My Humor Isn't All That's Dry in Indiana

SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK

 

Author’s note: The day I wrote this, it rained all night for the first time in months, and we got another half an inch of rain today. Coincidence? Yeah, probably, but I’m taking credit.

 

            You know you’re having a bad day when your home town leads on The Weather Channel.

            It hasn’t been quite that bad for northeast Indiana, but mostly because everyone else is having horrible weather, too. “Flooding in Florida, wildfires in Colorado, politicians in West Virginia … and after this commercial break, crop failure in the Midwest.”

            I maintain that when the breadbasket starts charring around the edges, that’s pretty bad news – especially if you like to eat. Of course, I also maintain that The Weather Channel is so busy leaping on the reality show bandwagon that they’ve forgotten the weather, anyway, so what do they know?

            Last time I checked, this area was about eight inches short of the normal amount of rain for the year. That’s pretty bad. We’ve learned a little lesson about the so called “dry heat” around here – we usually have very humid summer weather, and when I saw a humidity reading of 20% the other day I thought I was looking at Congressional approval poll results. (What does it say about America that 20% of us are morons, or at least ignorant?)           

( I remember summers where the best way to get through the humid air was to make swimming motions with your arms. Now it’s so dry trees are chasing dogs around. “Pee here! Pee here!” )