Slightly Off the Mark

 One danger of watching "Deadpool and Wolverine" in the theaters is that you never know what was spilled on that floor you're rolling around on.

And I don't mean you'll be making out with someone because the movie's boring, either. No, "Deadpool and Wolverine" is exactly what it's advertised to be: Profane, fast-paced, irreverent, hilarious, and ... oh, yeah. Emotional.

That's the trick Ryan Reynolds and company manage to pull off. Deadpool speaks directly to the audience, talks about being in a movie, makes fun of Marvel and Disney, and just generally breaks all the rules. Then he grabs you by the feels and pulls you in until you actually care about this guy, despite the fact that you both know he's only a character.

Wade Wilson has left his super anti-hero days behind him and sells cars, badly, after a failed attempt to join the Avengers. But he's pulled back into his old life when he discovers his entire universe is going to end because of the loss of its anchor hero, Wolverine, who died during the events of "Logan". (Hey, it been out way too long for that to be a spoiler.)

That sends Wade on a multiverse-spanning search for another Logan to bring back, an attempt that treats us to several different Wolverines until Wade finds one that may work. Unfortunately, it's the worst Wolverine in all the universes. Together they set out on a blood splattered journey across timelines, encountering familiar help and villains along the way.

Yes, it has a plot. But just putting Reynolds and Hugh Jackman in a room together would generate plenty of fun for two hours, all by itself. They're clearly having a blast here, and yet, as mentioned earlier, they also generate plenty of pathos and suspense. After all, there are millions of universes, and Deadpool's isn't even the main Marvel one. There's nothing to say it will survive the fight.

I'm not sure there's any way to communicate just how much fun "Deadpool and Wolverine" is. It helps to know something of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (especially the TV series Loki). It also helps to be a fan of the comics, although its not necessary. Most of the main points we hit along the way are familiar to even those with only a passing knowledge of the MCU, for the same reason someone who's never seen Star Wars can spout off a dozen catchphrases and the basic plot.

Just the same, the sheer number of cameos, references, and background clues will bring squeals of glee from comic fans, even as non-comic fans enjoy the fast pace and no holds barred banter. Oh, and the stabbing. Lots and lots of stabbing. Did I mentioned the movie's rated R? Do NOT take your kids to see it.

But take yourself to see it. If you have half as much fun as Reynolds and Jackman clearly did, it'll be a good day.

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Remember: Books can be just as much fun as Deadpool, without having to clean up the blood.

 It's been such a crazy month I was just going to throw out one of my pre-written blogs. (I save up, just as I did with my newspaper column, in case of crazy months.) But instead here are a few quick things for whoever might happen to be reading blogs in the middle of summer.

Emily and I have only gone out to the movies twice this year, most recently to see Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny.

Yes, Harrison Ford gets the CGI treatment for a flashback; yes, it's really well done; no, it's not distracting unless you make it be. Yes, there are Nazis and time travel, although they don't combine in the way I expected. Yes, you can tell Ford is too old for this crap in "modern" times, which in this case is 1969; in fact, they hang a lantern on it more than once.

Jones has come across hard times due to a family tragedy. He's retiring from a teaching job in a small New York college (Hunter College, no relation), and doesn't have much to look forward until his goddaughter shows up, looking for a piece of ancient tech made by the Greek inventor Archimedes himself. Unfortunately, a whole bunch of people with guns are right on her heels.

And that's all I'll say about the plot, other than that, like any good Indiana Jones movie, there's a macguffin, and the Nazis want it. We get great action sequences, exotic locations, callbacks to earlier movies, and cameos from some favorite characters. It also gets murky from time to time, both in plot and when the action is a little too fast and/or a little too dark.

Is it worth a movie ticket? Yes. I'd put it as the third best Indiana Jones movie, after the original and the other one with Nazis.

 Meanwhile the apparently last Guardians of the Galaxy movie also came out, and was awesome on the big screen. (Okay, so that picture's from a previous one.) But be warned: It gets dark, mostly because it includes the origin story of Rocket Raccoon, and it is NOT a fun origin story.

I won't go into detail, because it's been out long enough now that you've probably either seen it or decided not to, but it's one of the better Marvel movies of recent years and well worth seeing in the theater. You might tear up once or twice, though, so bring a tissue or wait until it's on video.

Otherwise I just have my usual stuff. Coming Attractions remains a free ebook on Smashwords until the end of the month:

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The new versions of Storm Chaser and Storm Squalls are on Amazon, and hopefully other locations soon:

https://www.amazon.com/stores/Mark-R-Hunter/author/B0058CL6OO

 That author interview is still up on a Canvas Rebel:

And I miss the dog. Here's hoping Canada gets rain--but not too much--and the rest of summer goes more smoothly for everyone.

Not too much rain!

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What isn't obvious is how the movie makers would be able to get the characters from both the original Jurassic Park trilogy, and the Jurassic World trilogy, together in a story that makes any kind of sense. But this, we're assured, is the big climax to the whole franchise, so it had to be done.

And it is done ... more or less successfully.

The first trick is to introduce all those characters (plus new ones) slowly, so we start with Owen and Claire hiding away in the backwoods, to protect the cloned girl they--let's face it--kidnapped at the end of the last movie. Lots of people want to dissect Maise (Isabella Sermon, who should have a great career ahead), perhaps literally. Unfortunately, Maise is fourteen now, and chaffing at being stuck in a cabin with two adults, even with the excitement of a velociraptor in the woods and giant herbivores hanging around the local lumber camp.

Dinosaurs have spread all over the world now, and while some humans try to protect or at least control them, others do the normal human things: Dinosaur black markets target the animals for everything from exotic meat to dogfighting-like competition. Meanwhile, a new threat has emerged in America's heartland: dino-sized locusts, which our old friend Ellie Satler is investigating. When she gets an invitation to visit the place the new threat may be coming from--an invitation from Ian Malcolm--she tracks down Alan Grant to help.

Meanwhile the bad guys finally track down and kidnap Maise, so Owen and Claire also start a journey, and--wouldn't you know it--their search leads them to the same villain's lair Ellie and Alan are headed for.

See? It took me three full paragraphs just to begin to describe the plot, and I didn't even get to some interesting new people (especially DeWanda Wise as a wisecracking pilot), and returning side characters. There's a LOT going on here, people.

That's even before all the main characters finally meet up--which really is a treat to watch. JW:D somehow manages to give each of them some time to shine, and it's great to see the youngin's interact with the old farts, to coin a phrase. There are also, naturally, some fantastic dinosaur appearances, although sometimes the movie gets a bit too busy in the action sequences (especially a duel chase scene in Malta, which made me want to hum the James Bond theme).

I usually give things like this a pass, but there were so many coincidences. People and animals kept coming from miles or continents away, and then showing up at the perfect moment to save/meet/wisecrack with someone else. I suppose they couldn't think of a better way to do it, with so many characters and animals running in so many directions--but if I noticed it, it's pretty blatant.

Just the same, it was a joy to meet our old friends again, and the Jurassic World cast did a fine job ... after all, the failings of the last two movies weren't their fault. There was even a surprise or two, toward the end, and enough shout outs to the original movies to satisfy or disgust everyone.

Is this the end of the Jurassic franchise? Everyone involved seemed to think so, but I wouldn't bet on it.

My Score:

Entertainment Value: 4 1/2 out of 5 M&Ms. The movie came close to going out of control a few times, but it was still fun.

Oscar Potential: 1 out of 5 M&Ms. It's a summer popcorn movie: Enjoy it as that.

At some point, as I was cleaning carpets Saturday, I raised some kind of allergen in the dust that laid me out like getting punched by Will Smith.

Don't worry, I'm not going to dwell for too long on the infamous Oscar slap--just a little.

I'm allergic to dust, or something in dust, or maybe I'm allergic to dusting. In any case, our house had cats living in it for many years, and I'm highly allergic to them. It's not easy getting dander out of every nook and cranny. I don't even know where the crannies are. (I'm also allergic to dogs, but sometimes you just have to suck it up, as in sucking dander into your lungs.)

"Bombardier to pilot, dander away!"

I have a lot of allergies, but for some reason dust is the worst ... maybe it has all the other allergens in it? I should wear a mask, but I'm a man, and men are stupid. So for the second half of the weekend I laid on the couch, in a medicinal stupor, and watched a marathon of How the Universe Works.

The great thing about the weekend is that I didn't watch the news for three days (or the weather, which pretty much spoke for itself). But I didn't stay completely away from social media, which is sad.

This explains why I had a dream, narrated by Mike Rowe, in which Jupiter insulted Saturn's rings, so Earth crossed through the asteroid belt and slapped Jupiter right in its spot.

"Now, that's what I call a close encounter."				"Memes, uh ... find a way."

For those of you who, like me, don't really care, at the Oscar ceremony Sunday Chris Rock made fun of Smith's wife's baldness, which is caused by a medical condition. Smith then smacked Rock and said, "Welcome to Earth".

Or something like that. I don't watch the Oscars after my doctor advised me to cut down on stress-inducing political speeches. Besides, I haven't watched the movie that won Best Picture since 2002.

You know, there should be an awards show for low-brow fans, like me. Best Picture, 1977: Smokey and the Bandit! (Actually, that year it was Rocky--which I did watch, so never mind.)

My allergies made me feel like Sylvester Stallone punched me. At this rate, I'll need a TV on the ceiling. (This is actually from a sleep study. I couldn't. Sleep, that is.)

Seeing the reaction to the Will-Rock incident made me realize I truly am from an older generation. If someone got up in front of a national audience and made fun of my wife's medical condition, I'd break their nose. The speaker, not the national audience. I recognize this is hypocritical, considering I'm such a fan of Don Rickles, although in my defense Mr. Personality never made fun of my wife.

But it's the 21st Century, and although you can't swing a cat without offending someone (which would offend someone), apparently it's no longer allowed to be offended on behalf of a loved one. "Violence never solved anything!" Which isn't true, but it's a nice thought.

But I'm a man, and men are stupid. In any case, Emily doesn't need my help: She could punch out both Christ Rock and Will Smith. I've seen her push around horses.

Although she never made fun of them.

No, I don't hate cats. Read the whole title, people.

 This is going to be a short one, because I don't like to put spoilers in my reviews--and "Spider-Man: No Way Home" is about as chock full of spoilers as any movie could be. Still, I should get something out of almost getting killed on the way home from the theater, so here goes.

At the close of "Spider Man: Far From Home" the duel lives of Peter Parker (Tom Holland, still my favorite Spider-Man) are revealed, and all the world knows he's a superhero. It doesn't go well. But then, nothing is ever easy for Peter. Casting around for a solution, Peter thinks: "Hey--casting. I'll talk to Doctor Strange!" (See what I did there?)

Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) feels grateful for Peter helping with that whole Thanos thing, so despite dire warnings he agrees to cast a spell that will make everyone forget Peter and Spidey are one in the same. But--again--things go horribly wrong, when Peter keeps wanting to make exceptions during the spell casting. Soon other realities are opening, forcing Strange, Peter, and his friends to fight a multitude of new challenges to keep the entire universe from unraveling.

Nothing like high stakes.

Now, chances are good that if you're interested in this movie, you're already aware of major reveals and surprise characters that pop up here. Just the same, I don't want to ruin the fun, so I'll just say "Spider-Man: No Way Home" is ... well, fun. I expected that.

What I didn't expect was the depth of characters, and the truly heart-rending moments that people who don't watch "comic book movies" would be surprised about. (Marvel fans know that, of course, having shed more than a tear or two over character deaths and other tragedies. Jeeze, Thanos, who didn't you just ask for twice the resources?)

Marvel has an uncanny ability to fit in a proverbial cast of thousands, and still have a coherent plot and great character moments. Here that makes for the best of the Spider-Man movies, and one of the better MCU flicks. I should have seen that coming, since Spidey always has a lot of heart--that's his real attraction.

My only caveat: To fully appreciate this movie, you really need to go back and watch all the previous Spider-Man movies--even though technically most weren't set in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I've missed one, although I didn't have trouble keeping up, but it's a lot more fun if you see what's come before.

My score:

Entertainment Value: 5 out of 4 M&Ms. Because it's my rating system, and I can. It was totally worth holding my bladder, and then almost dying in a snowstorm.

Oscar Potential: 3 out of 4 M&Ms. In addition to the usual--effects and such--several of the performances here are at the Academy level, although I can't mention most of them because--spoilers. But the Academy will, of course, nominate movies they love: Slow and downbeat.

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 Since I'm reviewing two movies at once (we went to the drive-in), I'm going to keep this short.

Stop laughing, I am.

Yep, we're back where I wrote Coming Attractions.

After watching "Free Guy" and "Jungle Cruise" back to back, it became obvious to me why Ryan Reynolds and Dwayne Johnson have been on such a winning streak of late: They both decided to embrace the silly. Armed with comic timing and a wink at the audience, both men are well aware they've been dropped into universes that shouldn't be taken too seriously.

What that means, of course, is that you either love them or hate them. I love the fun.

In "Free Guy" Reynolds is Guy, which is as much a name as he gets because he's just an NPC--a Non Playable Character--in a popular video game. Every morning he gets up, grabs a coffee, and dodges explosions on the way to his job at the bank, which gets robbed several times a day. He thinks nothing of it, until one day he's entranced by a woman who's one of the sunglasses-wearing elite, the cool people who have no routine and simply do what they please.

Soon Guy's world is shaken when he discovers the elite are video game players, and he's merely one of those background characters whose only role is to be victim, supply items, or simply fill up space. He finds himself falling for the player (Jodie Comer), who's trying to correct an injustice in real life, and they both end up racing to save the fictional world before it's destroyed by its owner--who's ready to go with an entirely new version.

It's been done before, sort of--the first example that comes to mind is "The Lego Movie". Here it's done with new twists, style, great effects, humor--and heart, something Reynolds excels at. It doesn't hurt that there are some awesome cameos, including one by Reynolds' real-life wife. (And another by Dwayne Johnson.)

"Jungle Cruise" is based on Disney's Jungle Cruise, thus the name. The plot? Well, it's the same plot as that wonderful Brendan Fraser movie, "The Mummy". An uncouth adventurer in the early 20th Century is hired to take a female British researcher and her unadventurous brother into a dangerous wilderness, where they encounter supernatural threats.

Which just goes to show you, the exact same idea can lead to completely different stories.

Johnson demonstrates a deft comic timing here, with a talented fellow cast including the real star of the movie, Emily Blunt. His character has been going up and down the Amazon in a small river boat for years and pretty much has everything figured out, until he's nonplussed by Blunt's ... well, bluntness, not to mention smarts. This being Disney, the movie has both the humor and action parts down, and the stakes are high as our heroes search for a plant that might save thousands of lives in the trenches of World War I.

All is, of course, not what it seems. If the action gets a bit improbable ... well, it's a summer Disney flick, so there you go. As Johnson's character says, "Who brings a submarine up the Amazon?" Actually, that quote pretty much sums up the tone of the whole movie.

My score on both films:

Entertainment value: 4 out of 4 M&Ms. They're summer popcorn movies--if you want your popcorn with lots of laughs, over the top action, and dazzling effects, these are two great examples. (Actually, "Free Guy" has the advantage of being mostly in a video game, where over the top action is all too likely.)

Oscar Potential: 2 out of 4 M&Ms. They don't give out Oscars for "Most Fun Movie". Maybe they should.

Decades ago, slackers Bill and Ted learned that they would someday be loved worldwide, and that they would write a Song that would bring the world together.

Backed by that knowledge, they formed a band that became insanely popular ... but as time went on the Song didn't come, and as Bill and Ted Face the Music opens, they're slacker dads reduced to playing at nursing homes and open mic nights.

Which, naturally, sets the entire universe to unraveling.

So Bill and Ted try to solve the problem the easy way. Experienced time travelers, they'll simply travel to the future, and take the already written Song from the future Bill and Ted. Excellent! Meanwhile their daughters, Thea and Billie, take matters into their own hands by traveling to the past, to collect famous musicians into a backup band for their fathers.

Bill and Ted Face the Music is exactly what we need in these times--pure fun. If you hate time travel stories, or if you're one of those purists who questions every aspect of time travel cause and effects, I can't help you. Otherwise, just relax and have fun as Bill and Ted try to save the universe and their marriages. The further into the future they go, the more outlandish their future selves are. Meanwhile, the daughter of their original helper, Rufus (George Carlin naturally gets a shout-out), and a murder robot sent to institute Plan B--killing Bill and Ted (again)--are playing catch up.

The only problem I had with the long time between movies is that occasionally Keanu Reeves just looked too old to be this character again. It's not his fault--in fact, Reeves and Alex Winter race through the movie with the same innocent, zany energy of their first appearance. I think it was the lack of a beard, and long hair that, as my wife put it, actually made him resemble Harry Potter's Severus Snape. Believe me, it didn't prevent me from enjoying the movie.

A special shout-out to Anthony Carrigan, who plays the robot--its actual name is Dennis Caleb McCoy, he points out. It's an hysterical performance that just gets funnier as it goes on. We also get another great mix of historical figures, this time all music related. Oh, and Death. It wouldn't be the same without William Sadler showing up.

My favorite new characters were Bill and Ted's daughters: Thea and Billie basically take on the same job their fathers did in the original Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. They're just like their fathers, and they even take on some of the same mannerisms as the older pair. I wouldn't at all mind seeing a sequel headlining the two women--or even a series.

 My score:

Entertainment Value: 4 out of 4 M&Ms. The ending was a bit abrupt, but otherwise it was plenty of fun.

Oscar Potential: 2 out of 4 M&Ms. Movies aren't easy to make, but everyone makes this one look like a gathering of friends just having a good time. The Academy hates happiness.

You may have heard of Outlander, a little tale of time travel and kilts that spawned, oh, several dozen sequels, and a TV series that's headed into its sixth season. Being a fan of time travel stories, I agreed readily when my wife wanted to watch it, and we quickly became hooked.

Naturally, that led to reading the book. It's a long book, and I'm told the first novel is the shortest of them.

But it shares with the series a gift for detail, which should satisfy history buffs even as the story rolls along fast enough to keep the casual reader entertained.

Claire Randall is a World War II nurse, reunited with her husband, a history and genealogy buff, at the end of the war. They're vacationing in Scotland when they discover an isolated circle of standing stones, not uncommon in that country. It's the kind of thing you shouldn't visit again right after a group of white-clad women do a spooky dance inside it, but Claire is the curious sort.

Next thing you know, she's right back in a war again, this time between the English and the Scottish ... in 1743. Women are second-hand citizens, Claire has the healing powers of a witch, and there's some guy who looks exactly like her husband threatening her at every turn.

Oh, and then there's James Fraser, that redheaded muscle man in a kilt, who's as close to being the perfect man as the 1700s could produce. From the moment she dresses his wounds ('cause he's an awesome warrior man, don'cha know), fate keeps bringing them together, until she finds herself torn between her past life, which is in the future, and her present life, which is in the past.

Outlander is a slam-bang adventure, a hot (heavily R rated) romance, and a meticulously researched historical novel. I found myself fascinated by the detail: Diana Gabaldon clearly did her due diligence, but doesn't overwhelm the reader with so much detail as to make the story boring. Her characters are well drawn, and there are plenty of twists to go around. Just keep in mind that many of those twists are on the violent side, and on at least one occasion the sexually violent side.

Yes, I plan to read the other novels, although considering the size of my present reading list, I'll probably have the TV series finished, first.

It's hard for any of us today to fully understand just how much of an underdog the American military was in 1942. In the Pacific the Japanese had a bigger navy, more experience, and often better arms. We had no reason to believe they didn't plan to invade Hawaii, then go on to attack West Coast cities. As nations played a dangerous game of chess across the vast ocean, a tiny, two and a half square mile atoll in the middle of nowhere was so important that Japanese destroyers shelled it the same day Pearl Harbor was attacked: the two islands of Midway.

(And by the way, the first U.S. Marine to earn the Congressional Medal of Honor during WWII earned it that day, at Midway.)

How can one movie possibly show how critical of a time that was, for both sides?

It turns out: pretty darned well.

I was concerned when I found out Midway actually starts with the Pearl Harbor attack. In 1976 Hollywood pulled together every famous actor they could find to tell just the story of Midway itself, the one battle, and it took them 132 minutes to do it. (Granted, they had to jam in a love story along the way.) This new movie was working in the Pearl Harbor attack, the Doolittle Raid, and other battles that happened along the way! How could they manage that?

Pretty darned well. And maybe in a way better: In the more than forty years since the first movie, many of us need a reminder of the chain of events leading up to the battle.

This Midway also brings in several celebrities, all of them playing real historical figures, from admirals to the poor back seat guy in the dive bombers, trying to drive away fighters without shooting off their own plane's tail. The movie pulls everything together by concentrating on a few characters who get to be involved in just about everything (and some of them really were). There are no star turns here: The impressive performances by people like Woody Harrelson, Dennis Quaid, and even Mandy Moore are all the more impressive because they manage to turn themselves into their characters--not stars playing their characters.

Similarly, there's the concern that giant explosions and flashy special effects might overwhelm the actual story. After all, it was directed by Roland Emmerich, who seems to have destroyed the world in every way possible. And there certainly were plenty of effects, but this is a war story, and they served the story instead of the other way around. I suspect some people will find them overwhelming; I also suspect that in some scenes they were meant to be. But it works: sometimes I became genuinely concerned about the characters even though I already knew what was going to happen.

Midway is overall historically accurate. But, to fit half a year's worth of war into 138 minutes, shortcuts are taken from time to time, and once or twice I found them jarring. For instance, at one point we see a navy commander make a critical decision about attacking the enemy, and in the next scene we see a carrier burning--you have to pay attention to understand they were connected.

But for the most part they do a good job--an amazing job, really--of guiding us through the strikes and counter strikes that led to this turning point in the Pacific War.

My Rating:

Entertainment Value:  4 out of 4 M&Ms. This was something of a throwback to the war movies of an earlier time, where you can actually enjoy the movie and understand the stakes without being buried in graphic violence and Important Messages. Not that there aren't messages to be had.

Oscar Potential: 2 out of 4 M&Ms. Everyone did a great job overall, but this doesn't seem to be the kind of movie Academy voters care about. I did sometimes wish I could insert John Williams' score from the first Midway into this one.

Has it really been ten years since Zombieland came out?

Wow. That explains why Little Rock doesn't look little anymore.

When we last saw our four friends, they'd just escaped certain death at an amusement park on the West Coast. Well, the great thing about the zombie apocalypse is that zombies don't drive, so a cross-county road trip would have way less traffic.

But all is not well with our little family. Little Rock was eleven when the apocalypse hit, and is frustrated at still being treated like a kid, and by the lack of people her own age. Tallahassee is aching to be on the road again. And while Columbus and Wichita seem a happy couple, she freaks out when he presents her with an engagement ring: specifically, the Hope Diamond. (Half the fun of the early scenes involve the gang hanging out in Washington, mostly at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.)

Soon the group is split up and on the road again, avoiding new and more dangerous zombies and headed (by way of Graceland) toward a hippie paradise called Babylon. There anyone who enters is made to melt down their weapons, before they enter "paradise". You know that won't end well, and sure enough, they soon have to defend their domain from an army of the undead.

Zombieland: Double Tap is exactly what we need from a comedy these days: Humor, unencumbered by political correctness. We're treated with new characters along the way, including laid back stoner pacifist Berkeley (Avan Jogia), and ditzy Madison (Zoey Deutch, who I nominate for funniest dumb blonde ever). They're both people who by rights shouldn't have survived this long, but we get to be treated to our main characters' reaction to them.

We also get Rosario Dawson as the kick-ass proprietor of an Elvis Presley themed motel, and a strangely familiar duo (Luke Wilson and Thomas Middleditch), as well as a few unexpected appearances that are loads of fun.

In fact, maybe that's what Zombieland: Double Tap should be compared to: Buckets of bloody fun. And guts. There's a lot of shooting and zombie killing, plenty of action, and most of it is oh, so funny, in a gross sort of way. You can skip the end credits scene if you want to, but please, please stay for the mid-credits scene.

My Score:

Entertainment Value:  4 out of 4 M&Ms. The good brown ones.

Oscar Potential:  1 out of 4 M&Ms. Three Oscar nominees and one Oscar winner, and--no, wait. Four Oscar nominees and one winner, but they're having way too much fun. Good production work, too, but hey--zombie movie.