column: Sinus Season Starts; Sickness Ensues

 

Sorry I've been scarce; I've started on three new medications for various problems within the last two weeks, and they've pretty much kicked my butt through a wall. If I don't feel better by Christmas I'm having my body amputated.

 

 

SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK

 

                I’ve been fighting the mother of all sinus infections this week … which is not a comment about my mother, mind you.

                Why are really big things called “The Mother Of”, anyway? Seems a bit insulting to mothers. You know what? I’ve been fighting the cousin of all sinus infections. Think that cousin from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, who shows up with his brood, parks his RV on your lawn, and can’t be kicked off the property without a nuclear exchange.               

( I haven’t talked about it much because I get sick all winter, every winter, and I can only get at best three columns out of that before I get boring even by my standards. Illnesses around the holidays are a tradition in my household, like fruitcake, and just as welcome. The only real difference this year is that I’ve been battling some extra-intense back pain at the same time; but if I had a dime for every time my back hurt I could pay for a spine transplant. )