Thanks to everyone for your birthday wishes! There got to be so many that I wasn't able to respond individually, so I pretended I was Neil Gaiman and couldn't respond to all my fans. Sadly, I wasn't able to duplicate the accent, or the looks, or all those book sales.

I did intend to ask everyone to buy one of our books for my birthday, which would be an awesome present ... but I seem to recall doing the same thing last year. So, just buy one now, instead.

(That never works, but what the heck.)

On a related note, I stopped doing any work on my writing for most of the week. Why? Well, to start out both the dog and I were sick--me with a ginormous sinus infection, Beowulf with a tooth abscess. We even both started on antibiotics at the same time. (He's a lot better now.) Still, after a few days Emily was able to shepherd us up to Michigan, where my oldest daughter Charis and her family were staying at my ex-father-in-law's cottage on Lake Bellaire.

(Lake Bellaire, not coincidentally, is the setting for my novel Radio Red)

So, we got to celebrate my fiftieth birthday up there!

(There was apparently some kind of math error.)

That's Charis and Vince and--oh, Beowulf!--waiting for one of Lake Bellaire's awesome sunsets. I spent most of my time sitting, being still under the weather, but there's something about that place that's just--relaxing. And if you're going to sit, isn't it better to sit on a shore watching the lake and sunset, and eating S'mores? I agree.

Speaking of S'mores, we had cake, ice cream, biscuits and gravy for both mornings we were up there, and some yummy grilled chicken, and I didn't have to cook a bit of it, which is probably what made it taste so good.

Above are my grandkids Brayden and Hunter, and the beginning of one of the coolest sunsets I've ever seen ... which I'll post photos of later.

So yeah--we had a great time. Now we're home, and I'm still spending a lot of time sitting, but hey: We have books.

Oh, and if you want to check out Radio Red:

 I don't get to see all three and a half of my grandchildren all together that often, because of schedules, and pandemics, and the like. But we were able to have a small gathering the morning of Christmas Eve (After that it was my weekend to work). Shockingly, we took pictures. I didn't get a picture of the third and a half grandkid, because she's still baking, and should come out of the oven in the spring.

These are the kids: Charis on the left, Jill on the right with her second daughter in hiding, and the big kid in the middle, otherwise known as Father Sithmas.

These are the grandkids, although the fact that I positioned us wrong for the picture is glaringly obvious. Hunter on the left, his twin Brayden on the right (they are TOO twins!) Between me and the Christmas tree is Lilli.

Getting Lilli and Beowulf together and unmoving long enough to take a photo is like capturing a fart in a skillet, although--who would want to do that? He was pretty much glued to her most of the morning, though.

 My oldest daughter, Charis Koehl, has set up an Etsy account. Between the grand-twins and other factors she can't be away from home all that much, so this kind of thing is perfect for her--she's always been a creative type, which I'm going to take credit for under the "runs in the family" theory.

(The main difference is that she can do actual hands-on stuff; when I try that I usually end up doing hands-broke stuff.)

You can find her here:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/WhiteBirchLaneDesign

I'm proud to say Charis named a line of kitchen decor stuff after me! Well, after my long-time humor column, "Slightly Off the Mark", which you've probably figured out became a blog. I wasn't sure of the connection at first, until I realized the items often include puns, which I'm known for, and towels, which I'm known for needing when I'm in the kitchen. I use them a lot--you can eat off my floor. Yep, I spill so much food you could eat off my floor.

I cannot lie: They're so me.

So here's the deal: I have my own coupon code! It's the big time. Go to Charis' Etsy, and get 10% off your Slightly Off the Mark collection order when you put in the code MARK10.

Also, if you order anything from Charis, on Etsy or in person, and then show me the proof (you know, like a photo), I'll give you 10% off the cost of any of our books! You have to buy the books, you understand, I won't just send you the difference. This is one of those ideas I had as I was typing this, and didn't run it by anyone, so I suspect it will end in disaster.

Anyway, in addition to the Etsy site Charis plans to sell her stuff in person at the Community Learning Center, which is at 401 E. Diamond Street in Kendallville, where they have a farmer's market type thing on Saturday mornings from 9-12.  (The exception is this coming Saturday, when she'll be at the Allen County Fair.) I'll pass on any new appearances or cool stuff that comes along.

Like any small business people, Charis and I appreciate your support. I've found that businesses always have trouble when they don't get ... business.

Get this: I saved this blog as a draft, and I'm so far behind in posting it that Lillianna is now twice the age she was when these photos were taken! She just hit six months a couple of weeks ago, and at her age that makes a big difference ... so you could almost call this nostalgia.

Here are a few grandbaby pics taken at my dad's 80th birthday party. I'm posting them because I'm grandpa, and I want to.

I want to apologize to everyone I’ve been in contact with about photos for the “Images Of America: Albion and Noble County” project. With my daughter sick for so long and in the hospital for over a week, and the book signing to prepare for, I haven’t gotten back to people like I planned to. I’ll get back on it—as soon as I’m feeling better.

Emily gave me her virus, although oddly, I don’t seem to be quite as sick as she’s been. Usually I get the man flu and curl into a whiney little ball (not that I’m not whining).  She’s slowly getting a little better, while I seem to be getting a little worse, so we haven’t been able to visit Charis as much as I’d hoped. Now I’m hoping that by the time you read this she’ll be home, although there’s still a lot of work to do on her health.

What Charis is going through is much worse than bronchitis, and the only thing I can say for it is that it’s not contagious: My shift partner seems to also have what Emily and I have. Sometimes it’s not nice to share.

SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK

            Yeah, so, I got married.

            On a related note, I’m getting married next year.

            Oh, relax; I’m not taking up polygamy. I don’t have the energy for that. Can you imagine how exhausting it must be, to try and keep up with more than one wife? Even if they knew about each other … if they didn’t, it would be even more of a challenge. What would happen to some poor guy with five wives if it’s really true about women who live together all getting on the same cycle? I’m not talking bikes, either.

            Sudden death, that’s what would happen.

            I was engaged for exactly two years to a woman who’s wonderful, sweet, sexy, smart, and reads this column. For several reasons, including her college education and scheduling, we didn’t go ahead.