My initial reaction when hearing about the Broadway musical Hamilton was surprise that all these historical characters were being played by non-white actors. How was this better than having a white actor play a real black person? How would black people feel if they did an all-white version of Roots? Pissed, that's how they'd feel, and with good reason. (There are white actors in Hamilton, my favorite being the guy who plays the sometimes villainous, but mostly confused King George III.)

But that comparison is not the same. Stay with me; I'll get back to that.

Hamilton is not a movie version of the Broadway musical. It's the Broadway musical itself, filmed for release on Disney's very own streaming thingy that I got because I wanted Star Wars stuff. (The Mandalorian, see it!) In addition to my initial issue, Hamilton seemed over-hyped, had a lot of that rapping and hip hop stuff I never cared for, played fast and loose with history, and seemed a pale, puny thing beside my favorite musical, "1776". (Which also plays fast and loose with history, but never mind.)

But I watched it.

It is not over hyped. Oh, it is so very not over-hyped.


Spectacular, energetic, emotional, and wow. Sure, if you hate musicals you won't like it, but what kind of monster are you, anyway? (Sorry, William--inside joke.) I don't ever recall watching a musical that had me sitting on the edge of my chair. I don't recall the last time a movie made me tear up--more than once. And, having left drama club myself many years ago, I'd forgotten about the pure joy of a stage show.

Oh, and what's the show about? Well, shame on you if you don't know your history. (Which is why inaccuracies shouldn't be an issue--you people should already know this stuff.)

It's all about the life of future first U.S. Treasurer Alexander Hamilton, who as an orphan worked his way up from his dirt-poor beginnings and arrived in New York at an interesting time--just before the outbreak of the American Revolution. He meets future statues such as Aaron Burr, the Marquis de Lafeyette, and those Schuyler sisters, and eventually becomes the right hand man of the Continental Army's steel-willed commander, George Washington.

You've heard of Washington, right?

That's all covered in the first act. After all, there's a country to build in the second.

The story, in the end, is about Hamilton trying without much success to balance family and his own ambitions, which are pushed by memories of his impoverished childhood. His chief nemesis is future Vice-President Aaron Burr, and their power struggle fuels much of the conflict until an ending that you should have seen coming, if you cracked that history book. On the other side we have Eliza Schuyler, whose love for her husband Alexander causes her joy and pain over the course of their lives, and who provides much of the emotional center for the show.

Which is spectacular. Did I mention that?


 Hamilton is mostly sung (or rapped) opera style, and there never seems to be a moment when the cast, and even the stage, isn't on the move. It's almost exhausting, while also hilarious, heart-tugging, and engaging. Maybe it'll even get some people to pick up a history book.

And what about the color of the actors' skin?

Well, in short order you just don't notice it. Still, I think my comparison of white actors playing the black parts in Roots is unfair. There's a thread here, of people freeing themselves from the chains of another power, of the underprivileged trapped by their surroundings who fight to bring themselves up. Sure, lots of white people have been slaves through history, but rarely here, on the American continent. That's the story of black people, and it has its parallels with both Hamilton himself and the drive for American independence. Maybe someone at first just wanted to hire the people they knew for this play, or maybe to some it was a great gimmick, whatever ... but it works.

It hasn't pushed "1776" out as my favorite musical, but it's an apples and oranges thing anyway--and Hamilton is a solid number 2. And regardless of whether it makes you think, it sure makes you want to dance in your chair.

On a related note, keep this in mind for your Christmas list: I want the soundtrack.


 

 

I originally wrote this six years ago, but few people read it because it's about history. Ironically, it was one of the last pieces I wrote before my newspaper column became history. 
 
As I said in the opening to our book "Hoosier Hysterical", history would be a lot more fun if it was made ... well ... fun. So I had fun with this. (It's been changed slightly because I'm six years older.)




 
 
 
            Ever since Christopher Columbus first landed in the New World and hid all the Viking artifacts, America has been a land of opportunity, independence, and smallpox.

 
 
            Eventually the British colonists decided to go off and form their own country. (Except for Canadians, who were just too polite to leave.) Since our schools don’t teach enough history these days--there’s so much more of it now--I thought I’d give you a quick timeline of how we, the people, went from tea to coffee:

 
 
            1756: The French and Indian War

 
 
            This was probably the first World War. No, seriously: Over here we just mention the French and Indians, but the rest of the world called it the Seven Years War. It spread all over the globe, like a viral YouTube video, but with more cannon fire and disease. Nations involved included Austria, England, France, Great Britain, Prussia, and Sweden. Oh, and the Indians, who had their own list of nations.

 
 
            (Later on Prussia, not wanting to be confused with Russia, changed their name to Germany.)
 

 
            Why does this involve American Independence, which came decades later? Because it cost the British government so much to defeat their enemies (and the Indians) that they began taxing the colonists to help pay for it. And yet they didn’t allow the colonies to raise their own armies, plus there was that whole taxation without representation thing.

 
 
            Oh, and one more thing: The whole world war began (well, mostly) because a young Virginia militia leader ambushed a French scouting party in the far west wilderness … near Pittsburgh. In later years, George Washington would be more careful to start battles after war was declared.

 
            1770: The Boston Massacre:

 
 
            No, it wasn’t a sporting event. It started when a group of colonists began throwing snowballs at a squad of British soldiers (In Boston. Sheesh.). That’s not so bad, is it? Then the colonists starting tossing sticks and stones, which, contrary to popular belief, can indeed break bones.
 

 
            This is a perfect example of why you shouldn’t throw stuff at people with guns. Five colonists died and the soldiers were arrested, but they were mostly acquitted thanks to the crafty defense by a young lawyer names John Adams.
 

 
            1773: The Boston Tea Party
 

 
            Tired of high taxes, an unresponsive government, and Earl Gray, colonists (In Boston—sheesh) dressed up as Indians, sneaked aboard ships (In the harbor—sheesh), and tossed 342 chests of tea into the water. In today’s dollars, they turned Boston harbor into the world’s biggest cup, with $750,000 worth of tea. They were led, of course, by the famous Boston patriot Folger “Starbuck” Maxwell.
 

 
            But why blame the Indians? They didn’t even drink tea.

 
 
            1774: The First Continental Congress

 
 
            They didn’t get much done. But in their defense, they were a Congress.

 
 
            1775: Patrick Henry stirs the pot

 
 
            With the grievances of the colonists ignored by a remote government—sort of like today, only without Facebook—a radical named Patrick Henry, upset because he had two first names and no last one, began making fiery speeches and resolutions.
 

 
            The truth is, Henry was kind of a deadbeat. Worse, a lawyer. But man, he sure could talk good, and his actions helped ignite the American Revolution. You’ve probably heard the last line of his big speech, which was “Give me liberty or give me death!” Luckily, he got liberty.
 

 
            1775: The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere.
 

 
            He rode through the countryside yelling, “The British are coming!”
 

 
            Sleepy residents yelled back, “Shut up, you fool! We are the British!”
 

 
            Then he got arrested, probably for violating the noise ordinance, and the ride was completed by William Dawes. Unfortunately for Dawes, the name “Paul Revere” sounded better in poetry.
 

 
            Also 1775 (busy year, there): The Battle of Lexington and Concord
 

 
            Revere had discovered the British were marching by sea, which slowed them down considerably because the horses didn’t swim well. That gave the Minutemen almost a full two minutes. It was plenty of time to gather in Lexington, to protect stores of arms and gunpowder, and Concord, to protect the grapes.

 
 
            1775 (saw that coming, didn’t you?): The Second Continental Congress

 
 
            Didn’t get much done. They made up for it in 1776, though.
 

 
            1775 or so: The Battle of Bunker Hill
 

 
            It was actually fought on Breeds Hill.
 

 
            177—wait for it—5: Patriots occupy Montreal, Canada
 

 
            Things were looking up, up there. And that’s the last time things looked up for the Revolutionaries in the north, who discovered Canadian hospitality didn’t extend to invasion.


 
 
 
I wrote about both the American Revolution and Canadian hospitality in Hoosier Hysterical. Did you know Indiana was the location of the westernmost naval battle of the Revolution? You didn't? It's in the book--I'll go sulk, now.
 
 



 
            1776 (finally!) Egged on by the British, Cherokee Indians attack along the entire  frontier
 

 
            They were still upset about the whole Tea Party fraud. Also, they were mad about getting named for a country on the other side of the world.
 

 
            June 7, 1776: Richard Henry Lee points out to the Continental Congress that they’ve been rebelling against the British for more than a year, and wouldn’t it be a good idea to actually declare themselves to be rebelling?

 
 
            June 11: Five Congressmen are appointed to draft a Declaration of Independence. The other four talk Thomas Jefferson into doing the writing, pointing out that he’s the only one who’s invented a portable desk to use.

 
 
            June 12-27: Jefferson writes a rough draft, only to receive a rejection letter from the committee.
 

 
July 1-4: The entire Congress rips apart the Declaration. (Not literally. Sheesh.) Jefferson quits writing and goes into politics.
 

 
July 2: Congress declares independence, just as the British fleet and army arrive to invade New York. Talk about timing. John Adams declares that July 2 will forever be celebrated as Independence Day.

 
 
July 4: Having already declared independence, Congress now adopts the Declaration of Independence, declaring something they’ve already declared. John Adams’ head explodes.

 
 
July 9: George Washington has the Declaration read before the American army. The soldiers nod politely and ask when they’re going to get paid.
 

 
There was much more to it, of course. In fact, you could say the American Revolution went on until the US Constitution was adopted in 1788, or even until we fought the second Revolutionary war in 1812, which might also be related to the real second World War.



Now, that’s a funny story.
 

 
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's that, you ask? Why yes, of course you can celebrate July 4th, or any date, by buying
Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving At All:

 
 
Four years ago I wrote my regular newspaper humor column about Independence Day history, which few people read because it was about history. Ironically, about two months later my regular newspaper column became history, but that's another story.
As I said in the opening to our book "Hoosier Hysterical", history would be a lot more fun if it was made ... well ... fun. So I had fun with this, which has been changed slightly because I'm four years older.


SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK
 
 
            Ever since Christopher Columbus first landed in the New World and hid all the Viking artifacts, America has been a land of opportunity, independence, and smallpox.
 
            Eventually the British colonists decided to go off and form their own country. (Except for Canadians, who were just too polite to leave.) Since our schools don’t teach enough history these days (there’s so much more of it now), I thought I’d give you a quick timeline of how we, the people, went from tea to coffee:
 
            1756: The French and Indian War
 
            This was probably the first World War. No, seriously: Over here we just mention the French and Indians, but the rest of the world called it the Seven Years War. It spread all over the globe, like a viral YouTube video, but with more cannon fire and disease. Nations involved included Austria, England, France, Great Britain, Prussia, and Sweden. Oh, and the Indians.
 
            (Later on Prussia, not wanting to be confused with Russia, changed their name to Germany.)
 
            Why does this involve American Independence, which came decades later? Because it cost the British government so much to defeat their enemies (and the Indians) that they began taxing the colonists to help pay for it. And yet they didn’t allow the colonies to raise their own armies, and there was that whole taxation without representation thing.
 
            Oh, and one more thing: The whole world war began (well, mostly) because a young Virginia militia leader ambushed a French scouting party in the far west wilderness … near Pittsburgh. In later years, George Washington would be more careful to start battles after war was declared.
            1770: The Boston Massacre:
 
            No, it wasn’t a sporting event. It started when a group of colonists began throwing snowballs at a squad of British soldiers (In Boston. Sheesh.). That’s not so bad, is it? Then the colonists starting tossing sticks and stones, which, contrary to popular belief, can indeed break bones.
 
            This is a perfect example of why you shouldn’t throw stuff at people with guns. Five colonists died and the soldiers were arrested, but they were mostly acquitted thanks to the crafty defense by a young lawyer names John Adams.
 
            1773: The Boston Tea Party
 
            Tired of high taxes, an unresponsive government, and Earl Gray, colonists (In Boston—sheesh) dressed up as Indians, sneaked aboard ships (In the harbor—sheesh), and tossed 342 chests of tea into the water. In today’s dollars, they turned Boston harbor into the world’s biggest cup, with $750,000 worth of tea. They were led, of course, by the famous Boston patriot Folger “Starbuck” Maxwell.
 
            But why blame the Indians? They didn’t even drink tea.
 
            1774: The First Continental Congress
 
            They didn’t get much done. But in their defense, they were a Congress.
 
            1775: Patrick Henry stirs the pot
 
            With the grievances of the colonists ignored by a remote government—sort of like today, only without Facebook—a radical named Patrick Henry, upset because he had two first names and no last one, began making fiery speeches and resolutions.
 
            The truth is, Henry was kind of a deadbeat. Worse, a lawyer. But man, he sure could talk good, and his actions helped ignite the American Revolution. You’ve probably heard the last line of his big speech, which was “Give me liberty or give me death!” Luckily, he got liberty.
 
            1775: The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere.
 
            He rode through the countryside yelling, “The British are coming!”
 
            Sleepy residents yelled back, “Shut up, you fool! We are the British!”
 
            Then he got arrested, probably for violating the noise ordinance, and the ride was completed by William Dawes. Unfortunately for Dawes, the name “Paul Revere” sounded better in poetry.
 
            Also 1775 (busy year, there): The Battle of Lexington and Concord
 
            Revere had discovered the British were marching by sea, which slowed them down considerably because the horses didn’t swim well. That gave the Minutemen almost a full two minutes. It was plenty of time to gather in Lexington, to protect stores of arms and gunpowder, and Concord, to protect the grapes.
 
            1775 (saw that coming, didn’t you?): The Second Continental Congress
 
            Didn’t get much done. They made up for it in 1776, though.
 
            1775 or so: The Battle of Bunker Hill
 
            It was actually fought on Breeds Hill.
 
            177—wait for it—5: Patriots occupy Montreal, Canada
 
            Things were looking up, up there. And that’s the last time things looked up for the Revolutionaries in the north, who discovered Canadian hospitality didn’t extend to invasion.
 
            1776 (finally!) Egged on by the British, Cherokee Indians attack along the entire southern frontier
 
            They were still upset about the whole Tea Party fraud. Also, they were mad about getting named for a country on the other side of the world.
 
            June 7, 1776: Richard Henry Lee points out to the Continental Congress that they’ve been rebelling against the British for more than a year, and wouldn’t it be a good idea to actually declare themselves to be rebelling?
 
            June 11: Five Congressmen are appointed to draft a Declaration of Independence. The other four talk Thomas Jefferson into doing the writing, pointing out that he’s the only one who’s invented a portable desk to use.
 
            June 12-27: Jefferson writes a rough draft, only to receive a rejection letter from the committee.
 
July 1-4: The entire Congress rips apart the Declaration. (Not literally. Sheesh.) Jefferson quits writing and goes into politics.
 
July 2: Congress declares independence, just as the British fleet and army arrive to invade New York. Talk about timing. John Adams declares that July 2 will forever be celebrated as Independence Day.
 
July 4: Having already declared independence, Congress now adopts the Declaration of Independence, declaring something they’ve already declared. John Adams’ head explodes.
 
July 9: George Washington has the Declaration read before the American army. The soldiers nod politely and ask when they’re going to get paid.
 
There was much more to it, of course. In fact, you could say the American Revolution went on until the US Constitution was adopted in 1788, or even until we fought the second Revolutionary war in 1812, which might also be related to the real second World War.

Now, that’s a funny story.

Flags are cool. This one's at the Albion Fire Department, so it's also hot.
As first seen in print and then online, but for some reason without my original title, in the Kendallville Mall:  http://www.4countymall.com/mark-hunter---slightly-off-the-mark/weird-crazy-laws


SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK

 

            You probably think the US Congress, our nation’s legislative body, comes up with some really crazy laws and makes insane, or at least dumb, decisions.

            You’d be right.

            However, they’re not the only ones. Across the world, there are laws, rules, and regulations that are just a bit … strange. That doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t make sense, but they’re definitely attention grabbing. As we hit once again the dog-days of election season (November-October) let’s take a look at some.

            Speaking of dogs, there was a time when dogsleds were the only way to get around in Antarctica, a place perpetually frozen. I know what you’re thinking: Couldn’t we relocate America’s Capitol to there, and let all that hot air thaw it out? Well, no. First, it wouldn’t be such a good idea to thaw Antarctica. Haven’t you ever seen The Thing?

            Second, Antarctica doesn’t belong to the people of the USA. Of course, these days neither does our Capitol.

            Sorry for my dogged political jokes. My point is it’s a good thing powered equipment came along, because it’s no longer legal to have dogs in Antarctica, something the dogs are no doubt happy about. Why? Because it’s illegal to have any non-indigenous species in Antarctica. After all, look at the bad things that happen when non-native species are introduced to an area. Hordes of dogs could destroy the entire continent’s ecosystem.

            If hordes of dogs would survive down there.

            Just the same, I support this, for the sake of penguins and … um … fish.

            Speaking of politicians, there’s one thing that will keep you out of political office in the great state of Tennessee. Well, two things – you have to actually live in Tennessee if you run for election. I doubt they’d take to carpetbaggers, either … you hear that, Hillary Clinton?

            But back to the point: It’s illegal in Tennessee to hold elected office if you don’t believe in God. Discrimination, you say? Maybe, but it’s also illegal to seek public office if you’re a member of the clergy. Or if you’ve ever had anything to do with dueling, such as setting up a gun fight between a preacher and an atheist. And yet, for all that, they don’t have trouble finding people to run for office.

            What do we take from this? If you’re an atheist in Tennessee, you don’t have a prayer.

            Yeah, I went there.

            Let’s go back a ways – say, to 1403. About that time some people in Wales rebelled against the King of England, Henry IV, who was just half the man Henry VIII would be. Being a king, Henry naturally enacted a law allowing his subjects to, well, hang any Welshman they found within the rebellion-hotbed city of Chester, in northwest England.

            Furthermore, Henry added, he wanted to keep his subjects both entertained and skilled at fighting. So, he allowed them to shoot at any Welshman within arrow distance of the town.
            It wasn’t nice; it’s just the way things were done back then. What makes this law remarkable is that … wait for it …

            It’s still a law.

            So if you live in Chester, and you own a crossbow – go for it, dude! You’re all good.

            Maybe the Welsh should do what Sao Paulo, Brazil, does. Over 41 million people live there, making it one of the largest provinces in the world. Why so many people?

            Maybe because, by city ordinance, no one living in the city of Biritiba-Mirim within the province is allowed to … stop living.

            It’s a tough rule to enforce. I mean, how do you punish people who break it? The death penalty?

            Turns out the rule was made to protest to a national law, something we Americans can understand. The country as a whole prohibits new cemeteries in environmentally sensitive areas, and Biritba-Mirin sits on a major water source. The city has run out of cemetery space, a grave situation, although … do you really want to feel like you’re drinking your ancestors?

            For now, if people break the rule in Biritba-Mirin and pass away, they end up sharing a crypt with another body – or they end up buried under local sidewalks. So either you’re on a party line to the afterlife, or you feel like someone’s walking on your grave.

            Back in England, there’s also one place where it’s illegal to die: the House of Parliament. Why? Because anyone who kicks the bucket there is automatically entitled to a state funeral. Imagine some loud American tourist standing there in his Hawaiian shirt, who suddenly chokes on a ham sandwich and – as they say – bites the big one. Yeah, they gotta give him a state funeral.

            It’s also illegal to wear a suit of armor inside Parliament, but I’m picturing them repealing that rule and sticking the dead tourist in one, so he doesn’t look out of place during the festivities.

            But at least you can chew gum. In Singapore, they’ll cane you for that. The place is a little … uptight.

            Finally, here’s my favorite somewhat odd law of them all, not because of its oddity but because I can relate:

            In New Orleans, it’s illegal to curse at firefighters.

            The idea is that while a firefighter is, say, running into a burning building, or doing CPR on a heart attack victim, or extricating people from a wrecked car, he’s probably stressed enough. He doesn’t need, “Hey! You’re a lousy firefighter, you @%#&!”

            So be nice to firefighters. For all you know, they may have just adopted some poor unemployed Antarctic dog.


This unemployed Antarctic dog was recently adopted by a Welsh firefighter.
ozma914: (Congress won't read this)
( Jun. 11th, 2015 04:06 am)

There's a petition going around to strip Bruce Jenner of all Olympic medals, what with Bruce actually being Caitlyn and all. (Why change the name? I know a woman named George--why not Bruce?)

Take medals away? Seems to me it should be the opposite. If Bruce felt he was a woman, but set records in sports where usually men get the faster time, then shouldn't he (or she, whatever) actually get an extra special medal? Like ... the platinum? Or the diamond medal? Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

If the medals should be taken away for anything, it should be for dumbing down America through participation in reality TV.

The big question is: Why do we care? As long as it's not being funded by taxpayers, let Bruce Jenner turn himself into a girl, a gorilla, a lemur, whatever. There are way worse problems in the world, such as ISIS, Congress … the other female Kardashians.

 

SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK

 

            Ever since Christopher Columbus first landed in the New World and hid all the Viking artifacts, America has been a land of opportunity, independence, and smallpox.

            Eventually the British colonists decided to go off and form their own country. (Except for Canadians, who were just too polite to leave.) Since our schools don’t teach enough history these days (there’s so much more of it now), I thought I’d give you a quick timeline of how we, the people, went from tea to coffee:

            1756: The French and Indian Wars

            This was probably the first World War. No, seriously: Over here we just mention the French and Indians, but the rest of the world called it the Seven Years War. It spread all over the globe, like a viral YouTube video, but with more cannon fire and disease. Nations involved included Austria, England, France, Great Britain, Prussia, and Sweden. Oh, and the Indians.

            (Later on Prussia, not wanting to be confused with Russia, changed their name to Germany.)

            Why does it involve American Independence, which came decades later? Because it cost the British government so much to defeat their enemies (and the Indians) that they began taxing the colonists to help pay for it. And yet they didn’t allow the colonies to raise their own armies, and there was that whole taxation without representation thing.

            Oh, and one more thing: The whole world war began (well, mostly) because a young Virginia militia leader ambushed a French scouting party in the far west … Pittsburgh. In later years, George Washington would be careful to start battles after war was declared.

            1770: The Boston Massacre:

            No, it wasn’t a sporting event. Sheesh. It started when a group of colonists began throwing snowballs at a squad of British soldiers (In Boston. Sheesh.). That’s not so bad, is it? Then the colonists starting tossing sticks and stones, which, contrary to popular belief, can indeed break bones.

            This is a perfect example of why you shouldn’t throw stuff at people with guns. Five colonists died and the soldiers were arrested, but they were mostly acquitted thanks to the crafty defense by a young lawyer names John Adams.

            1773: The Boston Tea Party

            Tired of high taxes, an unresponsive government and Earl Gray, colonists (In Boston—sheesh) dressed up as Indians, sneaked aboard ships (In the harbor—sheesh), and tossed 342 chests of tea into the water. In today’s dollars, they turned Boston harbor into the world’s biggest cup, with $750,000 worth of tea. They were led, of course, by the famous Boston patriot Folger “Starbuck” Maxwell.

            But why blame the Indians? They didn’t even drink tea.

            1774: The First Continental Congress

            They didn’t get much done. But in their defense, they were a Congress.

            1775: Patrick Henry stirs the pot

            With the grievances of the colonists ignored by a remote government—sort of like today, only without Facebook—a radical named Patrick Henry, upset because he had two first names and no last one, began making fiery speeches and resolutions.

            The truth is, Henry was kind of a deadbeat. Worse, a lawyer. But man, he sure could talk good, and his actions helped set off the American Revolution. You’ve probably heard the last line of his big speech, which was “Give me liberty or give me death!” Luckily, he got liberty.

            1775: The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere.

            He rode through the countryside yelling, “The British are coming!”

            Sleepy residents yelled back, “Shut up, you fool! We are the British!”

            Then he got arrested, probably for violating the noise ordinance, and the ride was completed by William Dawes. Unfortunately for Dawes, the name “Paul Revere” sounded better in poetry.

            Also 1775 (busy year, there): The Battle of Lexington and Concord

            Revere had discovered the British were marching by sea, which slowed them down considerably because the horses didn’t swim well. That gave the Minutemen almost a full two minutes. It was plenty of time to gather in Lexington, to protect stores of arms and gunpowder, and Concord, to protect the grapes.

            1775 (saw that coming, didn’t you?): The Second Continental Congress

            Didn’t get much done. They made up for it in 1776, though.

            1775 or so: The Battle of Bunker Hill

            It was actually fought on Breeds Hill.

            177—wait for it—5: Patriots occupy Montreal, Canada

            Things were looking up, up there. And that’s the last time things looked up for the Revolutionaries in the north, who discovered Canadian hospitality didn’t extend to invasion.

            1776 (finally!) Egged on by the British, Cherokee Indians attack along the entire southern frontier

            They were still upset about the whole Tea Party fraud.

            June 7, 1776: Richard Henry Lee points out to the Continental Congress that they’ve been rebelling against the British for more than a year, and wouldn’t it be a good idea to actually declare themselves to be rebelling?

            June 11: Five Congressmen are appointed to draft a Declaration of Independence. The other four talk Thomas Jefferson into doing the writing, pointing out that he’s the only one who’s invented a portable desk to use.

            June 12-27: Jefferson writes a rough draft, only to receive a rejection letter from the committee.

July 1-4: The entire Congress rips apart the Declaration. (Not literally. Sheesh.) Jefferson quits writing and goes into politics.

July 2: Congress declares independence, just as the British fleet and army arrive to invade New York. Talk about timing. John Adams declares that July 2 will forever be celebrated as Independence Day.

July 4: Having already declared independence, Congress now adopts the Declaration of Independence, declaring something they’ve already declared. John Adams’ head explodes.

July 9: George Washington has the Declaration read before the American army. The soldiers nod politely and ask when they’re going to get paid.

There was much more to it, of course. In fact, you could say the American Revolution went on until the US Constitution was adopted in 1788, or even until we fought the second Revolutionary war in 1812, which might also be related to the second World War.

Now, that’s a funny story.
.

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