Slightly Off the Mark

Happy National Public Safety Telecommunicators Week!

Wed, 15 Apr 2026 22:25:56 GMT

It's Photo Wednesday! Which I just made up. Only it's not--in this case it's Meme Wednesday, which I also just made up, although I'd imagine I'm not the first. Somebody should make a meme about that.

So instead of my photos, I'm posting images about what I like to call Dispatchers Week, because National Public Safety Telecommunicators Week really doesn't roll off the tongue.

I spent over three decades as a full time dispatcher, and now I'm a part time dispatcher until our books start pulling in, oh, five figures. Should happen any minute now.

When I came back, one of the first things I noticed is that we now have a dispatch goose, who tends to change clothes a lot and goes by the name Gertrude. No, I don't know why.

I think most of my coworkers are glad to have me back, so I can teach the newbies about puns and inappropriate humor. Or, it could be because we're shorthanded at the moment. It turns out we're supposed to do this job 24 hours a day--who knew?

How do I keep going? Ibuprofen and Mountain Dew.

When I first started in the emergency services, some 45 years ago, I was told I'd never make it in the business if I didn't drink coffee. In the time since, I've had exactly one cup of coffee, at a winter mobile home fire when the temperature was below zero. I'd have drunk antifreeze, if it was hot enough. These days, most of the other dispatchers don't drink coffee either. I have no explanation for this, although when you pick up a 911 call and someone immediately screams in your ear, that tends to keep you awake for awhile.

Anyone in this business can tell you there are, indeed, stupid questions. But here's the interesting thing: Often the person who calls in and apologizes for wasting our time, then spends five minutes trying to convince us it's nothing, has a legitimate complaint. People who ask stupid questions usually have no idea we're pretending to shoot the phone while listening to them.

This is exactly why our moods, like our shifts, can veer in any direction in an instant. Except when we have visitors. When people are watching, nothing happens.

It's one of the most important jobs there is, because we're the first first responders. If we don't take the call, none of the other first responders know to respond. Unless there's a fireball on the horizon, or something.

So thank you for your dedicated work, dispatchers! With you in mind, there's a minor character in my Storm Chaser series who is, indeed, a night shift dispatcher. You can tell by how grouchy he is.

Fires and other emergencies tend to pop up a lot in our books, both fiction and nonfiction. Check us out!

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: People who read are much more likely to remember the number for 911.

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Writing: On Putting Conflict Into Stories

Fri, 10 Apr 2026 13:02:24 GMT

I've had to explain to people that the events of the movie Apollo 13 really happened. They couldn't believe such a string of disasters could strike one space mission, or that the astronauts could have actually survived.

But the unrealistic part was the personal conflict. The astronauts yelled at each other, the ground crew yelled at each other, the astronauts yelled at the administrators ... it was a yell fest. Front and center was when Fred Haise blamed newbie Jack Swigert for not checking pressure levels before stirring the oxygen tanks, which led to the initial explosion.

Never happened. These people trained and practiced constantly, and were notorious cool under pressure. They didn't lose their tempers to the extent shown in the movie: they were rational, level headed, and team oriented. Why were they scripted differently?

Because a story needs conflict.

Conflict!

There was plenty of excitement in that story, but by adding conflict between the characters, the writers upped the tension and made the audience care more about the story. Go listen to the audio from the real Apollo 13 accident. They don't sound like they're in a life or death situation: They sound like a minor inconvenience broke out.

"Uh, Houston, Apollo 13 ... we've had a problem. A TP problem."

"Say again?"

"Houston, we've run out of toilet paper up here, and Fred has to take a big one. Well, leave a big one."

"Roger, Apollo 13, copy he's venting."

A problem with many writers is that they don't put in enough conflict. That includes me. I like my characters--I want them to get along. Sure, my good guys fight bad guys, but they got along with each other no matter how bad things were going. In real life, that's desirable; in fiction, it's boring. After all, a lot of what makes the reader happy are things you wouldn't want to have happen in real life. The Apollo 13 crew wanted a nice, uneventful walk on the Moon.

I still struggle with that, especially with my romance stories. I won't let my lovers be torn apart by something they could fix just by talking to each other. I poke fun at that in Radio Red: There's a scene where Kirsten gets mad at Aaron over something easily explained--until he easily explains it. Within minutes it's cleared up, leaving her embarrassed ... and leaving me to find other ways to keep them apart. (I don't think anyone caught on that I was poking at the trope.) If you're a writer, remember that conflict is important, but it can't be artificial. Don't have your characters fight over something ridiculous.

Conflict in Apollo 13 would have been understandable--those guys were literally in a life or death situation. So make sure your characters don't always get along--if it makes sense with them and the story.

Even in the future, stories must have conflict.

Here's an example of how I added conflict to my romantic comedy, The Notorious Ian Grant. It's kind of an easy example, though. It's Ian's first meeting in several years with his sister, Allie (the star of Storm Chaser), and to say the two haven't gotten along is putting it mildly:

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By the time everyone took a full plate to the dining area downstairs, and Ian headed for the sink to rinse out cans for recycling, he figured he had some karmic points that might come in handy later.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Or maybe I need those karmic points right now.

He turned slowly. He’d been watching for his family, but didn’t realize there was another entrance from outside, at the back of the kitchen. Behind him everyone who’d helped with the food had stayed upstairs, and now paused in the middle of getting themselves a meal from the leftovers. Ian glimpsed one already full plate in front of an empty chair, and figured it must be for the latecomer – and building owner.

“Hey, Al. So … you still mad about me blowing up your Malibu Barbie?”

Allison Craine stood in the doorway, hands on hips and rage on face. “Who let you in? I thought I had this place sprayed for pests.” Her chocolate hair was braided tight against her head, and everything else was covered with mud: work boots, jeans, oversized flannel shirt, right up to the fine features of her face. She could easily pass for someone Beth’s age, if that someone had been playing in a mud pit.

“I missed you, too.” Looks like I’m sleeping in the car tonight. Moving cautiously forward, he gestured toward the empty spot at the table. Look, we made a plate for you.”

“It’s actually for you,” Heather whispered. Beth shushed her.

“If you were involved, I’d check it for alcohol.” Allie stalked forward, fists clenched, until she came face to face with her brother. “What are you doing here? We have enough trouble.”

“I came here to help.” He dropped the last can into her recycling bin. “See? Also, I gave up drinking over a year ago.”

“You –" She rolled her eyes. “You did not.”

“I was there –"

“Just last month you were seen dirty dancing with that Bethani girl.”

Heather gasped.

“Al, that wasn’t –"

“In the middle of Hollywood Boulevard!”

“She was drunk, not me – I was trying to keep her from getting run over, and you of all people know how the scandal sheets love to change the facts. If you’d picked up the phone, I could have told you.”

“What possible reason would I have to speak with you?”

“So I can apologize!” He heard his voice rising, and knew it was the wrong reaction, but couldn’t stop himself. For the last year he’d tried to clean up his act, and nobody believed him. “It’s all well and good that you’re everybody’s Pulitzer Prize winning darling, but some of us have to atone for what we did in our youth. I can’t make things right if nobody will let me try.”

“Do you have any idea what you did to me over the years?”

“Of course I do.” Ian looked over his shoulder at the silent table, mostly women and teenagers, with Fran the closest. Two men wearing blue fire department t-shirts stood frozen in the other doorway, and he realized it was Chance and the firefighter from earlier, Rich. So … an audience.

“I showed up drunk at Allie’s coming out party. I wrote a book about our dad – for money. I posed for a skin magazine, smoked and drank and partied my way through my twenties, fought with bouncers, and drag raced my way across California. I blew all my money in Vegas and then took jobs in bad B movies to make more. I ruined her childhood and mine by fighting with dad, throwing things, running away, and giving drunken interviews, and I slept with her best friend.”

Ian paused to catch his breath. Total silence reigned until he turned back to his sister.

“Who needs to make up for what they’ve done more than I do?”

But Allie shook her head. “How can I trust you now? Wherever you go, trouble follows.”

The kitchen window exploded inward.

Someone shrieked as glass shot across the room between the dining table and the kitchen. Ian felt shards dig at his bare arm and saw others spatter across Fran, in the seat closest to him.

For an instant afterward Ian heard nothing but the tinkling of falling glass. His gaze went from the shattered window across the room to the wall, where a small hole showed at head height. “Hey … that’s a bullet hole.”

Before he finished speaking Fran launched herself from her chair. Behind her Chance shoved Rich into the hallway with one hand and pointed with the other: “Everybody get down!” Ian saw no more because Fran slammed into him, driving him into Allie, and all of them into the sheltered space behind the kitchen island.

“Get off me!”

Ian rolled away, slammed into the island, then yelped when silverware showered over him. He scooped up a butter knife and started to get to his knees, but Fran waved him down. She had her pistol out, and crouched at the end of the island while speaking urgently into her portable radio. Of the others Ian could hear only rustling and panicked whispers.

“Sis, you okay?” He looked over at Allie, who’d scooted to sit with her back to the stove and grabbed up a spoon. “I think we’d be better off with silver bullets, instead of silverware.”

“This is your fault!” She brandished the spoon at him.

“My fault? This is your place, how is it my fault?”

Fran glanced back at them, looking disgusted. “Excuse me, we just got shot at.”

“But seriously, my fault?”

“Because you’re here!” Suddenly realizing what she held, Allie threw the spoon down and reached for a fork. “How often has this place been shot at before? Never, until you arrived.”

“Oh, come on. Who’d want to kill me?” Even as he said it, faces and names flashed by.

“Ex-girlfriends, husbands of ex-girlfriend –“

“I’d never –“

“Property owners, judges, cops, producers, directors, creditors, bookies –“

“Don’t forget music moguls.”

“And all your relatives! And my best friend from high school.”

“She still likes me.”

“She has a voodoo doll of you.”

“That explains my chronic neck pain ...”

“That’s not where she stabs it.”

Suddenly Ian realized Fran had disappeared around the island. “Fran?”

“Fran?” Allie repeated. She crept toward the end of the island. “Chance?”

“Be careful.”

“Get stuffed. Chance!”

They both jumped when Fran appeared around the corner again, at a crouch but holstering her weapon. “Help’s right around the corner. We just need to sit tight until they’ve cleared us.”

“Oh, good.” Allie turned to glare at her brother. “Until next time.”

“Hey … maybe it was debris from the tornado.” Even as he spoke, Ian knew how ridiculous that sounded.

“The tornado three days ago?”

“Maybe Dorothy’s house just landed,” murmured Fran, as she tried to peek out the nearest window.

“Look …” Ian put the knife down and held his hands out toward Allie. “If this turns out to be my fault in any way, I’ll gladly pay the damages.”

“And get out of my life?”

“Yes, but in the meantime I’ve got something very important to ask you.”

Eyes narrowed, Allie gestured with the fork. Not a friendly gesture. “What?”

“Can I spend the night here?”

The books of the Storm Chaser series, and all of our other published works, are hanging around, just waiting to be read:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: It’s hard to get into conflict if you’re busy reading.

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Black Pine Animal Sanctuary

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 02:05:32 GMT

Last fall I visited Black Pine Animal Sanctuary and, as one does, took pictures. Last month I decided to do a photo post around the middle of every week, so ... there you go. We're blessed to have BPAS only a couple of miles from our home in Albion, and Chain O' Lakes State Park just a little further out.

For some reason, this photo makes me think of politics. I don't know why.

Honestly, I'd rather face a big cat than a primate. Having said that, I was happy to have all of them on the other side of a fence.

My full body photo of this guy didn't come out, but this one is a lot scarier. Ostrich, yes, or ... dinosaur? The time I saw him before this he nibbled on my arm a little.

I have a bad habit of not getting the names of the animals, or even their species. This one, obviously, is not an ostrich. However, I did get its name: Petronus.

Turtle! Alligator photos didn't come out through the window--but I was happy to have that window. My secret to photography is to take lots and lots of pictures, in the hopes one or two will come out.

Emily says I have a way with animals. I don't know, but some of the humans with me noticed a lot of Black Pine's occupants keeping an eye on me. Maybe they were wondering if I taste like chicken.

If you want to pay a visit, or donate--and you should--check them out here:

https://www.bpsanctuary.org/

Black Pine rescues exotic animals who've been neglected or mistreated, then give them a good home for the rest of their lives. Pictures are fine, but there's nothing like seeing these guys with your own eyes.

Of course, you also might want to support ours writing! I believe Mufasa, a former resident of Black Pine, appears in Images of America: Albion and Noble County.

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Without books, we’d all be animals.

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book review: The Pun Also Rises

Sat, 04 Apr 2026 21:15:55 GMT

The branch of humor called punning has roots planted much further back in history than wood normally be guessed. John Pollack peels back the leaves of history to ...

That's enough. It's a book about puns, okay?

John Pollack has the credentials: He was an actual world pun champion, and also a political speechwriter, so he knows silly when he sees it. I'm talking about the political thing--it turns out puns were sometimes taken much more seriously than we take them these days.

Pollack traces puns back to the very formation of language itself, showing us examples from the earliest writing, and how they were used to assist communication, and later as a way to avoid censorship and undermine the status quo. Along the way, wordplay led to fatal duels, academic arguments, and a whole lot of groans and forehead slapping.

https://www.amazon.com/Pun-Also-Rises-Revolutionized-Language/dp/1592406750

Pollack's writing can sometimes be a bit dense, as he tackles entomology--no, wait, etymology. My aunt used to study entomology. Anyway, he dives into history, politics, language, and all the ways puns have been used and misused throughout history. Despite a heavy dose of--wait for it--puns, it's not always a bedtime read, unless you suffer from insomnia.

Of course, if you don't like puns you might want to stay away.

“That’s what they call a sanity clause.” “You can’t fool me, there ain’t no Sanity Claus.”

But for those of us who have even a passing interest in how language has evolved over the centuries and how it affected everything else, it's a fascinating read. Check it out. I mean, if you're in the library--otherwise, buy it.

Take a look at our books; and if you’re a particular fan of wordplay, try The Notorious Ian Grant or Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving at All.

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: To play on words can be painful, especially if you land on an X.

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Grandkids, We Got Grandkids

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 03:31:13 GMT

It's way past time for me to post more pictures of my youngest daughter's kids, of whom there are three, sort of.

The oldest is Lilli, who's big on cheer-leading and giving her grandpa hugs.

Next is Willa, who didn't warm up to me until I showed her pictures I took--of her.

Zander still doesn't know what to think of me. Poor guy--including step-siblings, he's surrounded by girls.

Jill decided to stop at three, what with all the exhaustion and everything. Double that if you add the step-kids, who haven't been around for me to take pictures of.

But, you know ... stuff happens. And this stuff will be happening along in August.

A boy! That should even out the odds for Zander, a little.

If you have a lot of kids, sometimes it’s easier to stay at home with books:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Every book you buy helps Grandpa pay for Christmas presents.

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I'm Back Dispatching, but Still Writing

Sat, 28 Mar 2026 19:20:37 GMT

So, I'm back to work as a dispatcher.

Just part time, mind you. This still might come as a shock to some, because I've said the job was having an impact on my mental and emotional health. You know, that stuff you used to make fun of when you were younger. Well, I used to.

But this is part time, and I think as long as I limit working long shifts I should be okay. I did feel bad for anyone who didn't want me to come back, but not too bad. More importantly, I felt bad about all the fuss that was made over me leaving, and--here I am again! Seriously, the other dispatchers threw me a party and sent me off with a lot of swag.

They get me.

Some people, when they found out I was returning, asked if I was bored.

No.

I've never understood people who go to work just because they can't seem to think of anything else to do. I have hundreds of books to read, and dozens to write, and that by itself is more than enough to keep me busy. Bored? I'll admit, the first month I mostly just slept, but I have trails to hike, podcasts to hear, museums to visit, and I'm nowhere near caught up on Marvel movies and TV. (Do better, DC.) And grandkids!

Bored? What, do you live at the BMV?

I feel like I earned my retirement. And I do get retirement benefits, which--yay! Lots of people can't count on that. Still, my income, even when added to early Social Security, is short of what I was making on the job.

About, I'd estimate, $12,000 a year short.

I'd have to sell 25,000 books to make up that difference. Okay, I don't really know how many--a lot of factors are involved. But last year we sold around 750, and that's way too few zeroes.

(*NOTE* The royalty statement arrived from Arcadia Publishing: They moved 405 copies of Haunted Noble County and 9 copies of Images of America: Albion and Noble County. So the grand total of books sold in 2025: 979. So close to my 1,000 book goal!)

Anyone who follows the publishing business can tell you being an author is getting harder, not easier. Even if I did sell that many books this year, I wouldn't know for sure until the royalty statements started arriving a few months into 2027.

Not that I won't try selling more. But part of the time I planned to spend writing will have to go toward paying the bills, at least until that three book, six figure deal comes in.

And maybe after, but that's another story.

You don’t have to call 911 to find our books:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: If you stay home reading, you might not have to call 911.

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Ladder Truck vs. Courthouse: A Look at Ladder 99

Wed, 25 Mar 2026 15:16:58 GMT

The Albion Fire Department has had a ladder truck for a couple of years (and I took these photos last summer, so I'm way behind), so I thought I'd give you the lowdown on it. These photos were taken when the truck was called to the Noble County Courthouse, to help remove some debris from a gutter--and it made for great training.

(We did have a hook and ladder wagon when we first formed in 1887, but that was because hauling apparatus to the scene by hand meant you had to have your hose, pump, and ladders/tools divided up to make lighter loads.)

We got a great deal on a used truck: A brand new apparatus of this type runs a million dollars or more. AFD Ladder 99 is a quint: In addition to the aerial ladder and associated equipment, it carries a fire pump, a water tank, and a supply of hose.

Some firefighters hate quints, which basically combine a fire engine with a ladder truck. As a result, they say, there's not enough room for the full amount of equipment one of those alone would usually carry. The advantage is that some of the most critical ladder company operations need to be done right away, and how that truck is positioned is critical--in other words, there are advantages to it being first on the scene.

But even if all the seats are filled, how do you accomplish both fire attack and ventilation/rescue operations at the same time? It's a question I'm addressing in a novel-in-progress, and the argument will continue.

Why is it called Ladder 99 if we only have one? Each fire department in Noble County has a different number. Back in the day it was planned to be in alphabetical order, with Albion being Base 10, but we didn't adapt it for many years and so the Kendallville Fire Department took that number. As a result Albion eventually took the last number, so our first out engine is Engine 91, the water tankers are 94 and 95, and so on. It was the same with individual members, which is why I was Fire 914 for many years.

The aerial ladder is 105 feet, which means we can reach the main floors of the courthouse, and a stream of water from the tip of the ladder could easily reach the clock tower. Here's hoping that never becomes necessary. Fire department ladder trucks are often called on to help with such things as hanging town decorations and, oh, keeping the recently renovated courthouse from getting water damage.

I stopped being an active firefighter just before Ladder 99 came along, so I've only climbed up and down an aerial a few times. There's no easy way to do it. But when it's position isn't too steep, it's a little like climbing downhill on a steep bridge. Do they make steep bridges? I hope not.

Outriggers are set on heavy metal plates to stabilize the truck when the aerial is up. You don't want to overturn your truck. You really don't.

Ladders? Oh yeah, we got ladders. Sometimes, due to power lines, trees, setbacks, or other factors, you can't get the aerial where you want it, and that's where the ground ladders come in. A ladder company isn't just a truck: It's the truck, the equipment it carries, and the trained manpower onboard that work together to accomplish the job. If a truck shows up with empty compartments and no passengers, it's ... a truck.

Quints are becoming more common around the area. Remember that if you see them at a scene where the aerial ladder isn't raised, that doesn't mean the rest of the equipment isn't in use.

You can find out all about that original hook and ladder, and the first century of the AFD's history, in Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights: a Century Or So With the Albion Fire Department.

You can find our books burning up the internet in various places:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Reading about fires is way more comfortable than experiencing them.

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Breaking Wind With Twisted Twisters

Fri, 20 Mar 2026 11:42:56 GMT

Some say the best advice when it comes to tornadoes is to keep your insurance paid up and update your will.

My advice is just as simple: At the beginning of March, dig a big hole in your back yard, then get into it wearing a helmet and one of those "Red man" protective suits a police dog can't penetrate. Then have the hole lined in concrete and covered with an armored steel plate. The order of this is very important: Get in the hole before you have it sealed off with concrete and steel. You might want to bring in some water, snacks, a portable toilet, maybe a book to read, and, of course, a bottle of oxygen.

(I would suggest you take along my novel Storm Chaser. 'Cause--theme.)

Take a dog along for company and padding. If he looks worried, you should, too.

Now wait until, say, November. Then, since winter will be approaching, but hurricane season is past, move to the Gulf Coast. Because tornado season down there is pretty much year round, you'll have to dig another hole and buy more concrete and steel. Vicious cycle.

Okay, a quick review of weather terms. A severe thunderstorm watch means you might get severe thunderstorms. A severe thunderstorm warning means the light show has already started. I don't really get what's hard about that, but it still confuses people.

Similarly, a tornado watch means conditions are right for a tornado to form, and you should, you know, watch. In the novel The Wizard of Oz that's literal, as Uncle Henry goes outside, watches, then announces, "There's a cyclone coming, Em ... I'll go look after the stock". At that point, it became a warning.

How he plans to protect the stock is unclear, but if there's one thing the movie Twister taught us, it's that you have to watch for low flying cows. Meanwhile, in the time it takes for Toto to hide under the bed and thus endanger Dorothy (man's best friend--hah), the cyclone is upon them and the next thing you know ... witch pancake.

Before you think you're safe from tornadoes, remember what one did to this chick.

If Henry only had a radio, TV, internet, alert scanner, or nearby siren, he might have had enough warning to look after the stock and make sure Em and Dorothy got the the cellar. The witch would still get smooshed, so--happy ending for all. Except for the Scarecrow on his pole and the rusted Tin Woodsman and the Winkies being terrorized by the other witch ... okay, bad example.

But hey, it was 1900. You don't have to literally watch anymore. You don't want to be under a cow when it drops in. Or a house.

A tornado warning means a tornado or funnel cloud has been spotted in your area. Over the years I've managed to take a few pictures of funnel clouds, which puts me in the camp of people who are too dumb to metaphorically (and sometimes literally) come in out of the rain. There are now millions of photos and videos of tornadoes; is it worth having one of your own? It is not.

Remember this easy rhyme: Red Sky In the Morning: You're Screwed.

What should you do if a tornado warning is declared? Go to a windowless interior room on the lowest level of your house. If you're in a building with no basement--what were you thinking? But lower is always better.

Windows are bad. Tornadoes, hurricanes, meteor strikes--it's amazing how many people get cut up by glass during natural disasters. (I'm not kidding about the meteor strikes: just ask the people in Chelyabinsk, Russia.)

Old timers used to crack a window to equalize pressure, or go to a specific corner of a room, but that's proven to be unhelpful. Besides, the tornado will take care of cracking all the windows. You're better off under a piece of sturdy furniture--Toto had the right idea--that you can hold onto. A small center room, such as a closet, or under a stairwell is good, and a bathtub might offer some protection.

Well, that can't be good.

So, let's review: Your safest location is in a bathtub that's in a closet under a stairwell in your basement. My bathroom is the size of a closet, so that's a start.

Actually, your safest location would be in the states of Alaska, Rhode Island, or Vermont, which each average less than one tornado a year. But this is the Midwest, under the tourism-attracting nickname of "Tornado Alley". Indiana ranks #14 in states for the number of tornadoes. If adjusted for square miles, our rank might be higher.

Okay, I just checked. In tornadoes per 10,000 square miles, Indiana ranks three. When it comes to killer tornadoes we're eight, and when it comes to the total length of a tornado path we're also eight. So there you go. Be afraid. It's only smart. And train your dog to go straight to the storm cellar.

Now, since tornado safety is really a serious subject, here are a couple of links to websites that treat things that way:

http://www.tornadoproject.com/safety/safety.htm

http://www.redcross.org/get-help/how-to-prepare-for-emergencies/types-of-emergencies/tornado#Before

You can find our books blowing around in various places:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Even in bad weather, you can read as long as your flashlight battery holds up.

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Chain O' Lakes in Winter

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 23:29:53 GMT

I take a lot of pictures--something that happens to already photo happy people who get access to a digital camera (or phone) and lots of storage. So, since some unidentified experts say we writer types should post twice a week, I thought it would be easy to do a photo post around mid-week.

I didn't take into account the fact that I'm of the generation with zero experience in transferring photos from, say, a camera to a laptop. It's not at all uncommon for writers to be clueless about things not writing related, but it's not like we want to admit it. So, I started with some photos I took when Emily and I walked along Sand Lake at Chain O' Lakes State Park.

It was, oh, about four thaw/freeze cycles ago. The temperature got above 60, which I know because neither of us go outside voluntarily if it's below that. Was it windy? Well, if you haven't been paying attention, we haven't had a day so far this year when it wasn't windy.

With that and a blue sky, the lake ice was getting a little, well ... weird. Strange holes and cracks were showing up everywhere, and in some places water was running in streams across the tops of the ice.

A branch was on the ice, close enough to a crack that I wondered if they weren't connected. Maybe some kids had thrown the branch out there, and also made the hole not far away. What's more fun than throwing stuff into a lake? Or maybe it was Mother Nature, who's been very moody this winter.

In any case, it was an attractive target for good photographers, and also for me.

It's nice getting out to a state park during the off season, when you can generally get some alone time and appreciate the beauty. And yes, despite what I say, there is a beauty to winter. Just the same, it's always nice to see a lot of people in warm weather. Not long now--I hope.

There’s bound to be more cold—and hot—weather coming up, so check out our books:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Buying books puts Spring in an author’s steps.

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Book Sales Numbers for 2025 ... Well, Some Sales Numbers

Sat, 14 Mar 2026 12:25:37 GMT

One of the strange things about the writing business is that it can be very difficult for an author to find out how well he's actually doing. How many sales did I make in 2025? I dunno. Somewhere between 500 and 10,000, but you can guess which extreme is closer.

For instance, I can tell you Emily and I sold 172 copies of Haunted Noble County, Indiana through direct sales last year. That includes author appearances, website orders, and copies sold by Butterfly Alley Books here in Albion, among other things.

Look! An author!

But that book is traditionally published. Arcadia Publishing not only has it on their website, they got it up on bookseller websites all over the place, and also attempted to get print copies sold in various local businesses and other places. When they did that with Images of America: Albion and Noble County, it appeared on the shelves at a Fort Wayne Barnes & Noble, and I encountered it on a rack at a local Walgreens. So, how many places carried print copies of Haunted Noble County?

No idea.

And How many copies of that book were sold through the publisher and all those websites?

No clue.

That's because publishers only send royalty statements every quarter or (in the case of this one) every six months. Images of America: Albion and Noble County sold 292 copies through Arcadia Publishing the first year it came out, 2015 (in August). I didn't find that out until March 29, 2016.

This will come as a shock to you, but the publishing industry in general is notorious for not keeping authors in the loop.

So when I tell you how many books we sold in 2025, it's a best estimate, which is 565.

That is, 565 copies of all 12 of our titles. Industry pundits will tell you the average number of sales for a new book are around 200 in the first year, and fewer than 1,000 in their lifetime. Is that true? I dunno. If it is, the Images of America book did pretty good. If Haunted Noble County sold about the same then we have reason to be proud, because 292 plus the 172 we know we sold is, let's see .... 464, twice that possibly true average.

But I can't count that higher number, yet. So I'm going with 565, which compares with 539 in 2022, 624 in 2023, and 492 in 2024 (a year in which we didn't release any new books). That's 2,215 copies sold in four years, not counting the Arcadia Publishing numbers. The breakdown for 2025:

172 Haunted Noble County, Indiana

113 Storm Chaser

110 Hoosier Hysterical

107 Coming Attractions

20 The Notorious Ian Grant

15 Storm Squalls

11 The No-Campfire Girls

6 Slightly Off the Mark

6 Images of America: Albion and Noble County

3 Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights

2 More Slightly Off the Mark

0 Radio Red (*sob*! But this is the one we're working on re-releasing.)

My goal this year is the same as last year: to sell a thousand books. Wish me better luck this time around.

Be counted! Find our books here:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Happy writers make for happy books.

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Tag! I'm It: 10 Random Facts About Me

Sun, 08 Mar 2026 14:59:09 GMT

I was tagged over on ... wait, where was it? The Book of Faces? The Stack of Subs? Well, somewhere, a lovely person named Author on Wheels tagged me to present 10 random facts about me, not related to writing.

I don't think Author on Wheels is their real name, but these days who knows?

Also, although it takes away some of the fun, I won't tag 10 other authors to do the same. I always thought it made people feel like they have to do something, and there are enough things we have to do in the main periods of our lives: childhood and adulthood.

Of course, for a lot of years now I've been telling people everything about me in my columns/blogs, so the real question is, can I surprise you with something interesting? Probably not.

10 random facts about me, not related to writing:

1) Everyone knows I was a volunteer firefighter, but the first time I crawled into a burning building, at age 18, the extent of my protective gear was a pair of pull-up thigh-length rubber boots. Other than that, it was jeans and a windbreaker. We don't do that anymore.

We were smoke eaters ... and young.

2) After graduating high school I moved seven times in seven years, without ever leaving town limits ... and now I've been in the same house for 36 years.

3) I only spent the night in a hospital once, with mono when I was fourteen. Now you have an idea of how extreme my dumb luck is.

4) As a youth I suffered from severe shyness (no, not the same as being an introvert, although there's that, too). But I got it in my head that I wanted to be an actor, and forced myself in high school to join drama club and choir, and take a speech class. To this day, I don't know where I got the courage.

5) I have a comical inability to do any kind of physical handiwork or maintenance whatsoever without completely screwing it up. It's why I prefer my tools to be electric: Small engines and I are not friends.

Now, destroying things isn't a problem.

6) When they were first married my parents had no money, so on the day the previous month's comic books were priced down they'd buy a stack, and read them over the weekend. This (and the Oz books they bought) is how I became an avid reader.

7) For my entire life I've had absolutely no interest in dressing to look good; as long as I'm warm, I'm fine. Emily has turned me around a little, though.

8.) Despite being allergic to cats, there's been at least one in my home most of my life. When I was a kid I thought everyone walked around with a stuffy nose.

You think shooting pool while sneezing is easy? It is not.

9.) The first time I ever got my picture in the paper was when I was very little and the first customer at a new store (My parents bought me a U.S. map puzzle). The article said I won a large stuffed animal, but I never received it.

10) I can raise or lower my own pulse rate. Sometimes I used that to mess with EMT students.

There are probably odder facts about me I haven't even thought of, but I can't think of them.

I’ve never blown up something while writing (well, except for that one laptop), so keep me out of trouble and buy our books here:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Reading is a low-risk activity.

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Yet Again, Coming Attractions is Free on Smashwords

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 06:22:42 GMT

Sometimes I get the feeling Smashwords wants Coming Attractions to always be free. This time, as they put it, it's the:

17th annual
Smashwords Read an Ebook Week
Super Sale, running March 1-7!

Only I'm not saying it so loudly. They seem to be making money, and honestly I don't get many sales of Coming Attractions there anyway, so why not free?

You can find the promo here: https://www.smashwords.com/shelves/promos starting--let me check--um, two days ago. This is a great chance to get the books of other authors, free or at a promotional discount. I only have one novel on Smashwords, along with two anthologies with my short stories in them, but those e-books will be free.

If you want to go directly to my account (who wouldn't?), it's at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914.

Treat yourself! And if you feel guilty treating yourself for free, you can find our other books all over:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: A free book rarely costs any money at all.

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Flaming Snowblower Update

Sun, 01 Mar 2026 20:55:31 GMT

So, we found out why our snowblower caught fire, and I think you'll find it ironic.

First of all, I was the only one who ever operated the snowblower. It's important to know that Emily shares none of the blame. It's also important to know that I did not attempt to fix it, so the self-repair restraining order was not violated. Emily, on the other hand, downloaded the user manual (thus bypassing my confused filing system), brought out the variable speed drill I bought for her birthday (I still have a scar), and dug right in.

As with our vacuum cleaner, the snowblower's belt can be reached through a panel. (My belt can be reached beneath the result of way too many cans of Mountain Dew.) I was actually able to put a new belt on the vacuum cleaner once, and it only took me three days. I figured in this case it had to be either the belt or the motor. When I realized the belt was on the opposite side of where most of the smoke came out, I got a bad feeling.

But we immediately saw the problem. Snow had gotten into the belt/pulley area, then melted a little, then froze solid, and the entire space was now packed with ice. We had to dig it out, then let the thing finish melting and dry off for a day.

It got a lot of snow on it when I used it, but in it?

In case any of you are as slow as I was: Our snowblower was killed BY SNOW.

But the belt was just fine. So after double checking it, we closed the panel back up, I plugged it in (outside), and pushed the button. It ran for three seconds and died, then smoke started coming out.

Two days later I hurt my back while using a snow shovel.

So I wrote this--again, perhaps ironically--with ice on my back, but my neighbor promised he'd take care of the snow removal. He has a normal sized, gas engine powered snowblower, but it still doesn't sit right by me. I want to do stuff myself! But sometimes, I suppose, I have to admit I can't anymore.

Which doesn't mean I'm not in the market for a new snowblower. Also, as of November the lawn mower is working just fine.

At least, it was.

Support my snowblower replacement fund! Find our books here:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Every book you buy relieves my back pain.

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Working Through Retirement Laziness

Sun, 22 Feb 2026 01:10:46 GMT

A lot of people asked what I planned to do after retirement.

Work, of course.

I'm taking early social security, and I also have a nice retirement benefit after 35 years, but between the two I'll still be making far less than I did on the job. That's okay, because I've always planned to work until I drop--I just wanted to do the work that, well, I wanted to do.

And so, there's the writing thing. But that doesn't mean I don't want to have some fun ... or take it easy, and the two aren't always the same thing.

I tried an air show at Pokagon State Park, but everyone wanted to get high.

Have you seen all those ads about retired people doing amazing things? Diving into pools, hiking the Appalachian Trail, taking the grandkids to Disneyland, being a roadie for The Rolling Stones ...

I've noticed a lot of those ads are from drug companies that medicate you into being able to do those amazing things. "Don't forget the side effects for Neweryu, the little chartreuse pill: forgetfulness, suicidal thoughts, spontaneous limb separation, anal leakage ... and don't take if you're allergic to Neweryu, or its ingredients that we haven't told you about. Neweryu, for a newer you!"

I'd be satisfied to be able to get out of bed without alerting the neighbors. "Hear that cracking, popping, groaning sound next door? Mark got up to mow his lawn."

As we drove through central Indiana a retirement activity hit me: I could restore tanks!

It used to take two hours to mow my lawn. Now it takes two days and five bottles of Gatorade.

What do the doctors say? "Eat right and exercise, get some fresh air!"

Fresh air? When Emily and I go to the park we don't use sunblock; we smear Icy Hot over ourselves. And not in a sexy way.

Actually, we use Biofreeze, which we get from our chiropractor. I'll have to stock up, because in a few years I'll be on Medicare, and I'm told they don't cover routine chiropractic treatment. Worse case scenario, if the pain gets too bad, somewhere back in the pantry there's a half bottle of rum from New Years Eve, 2011.

But let's go back to the doctors, who want me to exercise to cure the fact that I can't exercise. "Just walk a little way, to start." Well, what do you think I've been doing? The kitchen's a little way. On a related note, as for eating right--to heck with that. I'm going for steaks and chocolate. I don't know how many meals I have left; why pollute them with spinach and lettuce?

It's a great historic bridge, but ... where are the benches?

So yeah, I'm leaning toward taking it easy, more than gallivanting. Do people still gallivant? Probably not, but I have no desire to take polka lessons, or play pickleball. Pickleball is just anther sport to make me look foolish as my paddle/racket/stick thing swishes through the air for a clean miss.

But it could be worse. I'm trading two jobs in which I sat in a chair at a keyboard for one job in which I sit in a chair and keyboard, and that one is way less stressful. Less stress helps a lot. So if you see someone on the Appalachian Trail who looks like me ...

It's not me.

Support my retirement! Find our books here:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Every time an author retires, a typewriter gets it wings.

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Pet Sitting, and Dogs in General

Wed, 18 Feb 2026 23:37:12 GMT

I'm going to try to blog twice a week from now on: Some social media gurus think that's the optimum amount to stay visible without drowning in a sea of internet. I'm thinking a shorter blog midweek, maybe something about history, what with the 250th anniversary of the USA coming up.

Or pet pictures.

This is Indiana Jones, who goes by Indy for calling time reasons. He's my oldest daughter's dog--we pet-sat for him while she was out of town for a few days. He's a bit of a face licker, and Heaven help you if he gets through the door without a leash, but he's also very cuddly. Also, as we all know, happiness is a warm puppy, especially in winter. (He's not 2 yet, so close enough to puppy.) Unlike our beloved dog Beowulf, he's happy to be a foot (or side) warmer in bed all night.

Beowulf had a job and he knew it: Protect his humans, and guard his home. He rarely stayed in one place for longer than half an hour before he set off on patrol. Indy is way more laid back, although he'll let you know if he hears someone coming.

If I look a little rough in this photo, I was going through some back pain issues at the time. I doubt Indy would have let me put him on the couch and press my lower back against him for heat, but this time of year you can always find ice.

I looked a little better last time we took care of him.

Indy's very lovable, but generally Emily and I prefer larger dogs. Beowulf was big, and he could look a lot bigger when you didn't notice him coming. The dog I wrote into We Love Trouble is based on Beowulf, but is all black, much bigger, and has, shall we say, an unusual brain. (You haven't missed it--that novel is still in the submission process.)

We Love Trouble is a humorous murder mystery with ghosts in it--but the ghosts aren't directly involved in the murder. We'll see if that idea gets any bites.

Our books aren’t as cuddly as a warm puppy, but they’re just as entertaining and don’t have to go out to potty.

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Authors with pets depend on book sales for food. And bones.

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On Valentine's Day, Be Meme

Sat, 14 Feb 2026 20:21:15 GMT

I was going to write a loving Valentine's Day salute to my wife, otherwise known as sucking up. But I hurt my back (it's that or sickness every freaking holiday and anniversary), and the med I'm on has me hearing green, counting room spins, and rhyming "heart" with "barf". Instead, I ~~stole~~ chose some holiday related images.

When I started looking for fun images, the first thing I noticed is that there are a LOT of single people out there who are just a bit, shall we say, bitter.

I've been there, back in the olden days. Still, some are trying.

They're not necessarily doing well, but they're trying.

For we people who are taken, there's still a challenge. Well, not for the women so much, but for the men.

Been there, too. In fact, been there on Valentine's Day morning, every one of the last ten years.

My wife and I spend a lot of time together--she's doing work related to my writing career, while I selfishly just write, so you could say we're coworkers.

But that's cool, because we're both the boss, when that's okay with her.

And the strangest part is that after almost eight years of marriage we still get along, even when I annoy her, which is usually.

Cute. By the way, I'm much older than her, so that image isn't accurate. I looked for one, and let me give you a piece of advice: Don't Google "Older Man With Younger Women" unless you're sure of your safe search settings.

I love Emily lots. I even say it a lot, because I try not to take her for granted, even though I still sometimes do. I told her the other day that in addition to having her, I wouldn't have a writing career if she hadn't come along and started pushing me. I wouldn't have gone outside my comfort zone on some great vacations. I wouldn't have had the dog, who was our furry child.

I also wouldn't have to worry about Valentine's Day. But hey ... you make sacrifices for love.

As always, books make great gifts, and you can find ours in various places:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Sales, reviews, and other encouragement are love letters to authors.

comments

Olympic Sized Thoughts

Sat, 07 Feb 2026 19:51:35 GMT

(These aren't really Olympic sized thoughts--just small thoughts on the Olympics which, possibly, I wrote eight years ago. The thoughts, not the Olympics.)

Okay, let's not take it TOO seriously.

Probably the only downhill sport I'd have a chance of making it through would be sledding, otherwise known as luge or skeleton. That's because I'm incapable of standing on any moving object other than my own feet, and sometimes the feet part isn't easy.

But while I used to sled a lot, that was at, oh, ten miles per hour or so. Anyone who goes face first at seventy miles per hour ... well, there's a reason why it's called skeleton. Because "mangled body" seemed a little too obvious.

There is another kind of sledding in the Olympics, but apparently competitors are required to be named "Bob". There's only so much I'll do for my sport.

Speaking of sports in which I'd never made it to the end of the course, I've noticed that downhill skiers seem to be flying as much as they're skiing. Let's make it more interesting and fit them with small wings, just to see what happens.

I don't know this guy, but I'm very happy for his survival.

There's a skiing event that consists entirely of skiing down bumps. I can't stand to watch it: It kills my knees.

"Salchow" is pronounced "sow cow" ... and as such, just doesn't seem like a figure skating move.

That group snowboarding competition ... did some Olympic official happen to catch a NASCAR race and think, "That's what the winter Games needs: massive pileups!"

Figure skating has been a favorite of mine since I was a kid. But I'll be the first to admit that back then I was all about the ladies and the short skirts. Now that I'm older I'm still fascinated, because how the heck do they even--? I mean, try just standing on ice skates. Their routines are, according to the laws of physics, as impossible as me making it to the other end of the rink.

I never tried pairs figure skating because I don't like getting stitches.

It's a magic trick--try to disconnect the rings! Nice try.

I just watched a pair figure skate to music from Star Wars, and it made me realize Jedi would be fantastic athletes. Luke skiing, Anakin throwing Padme through about fifty spins on the ice, Vader as a bad boy snowboarder ... Yoda as a coach. Emperor Palpatine ruling the evil land just to the north (When I wrote this, the Olympics were in South Korea). R2D2 as a judge. I've just created a whole new subgenre of fanfiction.

Curling. It's indecipherable, and a joy to make fun of. Unless you seriously watch it for about an hour, then it becomes addictive. What dark magic is that? It's shuffleboard on ice. And I'm watching it.

Every time I watch ski jumping, all I can think of it the Wide World Of Sport's "agony of defeat". This removes much of the fun for me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2AZH4FeGsc

In the end I'm not a sport fan so much as an events fan: Every two years I watch sports that I don't even think about the rest of the time. It's the same reason why I like to watch the Indy 500 even though I have no interest in racing, and I used to watch the Superbowl even though I haven't seen a non-Superbowl football game in twenty years. I've even caught a World Series game, or two.

But not basketball. Basketball is the rap of sports.

Decatha--what?

If you’re the only one in your family who’s not a sports fan, there are always books:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Don’t try this at home, even if you live right by a hospital.

comments

My Farewell Letter to Dispatch

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 21:08:12 GMT

I doubt many people take a job with the plan of staying on until retirement. I didn't; I was going to be a firefighter who wrote books on his off days. But about 34 years ago I went to work at the Noble County Jail, and a few years later moved to dispatch, and I've been there ever since. We're now in a different building, calling ourselves Noble County Communications, but at its heart the job remains the same.

Nobody does anything for 34 years, anymore. Is it any wonder that, despite how burned out I became toward the end, I'm still leaving with mixed feelings?

As time went on I saw a lot of other people come and go. I became unhappy there--partially because I wasn't writing books, partially because it can tear your heart out. But I'm going to miss the people. Not the ones on the other end of the phone line, necessarily, but the ones I worked with.

When you spend a third of your life with the same people, they become a family. Of course, sometimes families get dysfunctional! But we are a family, and I'll miss them. Maybe I'll come and just hang out in dispatch. Probably not; at least, not until I get myself off the stress, depression, and blood pressure medications.

I won't miss some of the technology, most of which didn't exist when I started. We had one computer, with a little green screen (remember DOS?) that we used to run license plates and driver's licenses. Paging a fire department or ambulances involved pushing actual buttons. Every new call to be dispatched was written out on a half-sized sheet of paper called a green sheet, which was--green. Traffic stops didn't get written down at all.

At the end I was sitting at a console with seven monitors, one main keyboard, and three mice. On an average night we have 8-9 browser tabs up (texting, recorder, EMS map, and so on), the phone board, the radio board with its 27 channels on five tabs, and, of course, the Computer Aided Dispatch program.

The CAD program was by (Redacted Company Name). I hate (RCN). We've never had an easy to use CAD, but (RCN) was deliberately made to be as non-intuitive as possible. I'm convinced of that. I was always running into trouble by trying to do things in a way that made sense. There are always five more steps than should be necessary. At first I thought this was all stuff (RCN) was working on fixing, but I came to realize their programmers are actually having fun. Maybe playing a drinking game: "Take a shot whenever anyone curses at the system!" Bunch of alcoholics.

Anyway, for every bad time it seems like there was a good, all because of dark humor and mutual support. We, the often overwhelmed dispatchers, should always remember that we do a lot of good. We save lives, and send help, and that ain't too shabby. Thank you for everyone who's put in the effort over the years.

We really need to seek out more mental health care, though.

My current shift partners

Of course, this means I now write full time, so look us up here:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Reading is always preferable to calling 911 unless, of course, there’s an actual emergency.

comments

So, I Set Fire to My Snowblower

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 14:11:07 GMT

If you've followed me long enough, you've probably heard of the Infamous Exploding Lawn Mower Incident.

But probably not--it happened a very long time ago, when my main social media was LiveJournal. Maybe I'll track it down and reprint it one day. It was quite the tale: mushroom clouds, HazMat response, involvement with both the ATF and the Federal Aviation Administration, a Time Magazine article entitled "Will Flying Lawn Mower Blades Cause Global Cooling?" To this day, it's believed an engine bolt is orbiting Earth.

Really, the only way I could top that would be to set fire to a snowblower.

It couldn't be as bad as the mower. First of all, the snowblower was electric, and didn't have much power to begin with. That might be what killed it: Overwork. this is the first time I ever tried to run it through three foot snow drifts, and I suspect it was designed more for Texans who use them once every five years for a two inch catastrophe.

Besides, it was four degrees, and still snowing. A shovel full from a foot away, and any small appliance fire is out. I've responded to grass fires where I just stepped out of the fire engine and stomped the flames out with my boot--it was like that. Embarrassing. A wafting wisp of smoke, to be poetic.

Which doesn't mean the incident won't get bigger and bigger, every time I describe it. By the turn of the decade it will involve a blizzard, the National Guard, and the Space Force zapping parts out of orbit.

What happened? Well, the snowblower acted a lot like my back: It complained mildly, then it screamed in agony, then it stopped working. I put ice on both of them.

I suspect it burned out a belt thingy, as happened last year with our vacuum cleaner. (The snowblower, not my back.) There was smoke then, too. In that case I replaced the broken belt, and it still wouldn't work right. Now we have a new vacuum cleaner that I'm afraid to use.

Will I try to fix the snowblower? Probably not. We got it on clearance, it's four years old, and every light in the house dimmed whenever I plugged it in. I probably should consider myself lucky for not being electrocuted the first time, let alone trying to replace a belt thingy. Besides, I'm only assuming there is a belt thingy.

Now I can only hope there's not another snowstorm this winter, and we all know how my hopes go. Since I'm retiring from dispatch, I figured out how many books we needed to sell to replace the blower, and it comes out to 347, depending on the book. I can do that in a year, but by then we'll probably have to replace the stove.

The good news is that the neighbors on either side of me have real snowblowers, the gas powered kind. They've always been nice to me, at least since the restraining order prevented me from singing outside.

I should consider myself fortunate the DHS didn't set up a tent in our yard again--it killed all the grass, last time.

Maybe that was for the best.

There's always the traditional method.

None of our books have ever been reported as catching fire:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Most authors are so mechanically incompetent they need book sales to pay for home repairs.

comments

Have a Laugh For Valentine's Day

Sun, 25 Jan 2026 20:35:58 GMT

This has been around for a while now, but I still think it's a good choice for a Valentine's Day gift--assuming you haven't already bought it for a Valentine's Day gift. Flowers annually are accepted; the same book every year would bring you trouble.

Let me run this scenario past you. Your significant other says, "You never use your imagination when you get me gifts."

So Instead of flowers or chocolate, this year you give her flower-shaped chocolates.

Let me know how sleeping on the couch works out.

Or, you can get them a book about Valentine's Day. Now that I think about it, maybe you should have it delivered with flowers ... just in case.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1936955040

A bunch of us got together a decade or so ago to write this humor anthology, and it could save your romantic life ... unless you got a copy last year, too. In that case--unless you have a different significant other--you might want to consider lingerie. Or, um ... chocolate flavored lingerie in a flower print.

Or you could gift them one of my romantic comedy novels. They're about romance, after all--but a book that actually has a Valentine on the cover seems appropriate.

Another good reason to stay home with our books is right there in the weather forecast.

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Reading can be a great way to not be outside in January.

comments

Nostradamus, I Wasn't

Sat, 17 Jan 2026 13:25:28 GMT

I first posted this in October, 2006. You historians, check and see how right (or wrong) I was.

Like most prognosticators, I usually reserve my predictions column until the end of the year. But I don’t see any point in waiting because, frankly, I’m usually wrong.

I sure hope I’m wrong this time.

I say that because we’re in for a recession, most likely a worldwide one, the worst since the early 1980’s. I can’t tell you exactly when it will start, but batten down the hatches, ‘cause it’s coming.

(I was, sadly, right on this one: the Great Recession hit about a year later.)

One indicator of an economic downturn is when automakers start tightening their belts. As usual, America’s automakers were far behind the times, continuing to turn out big ol’ SUV’s when the high gas price writing was on the “holy cow! We can’t afford this” wall. There may be a rally in the used car market, as people trade for cars that could fit in the trunks of their old vehicles, but the gas-sucking gravy train is over. Where the consumers go, the automakers go. Where the automakers go, the parts suppliers go. Where the parts suppliers go – well, we’re all going to heck in a hand basket, if we can afford one.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch house, the housing boom bubble is bursting as we speak. A lot of people have been making their living in the construction industry, but, like an overdose of Ex-Lax, it’s an artificial movement that can’t be sustained forever.

Add the two together, and the economy is going to dump like … well, see above about Ex-Lax. That’s one reason why I’m making my predictions now: I have an uneasy feeling all this will be obvious by early 2007.

(Was it? I don't remember.)

Here’s how the rest of the decade and beyond will go:

November, 2006: The Democrats take control of both houses of Congress in not-very-close elections. For the next two years G.W. Bush uses his veto power more than in the entire previous six years of his presidency. Except for the ongoing attempts to impeach Bush, the government grinds to a halt. No one notices.

Attempts are made by Congress to impeach every future president until 2042, when President Jenna Bush-Clinton successfully pushes through an amendment to the Constitution that punishes “frivolous impeachment” with ... impeachment.

February, 2007: Riots break out in Wal-Marts when employees begin putting up Christmas, 2007 merchandise displays.

May, 2007: The 2008 presidential campaign begins in earnest. By the end of the year there are 26 Democrat candidates, 19 Republican candidates, 78 independent candidates, and Ralph Nader.

August, 2007: Ford declares bankruptcy, beginning a long legal battle that culminates in a government bail-out. By 2011 Ford is solvent again, and making a profit off hybrid electric cars they’ve had the technology for since 1989. They don't repay the taxpayers.

(I may have been a bit off on this one.)

Spring, 2008: As the primary season begins, the mainstream media makes a concentrated effort to uncover every single bad thing every Republican candidate ever did, from childbirth. Fighting back, bloggers and Midwest talk show hosts begin a similar investigation of all Democratic candidates.

In response, by July, 2008, all presidential candidates drop out of the race. Ralph Nader declares himself provisional leader and attempts to move into the White House, but is driven off by a cigar-wielding Rush Limbaugh. A grass roots campaign begins to draft Colin Powell, but he flees the country.

November, 2008: Moderate voters stay away from the polls in droves, but of the 15% who do vote, most vote for the Democratic candidate. The Democrats declare they’ve been given a mandate by America to make changes, which they proceed to not make. Colin Powell returns from his “vacation” in Australia.

Early 2009: Bio-fuels have become so successful in North America that foreign oil imports actually fall. Certain countries get very nervous.

October, 2010: The Cubs lose the World Series when a playback review reveals their winning runner forgot to touch third base.

Summer, 2011: The recovering economy takes a hit when bad weather across the country ruins crops. For the first time, people wonder what will happen if all that bio-fuel has to go back to making food.

September, 2011: New Orleans sinks. Ex-mayor Nagin stages a protest in front of ex-President Bush’s ranch.

January, 2012: Food riots break out – there’s enough to supply everyone, but not enough bio-diesel to get the food to market.

November, 2012: The President is reelected in a squeaker, thanks in part to the first Hispanic Vice-Presidential candidate. Recounts are necessary in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and the new state of West Michigan.

(How did I not mention Florida?)

July, 2014: The first coal fueled, steam powered car goes online. Everyone proclaims it the most original thing they’ve ever seen.

Print this out, people. Wait and see.

I predict you can find our books at some of these places:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Reading is much more fun than worrying about the future.

comments

Celebrating Word Counts

Wed, 14 Jan 2026 01:07:56 GMT

There's a lot more to writing than just putting words on a page, although you might not know it by the way some writers talk. Me, for instance.

I hit 34,000 words on my rough draft of Hoosier Hysterical 2: Subtitle Goes Here. (Still working on that subtitle.) Well worth celebrating, but there's a problem: It's just not funny enough. Oh, it has humor, but the original Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving at All had a lot of humor. Some people might not recognize it, but that subtitle was supposed to be humorous.

We did stumble across amusing places, now and then.

But last time I covered the history of Indiana, and this time I decided to dive into the people who've come and gone, and left their mark on the Hoosier state. Some of those stories are amazing, inspiring, and too often, sad. Once I started following them, I dove down that author's rabbit whole and ended up with whole chapters about one person.

There's James Dean's breakneck career--okay, bad way to put it, considering how he died. There were black people and women who made it big one way or another, even though at the time their "kind" weren't expected to make anything at all. There were inventors and entertainers who came to a sad end.

It was fascinating stuff, but in some cases the best I could do, for instance, was make fun of Sarah Breedlove's name. It's a cheap shot, but I'm a cheap writer. However, Sarah Breedlove was the first person in her family not to be born into slavery, then had a hard early life, then her hair started falling out. As *ahem* I say, "It's just like a country song, except her dog didn't die and there's no pickup truck".

Although ... how do I know she didn't have a dog that died?

A stop on the Underground Railroad. Cool, not funny.

Anyway, C.J. Walker of Indianapolis ended up employing thousands of people to make and sell her hair care products, became the wealthiest black woman in America, and had a freaking Barbie doll modeled after her.

That's not funny. That's awesome.

So, I'm going to work on that. I have a feeling a lot of the already-written words will have to go away, or maybe I'll use them in blogs. Or maybe I'll write a companion book: "Hoosier Not-Hysterical: Really Cool People, and How They Got There".

At least I have my subtitle.

We passed through Rural, Indiana in rural Indiana. That's good for a smile.

You can count the words in our books by following these links; but why bother counting?

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: It’s not the words, so much as how they’re arranged.

comments

Finally, Something AI Is Good For

Sat, 10 Jan 2026 04:32:49 GMT

Lots of us knew AI would be trouble, but nobody listened. We knew it would want to kill all of us -- that was a given. We didn't expect it to take over all the artistic stuff humans were doing.

"I have a book in me. I'll be back with it."

Of the thirty million books published on Amazon in 2023, 45% were written using AI. Another 52% were written by AI. A new AI written book is produced every time I hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Artificial Intelligence doesn't argue over book contracts, doesn't miss deadlines, and doesn't have booze filled lost weekends when they're supposed to be editing their manuscript.

I hate AI.

I also hate spam. Not the food, but the emails, messages, and phone calls from people who want your money in return for, preferably, nothing. Until recently. Now I've discovered something AI generated spam can be good for.

You see, I've been getting emails from "people" who want to help me reach more readers, get more book reviews, and overall do all those things writers would really like help at doing. It used to be easy to tell which messages were spam:

"Dear Sir Mark"

But not anymore. Now AI takes two tenths of a millisecond to read everything ever written on my social media, including about my books, and generates an email so personalized it actually makes you hesitate. For instance, I got this one:

"Your upcoming release Haunted Noble County, Indiana immediately caught my attention. The way you blend small-town history with eerie legends from haunted hills and theaters to the mysterious “Thing in the Basement” creates the perfect mix of folklore and spine-tingling intrigue.

"I also love that you both bring a historian’s eye to the paranormal. It gives readers not just chills, but a deeper appreciation of the places and people behind the stories. Books like this are perfect for both history buffs and fans of the supernatural."

Wow. That's a book I want to read! The only thing suspicious is that "Abdullahi", whose email address looks like a cat walked across the keyboard, then adds, "I’d be happy to share ideas on how you could amplify excitement and reach more readers who crave the haunted and the historical."

Hey--I'm the idea guy.

"Can computers hold my books in a photo? I mean, other than ebooks?"

Before I hit delete, I got a brainstorm. Writers hate writing blurbs, and most hate doing promotion. What if I kept the good stuff from the AI spam--and used it for promotion? Check out this one:

"Haunted Noble County, Indiana sounds fascinating, blending history with ghostly legends feels like such a unique way to capture the spirit (and spirits!) of the area. The “Thing in the Basement” alone makes me want to know every story you’ve uncovered. Your passion for local history really shines through across your body of work"

That's gold, man. If humans were as interested in my work as that supercomputer is, I'd be on PBS discussing adverbs with Stephen King.

But it's not just our newest book. I could put this one right on the back cover:

"Congratulations on Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving at All! You’ve created a rare gem, a history book that’s equal parts hilarious and educational. By blending sharp wit with off-the-wall storytelling, you’ve transformed Indiana history into something not just digestible but downright fun.

"Your playful approach covering everything from Paleo-armadillos to Mad Anthony Wayne makes Hoosier Hysterical an ideal read for history buffs who don’t take themselves too seriously, teachers who want engaging supplemental material, and Midwestern readers eager to celebrate their roots with a laugh."

"I found this in the digital wilderness! Can I keep it?

It sure did its homework, although granted it only took a nanosecond. The same can be said about this look at Storm Chaser:

"Storm Chaser takes a natural disaster—something universally feared—and turns it into the spark for a deeply human story. That first image of Chance pulling Allie out of danger while a tornado bears down is cinematic, but what really makes the book compelling is what happens after the storm passes. The tension, the suspicion, and the sparks flying between two people who shouldn’t fit but somehow do—it gives readers more than just adrenaline, it gives them heart.

Romantic suspense is one of those genres where the setting almost becomes a character, and you’ve nailed that. The storms, the fires, the sense of danger creeping into the ordinary—it keeps the pages turning, while the layered relationship between Chance and Allie keeps readers invested. That combination of high-stakes drama and intimate connection is exactly what makes a book stick in a reader’s memory."

Okay, it's actually Allie who gets Chance out of danger in the opening scene, but other than that--wow. I thought I was just writing a fun romantic adventure. Now, I tracked that one down to an actual legitimate human book promoter, although I think it's safe to assume she's not doing a deep read on every book she encounters.

Here's one for Storm Chaser's sequel, The Notorious Ian Grant:

"Ian Grant’s whirlwind arrival in storm-ravaged Hurricane, Indiana, and the resulting comedy of errors with his sister’s wedding and local law enforcement, promises readers a delightful mix of romance, humor, and emotional stakes. Fran Vargas’s no-nonsense approach adds a perfect counterbalance, ensuring the story resonates with fans of romance that combines laughter with unexpected connection."

I spent a month writing the novel, but the blurb took me a year.

That's exactly the story I was trying to write! Sure, this reader might be sucking down electricity in a basement in Virginia, but it still gets me! Never mind the two paragraph sales pitch that follows.

This kind of thing is going to work on some writers. As a group, we tend to be insecure and maybe a little desperate. There are fewer readers every year, and they're being stolen away by some computer geek who's running the electronic equivalent of a sweatshop, churning out books with no soul. Not that I'm upset about it.

So yeah, I feel like I should just take their spam and use it for my own purposes. I probably won't, though. It would make me feel dirty. You know, in a computer kind of way.

I still hate AI.

You won’t find AI writing anything on our sites, unless I’m making fun of it:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: It takes a human being to write a story with heart.

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Mixed Feelings At Retirement Time

Sat, 03 Jan 2026 23:12:17 GMT

I had thought, when it finally came time to retire, I would be deliriously happy, and possibly get myself into trouble in my last days by giving no darns. (Or submit your own dirty word there.)

Instead, I'm a little scared.

I've been working for Noble County Government for thirty-five years as of December, 2025. For about thirty of those years I've been a dispatcher. Exactly how long I don't know, because nobody has any record of when I transitioned from being a jail officer to dispatch.

It's finally ending on February 1st.

Me at 25 years, with Mitch Fiandt and John Urso--we were all also volunteer firefighters.

Don't get me wrong: It was long past time. For many years, I've told people the average 911 dispatcher lasts only seven years on the job. I looked it up again, and the general consensus is now about 3-5 years. How many partners have I had in that time? When I tried to count them off the top of my head, I gave up at fifteen. Wait, sixteen. Seventeen.

Mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically it's an incredibly difficult job, and it really is hard for anyone to understand if they haven't done it themselves. Like many dispatchers, I ended up on medications for stress and depression (and blood pressure, and indigestion), made worse by the circadian-interrupting night shift and the three day weekends of twelve hour shifts. I winced whenever the phone rang--especially, of course, 911. Every slow hour was followed by head-spinning periods of chaos, with a fire on one side of the county, a heart attack on the other, and officers making traffic stops who don't know what else we might be juggling at the moment.

First responders--and yes, dispatchers are first responders, being the first to know about an incoming emergency--have a life expectancy much shorter than other people. The job literally kills you.

Yet it's the best full-time job I've ever had.

Okay, granted I've only had five full time jobs in my life, unless you consider my dawn-to-dusk lawn mowing operation in high school. It's also better than most part-time jobs I've ever had, and pays more.

There are a few times I can actually say I saved a life, and many other times I made a difference. Few dispatchers can say they never made a difference. That ain't too shabby.

But my back, my head, my nightmares, tell me it's time to call it a day.

It will be the first time in 45 years that I haven't participated actively in the emergency services. My mind tells me I've done my part, and my back tells me to take the win.

But it's scary, making such a huge change after so long. Between my retirement pay and early social security, I'll still be pulling in less money than I did, and right now my only plan to make up the difference is by transitioning to full-time writing.

My new office.

The problem with that is that I haven't made a profit from my writing business since the newspapers I wrote for got bought out, years ago. I'll certainly get a lot more writing related work done, but that doesn't guarantee income. Ask, unfortunately, most writers.

So, yeah; a little scary.

But my wife is not scared, because, well, she's always been braver than me, and I do have confidence in my writing ability. So here we go: Off to the next chapter, as they say. It's my hope that I'll be supported in my writing endeavor by reviews, reposts, and (of course) sales.

Stay tuned.

You’ll still be able to find us at the usual places:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: My writing mind is still sharp as a tick. Wait, pick? Rack?

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This Decade Sucks

Thu, 01 Jan 2026 23:49:18 GMT

Let's face it: the 2020s have sucked. All of them.

Sure, we're only halfway through, but the bloody writing is on the frosty wall. I have a friend who thinks you only need to get through half the season with the Toronto Maple Leafs before you know the rest of the season will be a disaster--it's like that.

(I looked it up, they play hockey. They're the Chicago Cubs of Canada. But at least the Cubs had a good year in 2016, which you'll notice is not the 2020s.)

So there's no reason to think 2026 will be any better. People made that mistake at the end of 2020, and 21, and 22 ... well, you can count. The 1920s were much better: They actually roared. Until 1929, anyway.

Some people have been having a great decade: Arms dealers, drug companies ... um, the construction industry? Half the buildings in America either burned, floated away, or were blown away in the last five years. If your house landed in the next town, you'll have bigger problems than just changing your zip code.

Although no matter how bad a time period is, someone is happy--for example, Hitler had an awesome 1939.

I don't want to turn this into a Rodney Dangerfield routine. Or maybe I do--Rodney understood the value of comedic complaining. But it wasn't the best decade in the world from a personal standpoint. Emily and I were sick so much the CDC pitched a tent in our back yard. 2022 was the first year I ever got the flu after having a flu shot.

2025 has been the second.

Once, Emily lost her voice. At first it was cool, because I walked around the house telling puns and singing Christmas songs loudly. Then she summoned enough strength to start throwing things at me. On a related note, I suffered a head injury that year.

This was the decade all the stupid stuff I did when I was younger came back to pain me. I was an active volunteer firefighter for forty-two years. Now I have to decide if it's really worth getting out of bed to pee.

Then, as in the old joke, I went to the doctor and told him, "It hurts wherever I touch".

He said, "Idiot--your finger's broken."

My left index finger has a scar and a bit of a bend from being broken twice, but it never bothered me. Now it's a doctor joke. My joints were as stiff as the Tin Woodman, and my head proved accurate in predicting the weather five days out. I realized I should go apologize to all the adults who wouldn't play with me when I was a kid--I had no idea how much they were hurting.

And they never complained, either. Most of them were the children of the Great Depression and World War II, events that remind us that yes, it could be worse.

We also started our next round of having to replace stuff. The couch broke, the toilet broke. The refrigerator sounded fine, but it stopped cooling anything. We replaced our ailing ruby red 2014 Ford Escape with a ruby red 2019 Ford Escape. Some people still haven't realized that.

It used to be I'd call my brother for help with these things, but, well ... the 2020s suck.

Rodney Dangerfield could have said all this better, but you get the point.

In 2022 the world population reached eight billion, and two out of three got one of the three pandemics pandemic bugs going around. The third got heat stroke, or frostbite.

Inflation hit its highest level since the early 80s, a time I remember as being as bad as ... well, the early 2020s. Come to think of it, so far this winter reminds me of the early 80s. Russia's invasion of Ukraine is the biggest European war since WWII. The Queen of England died, after being in that position for so long nobody remembers who she replaced. (I think it was "King Something".) So far as I'm aware, none of these events are related, but there you go.

There was lots of other stuff, but I'll just end with: Monkey Pox.

Rodney would have had a blast with Monkey Pox. "My doctor said I should get vaccinated. I told him I wanted a second opinion, and he said 'Okay: You're ugly, too'."

"My parents took me to a dog show--and I won."

I miss Rodney. He'd know how to face 2026.

There’s always reading, and none of our books are about the 2020s:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: The 2030s are coming, and they can’t be worse. Right?

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