Slightly Off the Mark

 This month's newsletter is out, and with it an excerpt from my newest NaNoWriMo novel, Christmas On Mist Creek! You can find it here:

 https://mailchi.mp/44770eabb377/a-free-read-from-nanowrimo?e=2b1e842057

  (By the way, if you sign up for the newsletter your e-mail address will NOT be sold or given to anyone else.)

I've completed the rough draft, and also won NaNoWriMo by going past the 50,000 word goal and hitting 59,296 words. The novel itself is actually about 56,500 words: The extra is the word count from other writing I did during the month, including writing a blog and the newsletter itself.

How long it will take to edit and polish the work, I don't know. I already saw some spots in the scene I posted that I'd like to change, including an opening that's a bit too stereotypical romance novel. But hey--that's what editing is for.

Remember, every time you sign up for a newsletter, Benjamin Franklin's ghost gets another beer. Ben loved beer--that's why he hung around Sam Adams.

(Also, don't forget: Buy books for Christmas!)

 Find ours:

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

 Let me tell you all a story of improper editing, and how I left a path of scorched earth behind me that no army could hope to replicate.

The worst part is: It's all my fault. Try as I might, I can't blame anyone else, an idea that sets people (especially politicians and mid-level management) quaking in fear.

But you can learn from my fate, if you're a writer. Or even if you're not.

While a literary agent isn't an absolute requirement to be traditionally published, they can open doors and otherwise be a great help to an author's career. What agents want in their submission packages varies, as I've mentioned before. Generally they ask for a query letter, an author bio, the opening pages of your book (anywhere from five pages to several chapters), and a synopsis.

Writers hate the synopsis. You have to boil your (in this case) 82,000 word novel down into just a couple of pages, which should reveal all your major characters, plot, setting, and ending. That's all. How hard could it be?

For most writers, it's pretty hard.

I suppose Beowulf wonders why I keep taking photos of him while I'm writing. It's because he DISTRACTS ME.

Okay, so I had an outline for We Love Trouble, but it was too long to serve as a typical synopsis. After months of writing, revising, editing, and polishing the manuscript, I had to carve that outline down even more. I was exhausted. But the job wasn't over, so I by-gosh carved out that synopsis, finishing when it was so late even the dog was asleep.

The next day, confident I had everything ready, I started submitting.

Now, most literary agents accept simultaneous submissions. That is to say, they don't mind if you submit to more than one at a time. Most publishers have a problem with that: They want to be the only publisher that can see your manuscript for several months before they send you a form rejection letter. That becomes an incredibly stressful waiting game for writers.

Just the same, a good author-agent relationship is vital, so I carefully select which agents I'm going to query. The synopsis stays the same, of course. Imagine writing a new synopsis every time! Since I do the extra research, over the course of two weeks I only submitted to fourteen agents. They were ones I thought would make for a good fit.

Then I went on to other things: Writing, editing, submitting short stories, occasionally sleeping. Replies began to trickle in, all but one of them form rejections. It appeared that my careful targeting impressed no one.

A couple of months later I got time to send more submissions. I skimmed over my materials, just to make sure I didn't want to change anything. That's when I discovered I had whittled my outline down to a synopsis ...

But I didn't check that synopsis for errors.

"Oh, that? It's the dumpster fire that used to be my writing career. Move along."

I sent it on rife with typos, misplaced words, and ... well, no spelling errors, but otherwise it was a trian wrack. Just like that, my two weeks of submitting was cleared away like a tornado sucking up a trailer park. If those agents remember me at all, it will be with the kind of dislike people reserve for drivers who cut them off in traffic. No one's perfect, but this wasn't one error: This was as if FDR started off his famous Pearl Harbor speech by getting the date wrong.

"December 6th, 1942 ... a date that will ... no, wait ...."

Since corrected, of course, but that doesn't get those agents back on my possibilities list. E-mail addresses can be whitelisted to allow them through--mine has been blacklisted. I can only hope they aren't swapping stories about me at agent conventions.

Learn from my fate. Edit. Polish. But for crying out loud, if you have to revise, go back and polish again. Some people will tell you too much time can be spent on editing, but I'm living proof that the opposite is also true.

Ah, well ... I'm sure I'll laugh about this someday.

No. No, I won't.

 I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year, and aren't you jealous?

No, it's not a yodeling contest in Wisconsin. Sheesh. It stands for National Novel Writing Month, the month being November, and the challenge being to write 50,000 words in 30 days. That figures out to ... let's see ... carry the--ah. 1,667 words per day, on the average.

Doesn't sound like much ... until you try it.

Personally, I would have chosen NaNoWriMo to be in January, which has an extra day, no holidays, and absolutely no reason to go outside. (What, New Year's? Let's face it: That holiday is actually on December 31st. After that a ball drops, you kiss someone through a mask, go home, and sleep late. Start writing at noon, and you're good.)

But the advantage of November is that you can use the excuse to leap up as soon as the turkey is eaten on Thanksgiving. "Sorry, love catching up with the family but Uncle Bert has already started with the political insults and the football game will be boring gotta go!" And you're outta there.

If you're a writer, you have the advantage of being too poor to go do anything else anyway, so why not give it a try? I won NaNoWriMo twice, with my manuscripts for Summer Jobs Are Murder and Fire On Mist Creek, both now quietly accumulating rejection slips in the corner. So I can give you a few tips on how to make it through the month, which is intended to give wannabe writers a kick in the proverbial pants:

Have your story ready to go. Characters created, outlines done (if you’re an outliner), research … um, researched. You should be prepared to type the first line of the actual story at 12:01 a.m. November 1st. (Or 10 a.m., or whenever you start.)

Second, take care of personal matters. Have a talk with friends and family. Tell them why it’s important to you. Make sure they either support you, or your locks are changed. If there’s some TV show you can’t stand to miss, DVR it. Take care to stay hydrated and eat proper meals, and every once in awhile get up and make sure your legs still work. Hire someone to make the meals and do the dishes.

Oh, wait, you're a writer--you can't afford to hire anyone.

Third, clear your schedule. As much as possible, anything you need to do, have done in October. Doctor appointments, for instance. Or, delay it until December. Laundry, for instance.

In other words, free up as much time as possible, and use that time for writing—writing first. Sure, if you cut a finger off you have to go to the hospital, but couldn’t you just bandage up an amputated toe for a few weeks? You don’t type with your toes.

Do you?

Once you get started writing, keep at it--don't worry about typos or other problems, you can fix those in edits. Get your story down.

I'm doing what I've been calling my Untitled Oz Project, which has no title.  (My original titles always suck, anyway.) Tell me yours! You've got nothing to lose but 30 days ... and maybe a toe.

If anyone wants to tag along on my trip, or maybe try a trip of your own, my NaNoWriMo account is here:

https://nanowrimo.org/participants/mark-r-hunter

I've already worked into my novel-in-progress three atrocious puns, three references to The Wizard of Oz, two more to Harry Potter, two horses, and ... well, just one dog, but he's an unusually smart dog.

And it just hit 70,000 words, making "We Love Trouble" my longest rough draft ever.

There's also a line of dialogue that makes me giggle every time I go over it, but we'll see whether it's actually funny, or just reacting with my warped mind. Either way, I'm feeling pretty darned good about the story right now.

I received this year's Noble County 4-H Creative Writing Projects the other day, so I'll be busy with the judging for several days.

I kind of hate that word, judging. Who am I to judge? I should forward all of these to George R.R. Martin or J.K. Rowling, they could judge ... but they're probably busy buying countries, or something.

When people start referring to me as M.R. Hunter, maybe I'll be too busy too. Until then, it's only right to help along aspiring authors. I was one, once ... and in many ways I'm still aspiring, along with inspiring and perspiring. So I'll do my best to do right by them.

Still, it's hard to be objective, especially when you can still remember how flimsy your own self-esteem was back then, and by you I mean me. Also, there are three categories, and it's important not to judge one by the standards of another. It would be like judging a college essay, then using the same standard to judge a third grader's "what I did last summer" paper.

Every 4-H entry I've read showed potential for great works to come. I hope I'll see all their names on a bookshelf, someday.

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your work to us. Unfortunately, it doesn't meet our needs at the present time, but we wish you future success.

Sincerely,

The Editor

Well, that's what they write. Any professional in the business will tell you editors, agents, and publishers don't reject writers: They reject pieces of paper with words written on them. However, that's not what writers hear:

Dear Loser,

 We considered using your manuscript as a coaster, but it was stinking up the place so much we couldn't even be bothered to steam off the stamps. Hopefully we'll never hear from you again, but wish you success at a more appropriate profession, such as fish cleaner or stall mucker.

Go Away,

The Editors

And that's not fair, because in the publishing industry the gatekeepers are inundated with hundreds of--let's face it, sometimes desperate--writers every day. Sometimes a form rejection letter (more likely e-mail) is all they have time for; sometimes they don't have time even for that. There are lots of things to complain about with the publishing industry, but on an individual basis the people working there are pretty decent.

Still, writers get more rejections than a nerd at a sports bar, and I should know. (Just kidding--I never went to sports bars.) In fact, if you're doing it right you're going to get lots and lots of rejections. But sometimes, especially if you're having a down day overall, your umpteenth rejection will show up and just hit you harder than most. That's what happened to me, anyway.

When I first started out, back in the days of snail mail delivered by the Pony Express, I collected enough form rejection letters to paper my office walls ... which would have looked better than the wallpaper I actually had at the time. Later I'd get the occasional encouraging note at the end of one. Then I'd get brief, but personal, rejections. Then more detailed ones, and then, one day, an acceptance. A few times after that, I received some detailed letters describing why they were rejecting the manuscript, or even asking for some changes and a resubmission. Now it's decades since I started out: I have nine published books, and stories in three anthologies.

And I still get form rejection letters.

So yeah, it gets me down sometimes, especially this time of year when the days are short. But after all this time, I've developed a method of dealing with these bouts of sudden depression: I go to my laptop, open up a word document ...

And start working on another story.

It doesn't get me published ... well, not immediately. But it does remind me of why I'm doing this to begin with.