Slightly Off the Mark

Some photos I took at an Albion Fire Department training earlier this summer. As I recall, the temperatures got into the high 80s that day ... that's good weather for spraying water. After all, this is Indiana--it's not like the humidity could go up any more.

The photography part was spur of the moment this time, so these are cell phone photos ... although cell phone cameras are getting a lot better, these days. Considering how much I love taking pictures, I should keep the regular camera closer.

If you're in northeast Indiana, you probably heard of the fire at the old McCray factory in Kendallville, which took half a day to control and came closer than most people realize to taking out part of the city's historic downtown. The fire burned so hot that it was actually visible on local weather radars, and eighteen fire departments were called in to fight it. (For you big city folk, that would be about five alarms.) Over the course of the night, they extinguished two other roof fires and patrolled downwind as sparks and flying brands dropped over the whole city.

I guess what I'm saying is, it was a big fire. Here's the Noble County Sheriff Department drone video from the day after:

https://www.facebook.com/171131589596429/videos/1771163106259928

And here's a report on the fire from the Fort Wayne TV station, WPTA21 (That's the same station that interviewed me twice after book releases).

http://www.wpta21.com/story/38338863/fire-crews-battle-fire-in-downtown-kendallville

And here's the Kendallville News-Sun article on it:

http://www.kpcnews.com/newssun/article_6473bad0-9bce-5059-be37-398991d7ff7a.html 

 The building was huge--much bigger than you could tell from driving down Main street--and mostly out of use for some years. That's too bad, too, because it was once a large part of the Kendallville economy, and manufactured refrigerators that went out across the world. Donations from the McCray family led to, among many other things, the local Lakeside Hospital being named after them, until it eventually became Parkview Noble Hospital. So, the company was obviously successful and influential for many years. All because of ... meat. 

I got to thinking about it after the fire, and remembered the building was represented in our book Images of America: Albion and Noble County. Just for fun, instead of finding the photo I actually took a picture of the book page itself:

 

You can buy this book at www.markrhunter.com, or on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Albion-Noble-County-Images-America-ebook/dp/B014I412XW, because: always be selling.

As you can see from the caption, the McCrays were simply selling their meat and poultry products, and got so successful at it that they were having trouble keeping their products fresh. So ... why not just invent a refrigerator of their own? They did that, getting a patent in 1882, and in 1890 founded the McCray Refrigeration Co. The result was over 300,000 square feet of manufacturing space. 

McCray was for decades the biggest manufacturer of commercial refrigerators, anywhere, and its jobs supported a third of Kendallville's population. Founder Elmer McCray's daughter married an heir to the Coca-Cola fortune, and when Elmer McCray died in 1938 his body had a police escort, with thousands attending his funeral.

All gone, now. Although ... not quite. To this day, you can still buy a Howard-McCray commercial refrigerator.

Sunday was a great day for a grass fire. 

No, not that kind of grass, although wildland fires can make your day go to pot.

It's that time of year. People get cabin fever, and at the drop of a match they're using any excuse to get outside, and fire is cool. (It's not really cool, it's hot. Just wanted to clarify.) Fence rows, weedy hills, brush piles, trash, unruly lawns, meth labs, unwanted relatives, whatever. And they inevitably say, if only to themselves, one of three things:

1. "What could possibly go wrong?"

     (A phrase that has become such a cliche that anyone who thinks it should automatically be horsewhipped. Do they still make horsewhips? Maybe in Amish country.)

2. "I'll be right back--this will only take a minute."

     (See above comment.)

3. "I've got it under control."

We once pulled up to a field fire that was burning around three sides of a house. When we knocked on the door to alert the occupants, this guy opened up and told us it was a controlled burn, and the fire department wasn't needed. He was wearing a towel.

     Yes, he'd been in the bathtub.

 This is not the definition of a controlled burn.

In northern Indiana, things don't get nearly as bad as out west--just bad enough. Wildland fire season (it's usually ground fires: fields or woods) lasts for a couple of months, from the time the snow melts until all the foliage greens up enough so it won't burn. We sometimes have another fire season in the fall, and if a drought strikes all bets are off. But the problem in the spring is that the ground is often still saturated from snow melt, so much so that even four wheel drive fire trucks can't go off road, which is fine if there's nothing off road that can be damaged or is, say, in the path of the fire. At the same time, people think "Hey--if the ground's so wet, the fire won't spread. I've got it under control!"

Meanwhile, one inch above that wet ground, anything that's been dead since last fall dries out after about an hour of sun and breeze. I've seen six foot flames burning over standing water in swamps. That's me on the other side, waiting on the shore for it to get to me ... I've seen all those SyFy movies with mutated alligators.

I'll be over here.

So I looked at the weather forecast last week and realized the next day would be perfect for what we call grass fires. (At least until they get to other stuff; then we call them house fires, barn fires, car fires, unwanted relative fires, whatever.) It would be a Sunday, sunny, with a temperature in the low fifties. There would be just enough of a breeze to spread fire, but not enough to make people worry about it. We're a small town volunteer fire department, and we still once made 17 calls in one day under those conditions.

Grass fires spreading to cars are pretty common. Boats, not so much ... but as you can see, it happens.

 So, instead of the pajama pants I usually wear around the house (days off equal writing time on the couch), I put on jeans--and socks, and since it was only in the low fifties, a sweatshirt. I put my shoes right in front of the couch. The keys were on the ledge by the front door, the car backed in to allow for a quick entrance, my pager on my belt. As busy as my life's been lately, it's probably the most prepared I've been for a call in ten years.

Then I listened, as surrounding departments started getting called out. Kendallville FD, grass fire; Cromwell FD, grass fire; Noble Township FD, grass fire; Avilla FD, grass fire; Ligonier FD, car-pedestrian accident.

Ah, the unexpected.

Also unexpected: The Albion Fire Department, with is 96 square mile, mostly rural response area, didn't get called out at all that day.

I'm thinking of renting myself out as a fire prevention tool. You pay me ahead of time, and I'll show up at your firehouse fully dressed, with my fire gear beside me, ready to accompany you to a fire at an instant's notice. Then, there will be no fire. I'll get money, your community will remain safe, and if nothing else I'll get some quality reading time. (I'm reading American Gods at the moment.)

What could possibly go wrong?

Just a grass fire? When crops like wheat catch on fire it does honest to goodness financial harm.

The aftermath. It was totally under control, then came the running and the panic and the 911 calls.

Note: This is from late November, back before the snow flew. I held onto it, hoping some pictures that involved no snow would cheer me up come winter. They didn't.

 A few photos of Albion firefighters refilling a brush truck's water tank and preparing to go back into service, after fighting a cornfield fire north of Albion. No serious damage was reported, although the fire did threaten a combine operating in the field. It was that time of year when farmers were hurrying to get their harvest done before winter weather sets in.

The Albion Fire Department's annual fish fry -- which happens annually -- will be Wednesday, June 7th, during the Chain O' Lakes Festival. We're also having tenderloin again this year, for those of you inclined, although I can't imagine why you'd want to pass on the breaded fish. It's all you can eat, and you can't beat that unless you're a diet doctor.

I can't be there (I'll be helping to bread the fish earlier in the day, and it's one of those scheduling things where I can't do both). However, they tell me copies of Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights: A Century Or So With The Albion Fire Department will be on sale at the fish fry, for $9.95. That's our book about the history of the fire department: Proceeds from book sales, as with the fish fry itself, go to the Albion Fire Department's equipment and training fund.

 So come and support your local emergency volunteers! It's from 5 p.m. – 7:30 p.m. at the Albion Fire Station, 210 Fire Station Drive, on the east end of town.  (It's traditional, when a town has a Fire Station Drive, to build the fire station there.) Price for adults is $10, for children $6, with children 5 and under eating free.

"Bingo!" You've won! This is so much more fun than when you and your buddies got drunk and had that nose hair plucking contest!

And here's your prize. Powered by D-cell batteries, it's three speed, in brilliant white plastic--real plastic, not that fake stuff. You look at it, puzzled. Is this some kind of back massager? And then the realization hits you:

You've won a sex toy.

Well done, sir (um, or ma'am)! Your Valentine's Day gift-giving dilemma is over.

That's how they roll at the Hometown Volunteer Fire Company in Schuykill County, Pennsylvania. Their idea of "hometown" appears to be at odds with what I would imagine. But like any volunteer fire department, the Hometown Fire Company has the ongoing challenge of finding enough money to stay in operation. The good news is, they appear to have hit the jackpot, or rather the bingo: Naughty Bingo.

Naughty Bingo night is March 11, and I know you're interested. I assume it'll be held at the fire station, which is already chock full of talk about nozzles, hose, pumpers, and squirting of various sorts. And you thought a hose bed was just for hose.

Hometown tried it for the first time last year, reasoning that their supporters were getting tired of all the old fundraising tropes. I mean, you can only have so many fish fries, pancake breakfasts, porkburger sales, chicken ... mmm, I'm hungry. Where were we?

Oh, yes. They decided to try something new, and it brought in a standing-room only crowd from several counties in two states. (New Jersey. Go figure.) Just 160 tickets were sold, and they were snapped up faster than a leopard-skin whip at a San Francisco clearance sale. Do they make leopard-skin whips? Wait, don't tell me.

The firefighters, already well known for finding 'em hot and leaving 'em wet, were understandably concerned about community reaction. But everyone seems to love the idea--maybe because it beat raising taxes. Really, with fund raisers it's already a small step from sex toys to bratwurst. "Now remember, this is silicone: Don't try to put it in a bun. Wait, let me rephrase that ..."

The real question people should be asking themselves is: Why should emergency responders have to spend enormous amounts of their time begging for it? Money, I mean? If there's one area that should be fully funded, this is it.

Maybe every government department should have to do fund raisers:

The parks department could set up a lingerie football league.

The water department can host wet t-shirt contests.

And, of course, the street department would have ... street walkers.

Until that time comes, it seems to be mostly small fire departments that need to get a stiff shot of cash by raising funds. If they have to do that, then I say let them do whatever gets their finances up--we've already had racy firefighter calendars of both sexes, so maybe this was the next logical step.

And if Naughty Bingo is here, then strip poker can't be far behind. I'd better start working out.