long.
And I'm going to keep up my efforts to spread the word about our books (let's face it, half of them would never have been published without Emily. More than half.) For me, that's way more work than the actual writing.
But I'm thankful to be doing it.

 

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/f4/96/b8/f496b80c089f9c153efeac1b1a475620.jpg



Remember to be thankful ... and also to read something fun.

 

.

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