Slightly Off the Mark

Roadwork? It Must be Spring in Indiana

2026-05-06T00:31:41Z

With spring comes--that's right--road work! Since I walked right by it on my way to work, I naturally took a few pictures.

This is State Road 9, called Orange Street as it passes through Albion. Being an INDOT project, the official detour is over state and US highways, making it dozens of miles out of the way. This is why I predict lots of lost/idiot drivers on Albion streets over the next couple of months. It should be pointed out that lost drivers are not always idiots and vice versa, although plenty of intelligent people have been known to get behind the wheel and do stupid things.

They're grinding down the entire road, taking it right down to the bricks that were once the surface and, from what I've heard, removing the bricks. I have a brick from when they removed them from the Noble County Courthouse square several years ago--they're heavy and well made, as you might imagine from many years ago.

Of course, I could just show you the bricks.

There are warning signs in the next friggin' state alerting drivers that the roads will be closed, but some moron will still drive around everything and try to go through. To make matters worse, we had high winds today that blew over some of the barricades--although this one's still effective in blocking people from coming out of the alley.

As I was walking past it a dust devil rose up from the gravel parking lot and hit me so hard, I thought I saw Munchkins for a second. I had to spit out some dirt and irrigate my eyes, but otherwise no harm done.

This is the first of what appears to be a three part job--and a future part of that runs in front of my house. Since they've closed the road entirely, my question is: How do we get to and from home? Specifically Emily, who has to either drive or camp out at the state park for the rest of spring; as seen by the pictures, I can walk (or stay home on the laptop). The driveway I share with a neighbor is a vacated alley, and there's no back entrance. It's the street, or do some Top Gear type four-wheeling down the hill into another neighbor's yard.

It was really windy.

When the road doesn’t go smoothly in our books, it’s way more entertaining:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: You don’t have to brave road conditions if you have a book in the house.

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Making Political Violence Fun Again

2026-05-01T21:35:20Z

Let's talk assassination attempts. But let's make it fun.

Assassinations aren't funny, of course. But neither is is getting injured by a mechanical device, and I've built several humor blogs out of that subject. Thankfully it's been 63 years since the last successful attempt to kill an American president, but that's not from lack of trying.

I just realized, I'm 63 ... but my mother had an alibi.

Were people actually trying to kill President Trump? Yes. Look, for a decade people have been actively, publicly, and specifically wishing for Trump's death, so it's no surprise someone swaying over the edge of sanity would actually try. Besides, if the most recent attempt was faked, the guy would have been conveniently offed by the Secret Service.

One factor in choosing weapons is ease of concealment.

Abraham Lincoln is practically a saint now, but when he was president a whole section of the country hated him. By the way, about a month before his assassination Lincoln became the target of a kidnapping plot, which I read about while researching for our Hoosier Hysterical sequel.

The bad guys planned to kidnap Lincoln on his way to a play (!), and hold him hostage in exchange for the release of every single Confederate prisoner of war. Apparently they thought the POWs would immediately take up arms again, but I think most would have headed home.

The leader of the plot, an actor named John Wilkes Booth, was no doubt enraged when Lincoln chose to skip the theater, and instead rode to the National Hotel in Washington. There Lincoln presented a Civil War battle flag to Indiana Governor Oliver P. Morton.

So ... Indiana saved Lincoln's life, at least for a few weeks.

Oh, I almost forgot: The night before he shot Lincoln, Booth stayed in--the National Hotel.

It turns out there are worse ideas than political violence.

The next President to be assassinated was James Garfield, by an office seeker who thought he didn't get enough credit for getting Garfield elected. What most people don't know is that there was a previous attempt on Garfield's life, in which a rabies-infected tabby cat was thrown at him in Indiana. Luckily, the cat was distracted by a lasagna shop.

Then there was William McKinley, who was shot by an anarchist promoting, I assume, anarchy. Instead of anarchy we got Theodore Roosevelt.

John F. Kennedy was the last assassinated president, dying in 1963, and I once more want to point out my mother and I both had alibis.

In 1981 Ronald Reagan did get shot, but survived, although he complained to his wife that he forgot to duck. Reagan lost half his blood volume, which may be why he scribbled a note to a nurse in which he quoted W.C. Fields: "All in all, I'd rather be in Philadelphia".

And where did that shooting take place? The Washington Hilton, scene of the latest incident involving Trump. They're going to get a reputation.

Thankfully, many attempts failed:

When a man tried to shoot Andrew Jackson, both of his pistols misfired. (Although they later worked fine, so--angels?) Jackson then beat the man down with his cane.

In 1909 President Taft headed for a summit in Mexico, where he was guarded by the Texas Rangers, the Secret Service, FBI, U.S. Marshals, 4,000 soldiers, and a 250-member private security team.

Shockingly, nobody got a shot off at Taft. Still, a Texas Ranger discovered an armed man waiting along the procession route.

In 1974 a man tried to kill President Nixon by flying a hijacked jet airliner into the White House. He killed two people, but was shot before he got off the ground: He'd forgotten to remove the plane's wheel blocks.

Later that same year, a man known as the Alphabet Bomber sent a message saying he was going to kill newly minted President Gerald R. Ford. Sending the message was his mistake.

Notice they've all been men? Well, the 70s was a time of women's liberation, so in the cause of equal rights two women tried to shoot Ford, 17 days apart, in California. Both were stymied by the fact that they hadn't familiarized themselves with their handguns. Insert your own misogynistic joke here.

The truth is, just about every American president has been the target of assassins, especially in recent decades. Left wing, right wing, cuckoo wingnut wing, they all have one thing in common: Hatred. To be honest, I find hatred to be exhausting.

"You there: That doesn't look like a campaign contribution."

But let's go back to Theodore Roosevelt, who was shot because of a different president's assassination.

As he prepared to give a speech in 1912, Roosevelt, famously long-winded, folded up his 50 page speech and stuck it in his coat pocket, along with his eyeglass case. Then he was shot by a man who was instructed to do so by William McKinley, who had also been shot--12 years before--and was, well, dead.

The bullet was slowed by the case and the speech, and lodged in Roosevelt's chest muscles. Roosevelt, with blood seeping through his shirt, then delivered a 90 minute speech before going to the hospital.

You can't kill that kind of toughness.

You can find a lot of serious stuff treated with humor in our books:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: You’re better off just reading about assassinations.

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Nostalgia: Our Old House

2026-04-29T19:40:05Z

Some photos today, thanks to the nostalgia that hit when my childhood home went up for sale last year.

1963 has the record for the number of days when the temperature got below zero in northeast Indiana. I was born the previous July, which would have put me at about six months old.

Maybe that explains why I'm so cold sensitive, especially since at the time our house was heated with coal. I remember as a kid sitting with my back against the chimney, which ran along a wall in my room. It was the warmest place in the house.

We didn't have air conditioning either, but I don't remember the heat ever bothering me. These days I'm pretty happy with just "warm".

(The house pictured is where I grew up; it's changed a LOT, although I used to play under the tree to the left. I got the picture when the place went up for sale last year.)

Jeff and me with short sleeves--it must have been summer.

Winter? Let's see: long sleeve flannel shirts and, oh yeah, a Christmas tree. Mom probably took the picture.

Mom and Dad at ... our house? That's not where I remember the phone being.

This photo is from the real estate website. Right at about the midpoint in this image is where our antenna pole stood: If we left it pointing one way, we could pick up three or four Fort Wayne channels. If we twisted it until the second mark lined up, we could pull in three South Bend area channels.

Just for fun, this is the house my father grew up in: It's in a holler' in southeast Kentucky, Knott County. Mama and Papa raised nine kids there! The house to my left is where Uncle Paul and Aunt Jewel built their own home.

Here in the present you can find my writing everywhere, not to mention our books:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: You can read a good book in any old house.

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Blogging Can Get Weird

2026-04-25T23:31:57Z

Last week I posted a blog about the Artemis Moon missions. When I put the link to that blog on social media, I headlined with a really cool Artemis logo:

Just cute as heck, right? The cat is the character Artemis, from the Sailor Moon anime and manga. My youngest daughter and I were heavily invested in that show when she was little.

Well, the artwork just took off. That was great: People seeing the illustration would read my blog, and some of them might be interested enough to check out the links to our books, and next thing you know our sales will shoot up to the five figures--maybe even the medium five figures!

The day after the blog came out it had 21 views, but then I started putting up the link on social media. (Except for Substack, which is kind of a thing of its own.) Facebook, for those of you who don't know, has been rumored to suppress links that lead elsewhere, but there's a workaround: Put the photo on the post, but the link to the blog in the comments.

Look at me, look at me! Pay no attention to the bird.

It worked, too, because I tried it twice on FB: With the link in the post, I got 5 likes and 2 reposts. But with the link hidden in the first comment, I got 90 likes and 16 reposts! I couldn't wait to see that reflected in my blog views.

A few days later I double checked: 25 blog views views. According to my fingers, posting my blog link all over the internet increased interest by ... four.

What happened? Well, what happened is the artwork was just too cute. Everybody thought so. They even sent it to their friends. What they didn't do was click on the link and read the blog. (Yes, I did say in the blog where the link would be found.) This is clearly my fault, although of course I tried to find someone else to blame.

Look, cute dog and cool clouds in the same pic! And a fridge. And power lines. Click the link!

(My next blog, a photo post, got 165 clicks.)

There's a lesson to be drawn from this, and I'm working on what that is. Maybe it's that you shouldn't be too cute. Maybe it's that people don't read blogs anymore. I did get 174 clicks on a blog last month, though, not including the 40 or more I typically get on Substack, and other places it appears. Looking back on that sentence, maybe the lesson I should learn is that I'm spreading myself too thin, but never mind.

So from now on I'll put really good images inside the blog, and something bland and boring to headline social media. I'll also try to remember the old writer's adage that there are three good ways to get attention online, but nobody knows what they are.

Maybe I could blog a photo of me blogging a photo of me.

(Seriously, the three things are: Call somebody names, get arrested, or post nude pics.)

Find fun, frivolity, and of course books, here:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: A blog is like a book: You read it. No, this isn’t going into my Best Of epilogue tags.

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Building My File of Photos

2026-04-22T22:55:35Z

I'm working on final edits on Radio Red, so this is just a drive-by photo post about ... old buildings.

Mostly in Albion, such as the Noble County Courthouse above. I know what you're thinking: "But Mark, why old buildings?"

Well, I have a file on my computer called "blog pics", and it was getting cluttered with photos I liked, but didn't have a blog for--such as the above Old Jail Museum.

Okay, so maybe I take too many pictures of those two buildings, since I see them so often. So here's a picture of--wait for it--the Ligonier Hoosegow. Didn't see that coming, did you? Albion also had a small jail, behind the former Town Hall building.

On a related note, I have no idea where I got that photo, or how old it is.

But mostly it's the classics. I haven't used this photo much, because to me it looks like I was Photoshopped in front of the Old Jail Museum. I wasn't: Emily took the picture. I guess it was some kind of lighting trick. Believe me, if Emily decided to alter a photo, you'd never know it.

There's also this picture, which was taken from the courthouse sometime around the end of the 19th Century. It's looking toward the southwest. See that little one story building toward the bottom right, the one that looks like a black spot? That's Albion's first firehouse, built in 1887. I spent over 25 years looking for a photo of that building.

I love red mornings, even if they make sailors take warning.

Now I have space in my blog file to put more courthouse photos! Ahem. If I can find any.

You can read about, and often see, lots of old buildings on or social media sites:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Once a building is in a book, it’s alive forever.

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Moonshots and Butter Brickle

2026-04-18T20:07:41Z

If you asked me as a kid what I wanted to do when I grew up, I had an immediate answer. No hemming and hawing between plumber and proctologist, no sir. It had been clear since I watched the first Apollo Moon landing at 9 years old, on a black and white console TV:

I was going to be science officer on a starship.

Yes, I was aware the position didn't actually exist at the time, but we'd just landed on the moon! By the time I entered high school we'd have a city on Mars, and by the time I graduated college I'd be shipping out to explore the galaxy. I already had a blue sweatshirt with a logo on it, and a Spock haircut.

It wasn't the same logo, but what the heck; and as long as I kept that haircut, I wouldn't have to worry about interested girls distracting me.

Which is why I gave up the haircut in middle school, but never mind.

Back then it seemed obvious our future was in space. Why? Well, the example of Europeans continuing to explore the Americas after Columbus (or the Vikings) is problematic--although if they hadn't, I wouldn't be here. Still, the Native Americans themselves once followed the path of exploration:

"What's over that next hill?"

"Food, maybe? I see there's a glacier coming up behind us, so maybe we should check it out."

By high school manned space exploration seemed a thing of the past, but I was still optimistic of humanity's future in space. I signed up for every science class my school offered, starting my freshman year with what was called General Science. I excelled, earning an A+ and a certificate of merit. I wanted to take Physical Science next, but the only opening on my sophomore schedule was Chemistry.

My science teacher cautioned me that maybe I shouldn't jump ahead so fast. I ignored him. My science teacher was very smart. I wasn't.

As a kid I had every Apollo related toy, including this one.

Because, you see, going into space takes math. Lots of math. Taking Intro to Algebra in my freshman year taught me my proficiency in math was, well, not proficient. In fact, I stunk at it. But what the heck, science isn't all about math. How much math could there possibly be in chemistry?

And that's how I learned I would never be a science officer.

Science is cool, it really is. It's just that some people can do science, and some people are better off watching other people do science. Now we have Artemis returning to the Moon, several decades too late even if I was good at science. With my prostate, I'm better off not being in a place where peeing is a challenge, anyway.

(No, I'm not going to debate anyone with the idiotic idea that the Apollo missions were faked. That myth has been busted over and over, and I spend most of my time on social media trying to avoid stupid arguments.)

This, by the way, is an anime character named Artemis. My household was nuts for Sailor Moon.

But should we go back to the Moon, with all the expense, with so many problems on Earth? I mean, we've been there. Once we invented chocolate ice cream, was there any point in inventing Butter Brickle?

Maybe that's a bad comparison: I hate Butter Brickle. But humanity is never going to be wiped out by a five mile wide scoop of frozen Butter Brickle, or for that matter a super volcano made of cheese, which would at least smell good for an instant before our nose hairs burned. The technology used for Butter Brickle isn't likely to bring great new inventions and products to the masses. Also, to be honest, there's no joy of discovery from exploring Butter Brickle, unless it's your first birthday party.

So I'm going to say yes, it is worth the risk and expense to explore space. Not just for the science and economic benefits, but also for the pure joy of discovering things. We could easily find the money by zapping government waste with a big Butter Brickle colored space laser.

After all, how do we know there's not some new kind of chocolate out there?

Our books don’t involve space travel—yet. But there’s bound to be something for everyone else.

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: It was discovery that brought us the ability to print books in the first place.

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Happy National Public Safety Telecommunicators Week!

2026-04-15T22:25:56Z

It's Photo Wednesday! Which I just made up. Only it's not--in this case it's Meme Wednesday, which I also just made up, although I'd imagine I'm not the first. Somebody should make a meme about that.

So instead of my photos, I'm posting images about what I like to call Dispatchers Week, because National Public Safety Telecommunicators Week really doesn't roll off the tongue.

I spent over three decades as a full time dispatcher, and now I'm a part time dispatcher until our books start pulling in, oh, five figures. Should happen any minute now.

When I came back, one of the first things I noticed is that we now have a dispatch goose, who tends to change clothes a lot and goes by the name Gertrude. No, I don't know why.

I think most of my coworkers are glad to have me back, so I can teach the newbies about puns and inappropriate humor. Or, it could be because we're shorthanded at the moment. It turns out we're supposed to do this job 24 hours a day--who knew?

How do I keep going? Ibuprofen and Mountain Dew.

When I first started in the emergency services, some 45 years ago, I was told I'd never make it in the business if I didn't drink coffee. In the time since, I've had exactly one cup of coffee, at a winter mobile home fire when the temperature was below zero. I'd have drunk antifreeze, if it was hot enough. These days, most of the other dispatchers don't drink coffee either. I have no explanation for this, although when you pick up a 911 call and someone immediately screams in your ear, that tends to keep you awake for awhile.

Anyone in this business can tell you there are, indeed, stupid questions. But here's the interesting thing: Often the person who calls in and apologizes for wasting our time, then spends five minutes trying to convince us it's nothing, has a legitimate complaint. People who ask stupid questions usually have no idea we're pretending to shoot the phone while listening to them.

This is exactly why our moods, like our shifts, can veer in any direction in an instant. Except when we have visitors. When people are watching, nothing happens.

It's one of the most important jobs there is, because we're the first first responders. If we don't take the call, none of the other first responders know to respond. Unless there's a fireball on the horizon, or something.

So thank you for your dedicated work, dispatchers! With you in mind, there's a minor character in my Storm Chaser series who is, indeed, a night shift dispatcher. You can tell by how grouchy he is.

Fires and other emergencies tend to pop up a lot in our books, both fiction and nonfiction. Check us out!

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: People who read are much more likely to remember the number for 911.

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Writing: On Putting Conflict Into Stories

2026-04-10T13:02:24Z

I've had to explain to people that the events of the movie Apollo 13 really happened. They couldn't believe such a string of disasters could strike one space mission, or that the astronauts could have actually survived.

But the unrealistic part was the personal conflict. The astronauts yelled at each other, the ground crew yelled at each other, the astronauts yelled at the administrators ... it was a yell fest. Front and center was when Fred Haise blamed newbie Jack Swigert for not checking pressure levels before stirring the oxygen tanks, which led to the initial explosion.

Never happened. These people trained and practiced constantly, and were notorious cool under pressure. They didn't lose their tempers to the extent shown in the movie: they were rational, level headed, and team oriented. Why were they scripted differently?

Because a story needs conflict.

Conflict!

There was plenty of excitement in that story, but by adding conflict between the characters, the writers upped the tension and made the audience care more about the story. Go listen to the audio from the real Apollo 13 accident. They don't sound like they're in a life or death situation: They sound like a minor inconvenience broke out.

"Uh, Houston, Apollo 13 ... we've had a problem. A TP problem."

"Say again?"

"Houston, we've run out of toilet paper up here, and Fred has to take a big one. Well, leave a big one."

"Roger, Apollo 13, copy he's venting."

A problem with many writers is that they don't put in enough conflict. That includes me. I like my characters--I want them to get along. Sure, my good guys fight bad guys, but they got along with each other no matter how bad things were going. In real life, that's desirable; in fiction, it's boring. After all, a lot of what makes the reader happy are things you wouldn't want to have happen in real life. The Apollo 13 crew wanted a nice, uneventful walk on the Moon.

I still struggle with that, especially with my romance stories. I won't let my lovers be torn apart by something they could fix just by talking to each other. I poke fun at that in Radio Red: There's a scene where Kirsten gets mad at Aaron over something easily explained--until he easily explains it. Within minutes it's cleared up, leaving her embarrassed ... and leaving me to find other ways to keep them apart. (I don't think anyone caught on that I was poking at the trope.) If you're a writer, remember that conflict is important, but it can't be artificial. Don't have your characters fight over something ridiculous.

Conflict in Apollo 13 would have been understandable--those guys were literally in a life or death situation. So make sure your characters don't always get along--if it makes sense with them and the story.

Even in the future, stories must have conflict.

Here's an example of how I added conflict to my romantic comedy, The Notorious Ian Grant. It's kind of an easy example, though. It's Ian's first meeting in several years with his sister, Allie (the star of Storm Chaser), and to say the two haven't gotten along is putting it mildly:

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By the time everyone took a full plate to the dining area downstairs, and Ian headed for the sink to rinse out cans for recycling, he figured he had some karmic points that might come in handy later.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Or maybe I need those karmic points right now.

He turned slowly. He’d been watching for his family, but didn’t realize there was another entrance from outside, at the back of the kitchen. Behind him everyone who’d helped with the food had stayed upstairs, and now paused in the middle of getting themselves a meal from the leftovers. Ian glimpsed one already full plate in front of an empty chair, and figured it must be for the latecomer – and building owner.

“Hey, Al. So … you still mad about me blowing up your Malibu Barbie?”

Allison Craine stood in the doorway, hands on hips and rage on face. “Who let you in? I thought I had this place sprayed for pests.” Her chocolate hair was braided tight against her head, and everything else was covered with mud: work boots, jeans, oversized flannel shirt, right up to the fine features of her face. She could easily pass for someone Beth’s age, if that someone had been playing in a mud pit.

“I missed you, too.” Looks like I’m sleeping in the car tonight. Moving cautiously forward, he gestured toward the empty spot at the table. Look, we made a plate for you.”

“It’s actually for you,” Heather whispered. Beth shushed her.

“If you were involved, I’d check it for alcohol.” Allie stalked forward, fists clenched, until she came face to face with her brother. “What are you doing here? We have enough trouble.”

“I came here to help.” He dropped the last can into her recycling bin. “See? Also, I gave up drinking over a year ago.”

“You –" She rolled her eyes. “You did not.”

“I was there –"

“Just last month you were seen dirty dancing with that Bethani girl.”

Heather gasped.

“Al, that wasn’t –"

“In the middle of Hollywood Boulevard!”

“She was drunk, not me – I was trying to keep her from getting run over, and you of all people know how the scandal sheets love to change the facts. If you’d picked up the phone, I could have told you.”

“What possible reason would I have to speak with you?”

“So I can apologize!” He heard his voice rising, and knew it was the wrong reaction, but couldn’t stop himself. For the last year he’d tried to clean up his act, and nobody believed him. “It’s all well and good that you’re everybody’s Pulitzer Prize winning darling, but some of us have to atone for what we did in our youth. I can’t make things right if nobody will let me try.”

“Do you have any idea what you did to me over the years?”

“Of course I do.” Ian looked over his shoulder at the silent table, mostly women and teenagers, with Fran the closest. Two men wearing blue fire department t-shirts stood frozen in the other doorway, and he realized it was Chance and the firefighter from earlier, Rich. So … an audience.

“I showed up drunk at Allie’s coming out party. I wrote a book about our dad – for money. I posed for a skin magazine, smoked and drank and partied my way through my twenties, fought with bouncers, and drag raced my way across California. I blew all my money in Vegas and then took jobs in bad B movies to make more. I ruined her childhood and mine by fighting with dad, throwing things, running away, and giving drunken interviews, and I slept with her best friend.”

Ian paused to catch his breath. Total silence reigned until he turned back to his sister.

“Who needs to make up for what they’ve done more than I do?”

But Allie shook her head. “How can I trust you now? Wherever you go, trouble follows.”

The kitchen window exploded inward.

Someone shrieked as glass shot across the room between the dining table and the kitchen. Ian felt shards dig at his bare arm and saw others spatter across Fran, in the seat closest to him.

For an instant afterward Ian heard nothing but the tinkling of falling glass. His gaze went from the shattered window across the room to the wall, where a small hole showed at head height. “Hey … that’s a bullet hole.”

Before he finished speaking Fran launched herself from her chair. Behind her Chance shoved Rich into the hallway with one hand and pointed with the other: “Everybody get down!” Ian saw no more because Fran slammed into him, driving him into Allie, and all of them into the sheltered space behind the kitchen island.

“Get off me!”

Ian rolled away, slammed into the island, then yelped when silverware showered over him. He scooped up a butter knife and started to get to his knees, but Fran waved him down. She had her pistol out, and crouched at the end of the island while speaking urgently into her portable radio. Of the others Ian could hear only rustling and panicked whispers.

“Sis, you okay?” He looked over at Allie, who’d scooted to sit with her back to the stove and grabbed up a spoon. “I think we’d be better off with silver bullets, instead of silverware.”

“This is your fault!” She brandished the spoon at him.

“My fault? This is your place, how is it my fault?”

Fran glanced back at them, looking disgusted. “Excuse me, we just got shot at.”

“But seriously, my fault?”

“Because you’re here!” Suddenly realizing what she held, Allie threw the spoon down and reached for a fork. “How often has this place been shot at before? Never, until you arrived.”

“Oh, come on. Who’d want to kill me?” Even as he said it, faces and names flashed by.

“Ex-girlfriends, husbands of ex-girlfriend –“

“I’d never –“

“Property owners, judges, cops, producers, directors, creditors, bookies –“

“Don’t forget music moguls.”

“And all your relatives! And my best friend from high school.”

“She still likes me.”

“She has a voodoo doll of you.”

“That explains my chronic neck pain ...”

“That’s not where she stabs it.”

Suddenly Ian realized Fran had disappeared around the island. “Fran?”

“Fran?” Allie repeated. She crept toward the end of the island. “Chance?”

“Be careful.”

“Get stuffed. Chance!”

They both jumped when Fran appeared around the corner again, at a crouch but holstering her weapon. “Help’s right around the corner. We just need to sit tight until they’ve cleared us.”

“Oh, good.” Allie turned to glare at her brother. “Until next time.”

“Hey … maybe it was debris from the tornado.” Even as he spoke, Ian knew how ridiculous that sounded.

“The tornado three days ago?”

“Maybe Dorothy’s house just landed,” murmured Fran, as she tried to peek out the nearest window.

“Look …” Ian put the knife down and held his hands out toward Allie. “If this turns out to be my fault in any way, I’ll gladly pay the damages.”

“And get out of my life?”

“Yes, but in the meantime I’ve got something very important to ask you.”

Eyes narrowed, Allie gestured with the fork. Not a friendly gesture. “What?”

“Can I spend the night here?”

The books of the Storm Chaser series, and all of our other published works, are hanging around, just waiting to be read:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: It’s hard to get into conflict if you’re busy reading.

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Black Pine Animal Sanctuary

2026-04-09T02:05:32Z

Last fall I visited Black Pine Animal Sanctuary and, as one does, took pictures. Last month I decided to do a photo post around the middle of every week, so ... there you go. We're blessed to have BPAS only a couple of miles from our home in Albion, and Chain O' Lakes State Park just a little further out.

For some reason, this photo makes me think of politics. I don't know why.

Honestly, I'd rather face a big cat than a primate. Having said that, I was happy to have all of them on the other side of a fence.

My full body photo of this guy didn't come out, but this one is a lot scarier. Ostrich, yes, or ... dinosaur? The time I saw him before this he nibbled on my arm a little.

I have a bad habit of not getting the names of the animals, or even their species. This one, obviously, is not an ostrich. However, I did get its name: Petronus.

Turtle! Alligator photos didn't come out through the window--but I was happy to have that window. My secret to photography is to take lots and lots of pictures, in the hopes one or two will come out.

Emily says I have a way with animals. I don't know, but some of the humans with me noticed a lot of Black Pine's occupants keeping an eye on me. Maybe they were wondering if I taste like chicken.

If you want to pay a visit, or donate--and you should--check them out here:

https://www.bpsanctuary.org/

Black Pine rescues exotic animals who've been neglected or mistreated, then give them a good home for the rest of their lives. Pictures are fine, but there's nothing like seeing these guys with your own eyes.

Of course, you also might want to support ours writing! I believe Mufasa, a former resident of Black Pine, appears in Images of America: Albion and Noble County.

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Without books, we’d all be animals.

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book review: The Pun Also Rises

2026-04-04T21:15:55Z

The branch of humor called punning has roots planted much further back in history than wood normally be guessed. John Pollack peels back the leaves of history to ...

That's enough. It's a book about puns, okay?

John Pollack has the credentials: He was an actual world pun champion, and also a political speechwriter, so he knows silly when he sees it. I'm talking about the political thing--it turns out puns were sometimes taken much more seriously than we take them these days.

Pollack traces puns back to the very formation of language itself, showing us examples from the earliest writing, and how they were used to assist communication, and later as a way to avoid censorship and undermine the status quo. Along the way, wordplay led to fatal duels, academic arguments, and a whole lot of groans and forehead slapping.

https://www.amazon.com/Pun-Also-Rises-Revolutionized-Language/dp/1592406750

Pollack's writing can sometimes be a bit dense, as he tackles entomology--no, wait, etymology. My aunt used to study entomology. Anyway, he dives into history, politics, language, and all the ways puns have been used and misused throughout history. Despite a heavy dose of--wait for it--puns, it's not always a bedtime read, unless you suffer from insomnia.

Of course, if you don't like puns you might want to stay away.

“That’s what they call a sanity clause.” “You can’t fool me, there ain’t no Sanity Claus.”

But for those of us who have even a passing interest in how language has evolved over the centuries and how it affected everything else, it's a fascinating read. Check it out. I mean, if you're in the library--otherwise, buy it.

Take a look at our books; and if you’re a particular fan of wordplay, try The Notorious Ian Grant or Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving at All.

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: To play on words can be painful, especially if you land on an X.

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Grandkids, We Got Grandkids

2026-04-02T03:31:13Z

It's way past time for me to post more pictures of my youngest daughter's kids, of whom there are three, sort of.

The oldest is Lilli, who's big on cheer-leading and giving her grandpa hugs.

Next is Willa, who didn't warm up to me until I showed her pictures I took--of her.

Zander still doesn't know what to think of me. Poor guy--including step-siblings, he's surrounded by girls.

Jill decided to stop at three, what with all the exhaustion and everything. Double that if you add the step-kids, who haven't been around for me to take pictures of.

But, you know ... stuff happens. And this stuff will be happening along in August.

A boy! That should even out the odds for Zander, a little.

If you have a lot of kids, sometimes it’s easier to stay at home with books:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Every book you buy helps Grandpa pay for Christmas presents.

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I'm Back Dispatching, but Still Writing

2026-03-28T19:20:37Z

So, I'm back to work as a dispatcher.

Just part time, mind you. This still might come as a shock to some, because I've said the job was having an impact on my mental and emotional health. You know, that stuff you used to make fun of when you were younger. Well, I used to.

But this is part time, and I think as long as I limit working long shifts I should be okay. I did feel bad for anyone who didn't want me to come back, but not too bad. More importantly, I felt bad about all the fuss that was made over me leaving, and--here I am again! Seriously, the other dispatchers threw me a party and sent me off with a lot of swag.

They get me.

Some people, when they found out I was returning, asked if I was bored.

No.

I've never understood people who go to work just because they can't seem to think of anything else to do. I have hundreds of books to read, and dozens to write, and that by itself is more than enough to keep me busy. Bored? I'll admit, the first month I mostly just slept, but I have trails to hike, podcasts to hear, museums to visit, and I'm nowhere near caught up on Marvel movies and TV. (Do better, DC.) And grandkids!

Bored? What, do you live at the BMV?

I feel like I earned my retirement. And I do get retirement benefits, which--yay! Lots of people can't count on that. Still, my income, even when added to early Social Security, is short of what I was making on the job.

About, I'd estimate, $12,000 a year short.

I'd have to sell 25,000 books to make up that difference. Okay, I don't really know how many--a lot of factors are involved. But last year we sold around 750, and that's way too few zeroes.

(*NOTE* The royalty statement arrived from Arcadia Publishing: They moved 405 copies of Haunted Noble County and 9 copies of Images of America: Albion and Noble County. So the grand total of books sold in 2025: 979. So close to my 1,000 book goal!)

Anyone who follows the publishing business can tell you being an author is getting harder, not easier. Even if I did sell that many books this year, I wouldn't know for sure until the royalty statements started arriving a few months into 2027.

Not that I won't try selling more. But part of the time I planned to spend writing will have to go toward paying the bills, at least until that three book, six figure deal comes in.

And maybe after, but that's another story.

You don’t have to call 911 to find our books:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: If you stay home reading, you might not have to call 911.

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Ladder Truck vs. Courthouse: A Look at Ladder 99

2026-03-25T15:16:58Z

The Albion Fire Department has had a ladder truck for a couple of years (and I took these photos last summer, so I'm way behind), so I thought I'd give you the lowdown on it. These photos were taken when the truck was called to the Noble County Courthouse, to help remove some debris from a gutter--and it made for great training.

(We did have a hook and ladder wagon when we first formed in 1887, but that was because hauling apparatus to the scene by hand meant you had to have your hose, pump, and ladders/tools divided up to make lighter loads.)

We got a great deal on a used truck: A brand new apparatus of this type runs a million dollars or more. AFD Ladder 99 is a quint: In addition to the aerial ladder and associated equipment, it carries a fire pump, a water tank, and a supply of hose.

Some firefighters hate quints, which basically combine a fire engine with a ladder truck. As a result, they say, there's not enough room for the full amount of equipment one of those alone would usually carry. The advantage is that some of the most critical ladder company operations need to be done right away, and how that truck is positioned is critical--in other words, there are advantages to it being first on the scene.

But even if all the seats are filled, how do you accomplish both fire attack and ventilation/rescue operations at the same time? It's a question I'm addressing in a novel-in-progress, and the argument will continue.

Why is it called Ladder 99 if we only have one? Each fire department in Noble County has a different number. Back in the day it was planned to be in alphabetical order, with Albion being Base 10, but we didn't adapt it for many years and so the Kendallville Fire Department took that number. As a result Albion eventually took the last number, so our first out engine is Engine 91, the water tankers are 94 and 95, and so on. It was the same with individual members, which is why I was Fire 914 for many years.

The aerial ladder is 105 feet, which means we can reach the main floors of the courthouse, and a stream of water from the tip of the ladder could easily reach the clock tower. Here's hoping that never becomes necessary. Fire department ladder trucks are often called on to help with such things as hanging town decorations and, oh, keeping the recently renovated courthouse from getting water damage.

I stopped being an active firefighter just before Ladder 99 came along, so I've only climbed up and down an aerial a few times. There's no easy way to do it. But when it's position isn't too steep, it's a little like climbing downhill on a steep bridge. Do they make steep bridges? I hope not.

Outriggers are set on heavy metal plates to stabilize the truck when the aerial is up. You don't want to overturn your truck. You really don't.

Ladders? Oh yeah, we got ladders. Sometimes, due to power lines, trees, setbacks, or other factors, you can't get the aerial where you want it, and that's where the ground ladders come in. A ladder company isn't just a truck: It's the truck, the equipment it carries, and the trained manpower onboard that work together to accomplish the job. If a truck shows up with empty compartments and no passengers, it's ... a truck.

Quints are becoming more common around the area. Remember that if you see them at a scene where the aerial ladder isn't raised, that doesn't mean the rest of the equipment isn't in use.

You can find out all about that original hook and ladder, and the first century of the AFD's history, in Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights: a Century Or So With the Albion Fire Department.

You can find our books burning up the internet in various places:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Reading about fires is way more comfortable than experiencing them.

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Breaking Wind With Twisted Twisters

2026-03-20T11:42:56Z

Some say the best advice when it comes to tornadoes is to keep your insurance paid up and update your will.

My advice is just as simple: At the beginning of March, dig a big hole in your back yard, then get into it wearing a helmet and one of those "Red man" protective suits a police dog can't penetrate. Then have the hole lined in concrete and covered with an armored steel plate. The order of this is very important: Get in the hole before you have it sealed off with concrete and steel. You might want to bring in some water, snacks, a portable toilet, maybe a book to read, and, of course, a bottle of oxygen.

(I would suggest you take along my novel Storm Chaser. 'Cause--theme.)

Take a dog along for company and padding. If he looks worried, you should, too.

Now wait until, say, November. Then, since winter will be approaching, but hurricane season is past, move to the Gulf Coast. Because tornado season down there is pretty much year round, you'll have to dig another hole and buy more concrete and steel. Vicious cycle.

Okay, a quick review of weather terms. A severe thunderstorm watch means you might get severe thunderstorms. A severe thunderstorm warning means the light show has already started. I don't really get what's hard about that, but it still confuses people.

Similarly, a tornado watch means conditions are right for a tornado to form, and you should, you know, watch. In the novel The Wizard of Oz that's literal, as Uncle Henry goes outside, watches, then announces, "There's a cyclone coming, Em ... I'll go look after the stock". At that point, it became a warning.

How he plans to protect the stock is unclear, but if there's one thing the movie Twister taught us, it's that you have to watch for low flying cows. Meanwhile, in the time it takes for Toto to hide under the bed and thus endanger Dorothy (man's best friend--hah), the cyclone is upon them and the next thing you know ... witch pancake.

Before you think you're safe from tornadoes, remember what one did to this chick.

If Henry only had a radio, TV, internet, alert scanner, or nearby siren, he might have had enough warning to look after the stock and make sure Em and Dorothy got the the cellar. The witch would still get smooshed, so--happy ending for all. Except for the Scarecrow on his pole and the rusted Tin Woodsman and the Winkies being terrorized by the other witch ... okay, bad example.

But hey, it was 1900. You don't have to literally watch anymore. You don't want to be under a cow when it drops in. Or a house.

A tornado warning means a tornado or funnel cloud has been spotted in your area. Over the years I've managed to take a few pictures of funnel clouds, which puts me in the camp of people who are too dumb to metaphorically (and sometimes literally) come in out of the rain. There are now millions of photos and videos of tornadoes; is it worth having one of your own? It is not.

Remember this easy rhyme: Red Sky In the Morning: You're Screwed.

What should you do if a tornado warning is declared? Go to a windowless interior room on the lowest level of your house. If you're in a building with no basement--what were you thinking? But lower is always better.

Windows are bad. Tornadoes, hurricanes, meteor strikes--it's amazing how many people get cut up by glass during natural disasters. (I'm not kidding about the meteor strikes: just ask the people in Chelyabinsk, Russia.)

Old timers used to crack a window to equalize pressure, or go to a specific corner of a room, but that's proven to be unhelpful. Besides, the tornado will take care of cracking all the windows. You're better off under a piece of sturdy furniture--Toto had the right idea--that you can hold onto. A small center room, such as a closet, or under a stairwell is good, and a bathtub might offer some protection.

Well, that can't be good.

So, let's review: Your safest location is in a bathtub that's in a closet under a stairwell in your basement. My bathroom is the size of a closet, so that's a start.

Actually, your safest location would be in the states of Alaska, Rhode Island, or Vermont, which each average less than one tornado a year. But this is the Midwest, under the tourism-attracting nickname of "Tornado Alley". Indiana ranks #14 in states for the number of tornadoes. If adjusted for square miles, our rank might be higher.

Okay, I just checked. In tornadoes per 10,000 square miles, Indiana ranks three. When it comes to killer tornadoes we're eight, and when it comes to the total length of a tornado path we're also eight. So there you go. Be afraid. It's only smart. And train your dog to go straight to the storm cellar.

Now, since tornado safety is really a serious subject, here are a couple of links to websites that treat things that way:

http://www.tornadoproject.com/safety/safety.htm

http://www.redcross.org/get-help/how-to-prepare-for-emergencies/types-of-emergencies/tornado#Before

You can find our books blowing around in various places:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Even in bad weather, you can read as long as your flashlight battery holds up.

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Chain O' Lakes in Winter

2026-03-18T23:29:53Z

I take a lot of pictures--something that happens to already photo happy people who get access to a digital camera (or phone) and lots of storage. So, since some unidentified experts say we writer types should post twice a week, I thought it would be easy to do a photo post around mid-week.

I didn't take into account the fact that I'm of the generation with zero experience in transferring photos from, say, a camera to a laptop. It's not at all uncommon for writers to be clueless about things not writing related, but it's not like we want to admit it. So, I started with some photos I took when Emily and I walked along Sand Lake at Chain O' Lakes State Park.

It was, oh, about four thaw/freeze cycles ago. The temperature got above 60, which I know because neither of us go outside voluntarily if it's below that. Was it windy? Well, if you haven't been paying attention, we haven't had a day so far this year when it wasn't windy.

With that and a blue sky, the lake ice was getting a little, well ... weird. Strange holes and cracks were showing up everywhere, and in some places water was running in streams across the tops of the ice.

A branch was on the ice, close enough to a crack that I wondered if they weren't connected. Maybe some kids had thrown the branch out there, and also made the hole not far away. What's more fun than throwing stuff into a lake? Or maybe it was Mother Nature, who's been very moody this winter.

In any case, it was an attractive target for good photographers, and also for me.

It's nice getting out to a state park during the off season, when you can generally get some alone time and appreciate the beauty. And yes, despite what I say, there is a beauty to winter. Just the same, it's always nice to see a lot of people in warm weather. Not long now--I hope.

There’s bound to be more cold—and hot—weather coming up, so check out our books:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Buying books puts Spring in an author’s steps.

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Book Sales Numbers for 2025 ... Well, Some Sales Numbers

2026-03-14T12:25:37Z

One of the strange things about the writing business is that it can be very difficult for an author to find out how well he's actually doing. How many sales did I make in 2025? I dunno. Somewhere between 500 and 10,000, but you can guess which extreme is closer.

For instance, I can tell you Emily and I sold 172 copies of Haunted Noble County, Indiana through direct sales last year. That includes author appearances, website orders, and copies sold by Butterfly Alley Books here in Albion, among other things.

Look! An author!

But that book is traditionally published. Arcadia Publishing not only has it on their website, they got it up on bookseller websites all over the place, and also attempted to get print copies sold in various local businesses and other places. When they did that with Images of America: Albion and Noble County, it appeared on the shelves at a Fort Wayne Barnes & Noble, and I encountered it on a rack at a local Walgreens. So, how many places carried print copies of Haunted Noble County?

No idea.

And How many copies of that book were sold through the publisher and all those websites?

No clue.

That's because publishers only send royalty statements every quarter or (in the case of this one) every six months. Images of America: Albion and Noble County sold 292 copies through Arcadia Publishing the first year it came out, 2015 (in August). I didn't find that out until March 29, 2016.

This will come as a shock to you, but the publishing industry in general is notorious for not keeping authors in the loop.

So when I tell you how many books we sold in 2025, it's a best estimate, which is 565.

That is, 565 copies of all 12 of our titles. Industry pundits will tell you the average number of sales for a new book are around 200 in the first year, and fewer than 1,000 in their lifetime. Is that true? I dunno. If it is, the Images of America book did pretty good. If Haunted Noble County sold about the same then we have reason to be proud, because 292 plus the 172 we know we sold is, let's see .... 464, twice that possibly true average.

But I can't count that higher number, yet. So I'm going with 565, which compares with 539 in 2022, 624 in 2023, and 492 in 2024 (a year in which we didn't release any new books). That's 2,215 copies sold in four years, not counting the Arcadia Publishing numbers. The breakdown for 2025:

172 Haunted Noble County, Indiana

113 Storm Chaser

110 Hoosier Hysterical

107 Coming Attractions

20 The Notorious Ian Grant

15 Storm Squalls

11 The No-Campfire Girls

6 Slightly Off the Mark

6 Images of America: Albion and Noble County

3 Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights

2 More Slightly Off the Mark

0 Radio Red (*sob*! But this is the one we're working on re-releasing.)

My goal this year is the same as last year: to sell a thousand books. Wish me better luck this time around.

Be counted! Find our books here:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Happy writers make for happy books.

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Tag! I'm It: 10 Random Facts About Me

2026-03-08T14:59:09Z

I was tagged over on ... wait, where was it? The Book of Faces? The Stack of Subs? Well, somewhere, a lovely person named Author on Wheels tagged me to present 10 random facts about me, not related to writing.

I don't think Author on Wheels is their real name, but these days who knows?

Also, although it takes away some of the fun, I won't tag 10 other authors to do the same. I always thought it made people feel like they have to do something, and there are enough things we have to do in the main periods of our lives: childhood and adulthood.

Of course, for a lot of years now I've been telling people everything about me in my columns/blogs, so the real question is, can I surprise you with something interesting? Probably not.

10 random facts about me, not related to writing:

1) Everyone knows I was a volunteer firefighter, but the first time I crawled into a burning building, at age 18, the extent of my protective gear was a pair of pull-up thigh-length rubber boots. Other than that, it was jeans and a windbreaker. We don't do that anymore.

We were smoke eaters ... and young.

2) After graduating high school I moved seven times in seven years, without ever leaving town limits ... and now I've been in the same house for 36 years.

3) I only spent the night in a hospital once, with mono when I was fourteen. Now you have an idea of how extreme my dumb luck is.

4) As a youth I suffered from severe shyness (no, not the same as being an introvert, although there's that, too). But I got it in my head that I wanted to be an actor, and forced myself in high school to join drama club and choir, and take a speech class. To this day, I don't know where I got the courage.

5) I have a comical inability to do any kind of physical handiwork or maintenance whatsoever without completely screwing it up. It's why I prefer my tools to be electric: Small engines and I are not friends.

Now, destroying things isn't a problem.

6) When they were first married my parents had no money, so on the day the previous month's comic books were priced down they'd buy a stack, and read them over the weekend. This (and the Oz books they bought) is how I became an avid reader.

7) For my entire life I've had absolutely no interest in dressing to look good; as long as I'm warm, I'm fine. Emily has turned me around a little, though.

8.) Despite being allergic to cats, there's been at least one in my home most of my life. When I was a kid I thought everyone walked around with a stuffy nose.

You think shooting pool while sneezing is easy? It is not.

9.) The first time I ever got my picture in the paper was when I was very little and the first customer at a new store (My parents bought me a U.S. map puzzle). The article said I won a large stuffed animal, but I never received it.

10) I can raise or lower my own pulse rate. Sometimes I used that to mess with EMT students.

There are probably odder facts about me I haven't even thought of, but I can't think of them.

I’ve never blown up something while writing (well, except for that one laptop), so keep me out of trouble and buy our books here:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Reading is a low-risk activity.

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Yet Again, Coming Attractions is Free on Smashwords

2026-03-04T06:22:42Z

Sometimes I get the feeling Smashwords wants Coming Attractions to always be free. This time, as they put it, it's the:

17th annual
Smashwords Read an Ebook Week
Super Sale, running March 1-7!

Only I'm not saying it so loudly. They seem to be making money, and honestly I don't get many sales of Coming Attractions there anyway, so why not free?

You can find the promo here: https://www.smashwords.com/shelves/promos starting--let me check--um, two days ago. This is a great chance to get the books of other authors, free or at a promotional discount. I only have one novel on Smashwords, along with two anthologies with my short stories in them, but those e-books will be free.

If you want to go directly to my account (who wouldn't?), it's at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914.

Treat yourself! And if you feel guilty treating yourself for free, you can find our other books all over:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: A free book rarely costs any money at all.

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Flaming Snowblower Update

2026-03-01T20:55:31Z

So, we found out why our snowblower caught fire, and I think you'll find it ironic.

First of all, I was the only one who ever operated the snowblower. It's important to know that Emily shares none of the blame. It's also important to know that I did not attempt to fix it, so the self-repair restraining order was not violated. Emily, on the other hand, downloaded the user manual (thus bypassing my confused filing system), brought out the variable speed drill I bought for her birthday (I still have a scar), and dug right in.

As with our vacuum cleaner, the snowblower's belt can be reached through a panel. (My belt can be reached beneath the result of way too many cans of Mountain Dew.) I was actually able to put a new belt on the vacuum cleaner once, and it only took me three days. I figured in this case it had to be either the belt or the motor. When I realized the belt was on the opposite side of where most of the smoke came out, I got a bad feeling.

But we immediately saw the problem. Snow had gotten into the belt/pulley area, then melted a little, then froze solid, and the entire space was now packed with ice. We had to dig it out, then let the thing finish melting and dry off for a day.

It got a lot of snow on it when I used it, but in it?

In case any of you are as slow as I was: Our snowblower was killed BY SNOW.

But the belt was just fine. So after double checking it, we closed the panel back up, I plugged it in (outside), and pushed the button. It ran for three seconds and died, then smoke started coming out.

Two days later I hurt my back while using a snow shovel.

So I wrote this--again, perhaps ironically--with ice on my back, but my neighbor promised he'd take care of the snow removal. He has a normal sized, gas engine powered snowblower, but it still doesn't sit right by me. I want to do stuff myself! But sometimes, I suppose, I have to admit I can't anymore.

Which doesn't mean I'm not in the market for a new snowblower. Also, as of November the lawn mower is working just fine.

At least, it was.

Support my snowblower replacement fund! Find our books here:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Every book you buy relieves my back pain.

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Working Through Retirement Laziness

2026-02-22T01:10:46Z

A lot of people asked what I planned to do after retirement.

Work, of course.

I'm taking early social security, and I also have a nice retirement benefit after 35 years, but between the two I'll still be making far less than I did on the job. That's okay, because I've always planned to work until I drop--I just wanted to do the work that, well, I wanted to do.

And so, there's the writing thing. But that doesn't mean I don't want to have some fun ... or take it easy, and the two aren't always the same thing.

I tried an air show at Pokagon State Park, but everyone wanted to get high.

Have you seen all those ads about retired people doing amazing things? Diving into pools, hiking the Appalachian Trail, taking the grandkids to Disneyland, being a roadie for The Rolling Stones ...

I've noticed a lot of those ads are from drug companies that medicate you into being able to do those amazing things. "Don't forget the side effects for Neweryu, the little chartreuse pill: forgetfulness, suicidal thoughts, spontaneous limb separation, anal leakage ... and don't take if you're allergic to Neweryu, or its ingredients that we haven't told you about. Neweryu, for a newer you!"

I'd be satisfied to be able to get out of bed without alerting the neighbors. "Hear that cracking, popping, groaning sound next door? Mark got up to mow his lawn."

As we drove through central Indiana a retirement activity hit me: I could restore tanks!

It used to take two hours to mow my lawn. Now it takes two days and five bottles of Gatorade.

What do the doctors say? "Eat right and exercise, get some fresh air!"

Fresh air? When Emily and I go to the park we don't use sunblock; we smear Icy Hot over ourselves. And not in a sexy way.

Actually, we use Biofreeze, which we get from our chiropractor. I'll have to stock up, because in a few years I'll be on Medicare, and I'm told they don't cover routine chiropractic treatment. Worse case scenario, if the pain gets too bad, somewhere back in the pantry there's a half bottle of rum from New Years Eve, 2011.

But let's go back to the doctors, who want me to exercise to cure the fact that I can't exercise. "Just walk a little way, to start." Well, what do you think I've been doing? The kitchen's a little way. On a related note, as for eating right--to heck with that. I'm going for steaks and chocolate. I don't know how many meals I have left; why pollute them with spinach and lettuce?

It's a great historic bridge, but ... where are the benches?

So yeah, I'm leaning toward taking it easy, more than gallivanting. Do people still gallivant? Probably not, but I have no desire to take polka lessons, or play pickleball. Pickleball is just anther sport to make me look foolish as my paddle/racket/stick thing swishes through the air for a clean miss.

But it could be worse. I'm trading two jobs in which I sat in a chair at a keyboard for one job in which I sit in a chair and keyboard, and that one is way less stressful. Less stress helps a lot. So if you see someone on the Appalachian Trail who looks like me ...

It's not me.

Support my retirement! Find our books here:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Every time an author retires, a typewriter gets it wings.

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Pet Sitting, and Dogs in General

2026-02-18T23:37:12Z

I'm going to try to blog twice a week from now on: Some social media gurus think that's the optimum amount to stay visible without drowning in a sea of internet. I'm thinking a shorter blog midweek, maybe something about history, what with the 250th anniversary of the USA coming up.

Or pet pictures.

This is Indiana Jones, who goes by Indy for calling time reasons. He's my oldest daughter's dog--we pet-sat for him while she was out of town for a few days. He's a bit of a face licker, and Heaven help you if he gets through the door without a leash, but he's also very cuddly. Also, as we all know, happiness is a warm puppy, especially in winter. (He's not 2 yet, so close enough to puppy.) Unlike our beloved dog Beowulf, he's happy to be a foot (or side) warmer in bed all night.

Beowulf had a job and he knew it: Protect his humans, and guard his home. He rarely stayed in one place for longer than half an hour before he set off on patrol. Indy is way more laid back, although he'll let you know if he hears someone coming.

If I look a little rough in this photo, I was going through some back pain issues at the time. I doubt Indy would have let me put him on the couch and press my lower back against him for heat, but this time of year you can always find ice.

I looked a little better last time we took care of him.

Indy's very lovable, but generally Emily and I prefer larger dogs. Beowulf was big, and he could look a lot bigger when you didn't notice him coming. The dog I wrote into We Love Trouble is based on Beowulf, but is all black, much bigger, and has, shall we say, an unusual brain. (You haven't missed it--that novel is still in the submission process.)

We Love Trouble is a humorous murder mystery with ghosts in it--but the ghosts aren't directly involved in the murder. We'll see if that idea gets any bites.

Our books aren’t as cuddly as a warm puppy, but they’re just as entertaining and don’t have to go out to potty.

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Authors with pets depend on book sales for food. And bones.

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On Valentine's Day, Be Meme

2026-02-14T20:21:15Z

I was going to write a loving Valentine's Day salute to my wife, otherwise known as sucking up. But I hurt my back (it's that or sickness every freaking holiday and anniversary), and the med I'm on has me hearing green, counting room spins, and rhyming "heart" with "barf". Instead, I ~~stole~~ chose some holiday related images.

When I started looking for fun images, the first thing I noticed is that there are a LOT of single people out there who are just a bit, shall we say, bitter.

I've been there, back in the olden days. Still, some are trying.

They're not necessarily doing well, but they're trying.

For we people who are taken, there's still a challenge. Well, not for the women so much, but for the men.

Been there, too. In fact, been there on Valentine's Day morning, every one of the last ten years.

My wife and I spend a lot of time together--she's doing work related to my writing career, while I selfishly just write, so you could say we're coworkers.

But that's cool, because we're both the boss, when that's okay with her.

And the strangest part is that after almost eight years of marriage we still get along, even when I annoy her, which is usually.

Cute. By the way, I'm much older than her, so that image isn't accurate. I looked for one, and let me give you a piece of advice: Don't Google "Older Man With Younger Women" unless you're sure of your safe search settings.

I love Emily lots. I even say it a lot, because I try not to take her for granted, even though I still sometimes do. I told her the other day that in addition to having her, I wouldn't have a writing career if she hadn't come along and started pushing me. I wouldn't have gone outside my comfort zone on some great vacations. I wouldn't have had the dog, who was our furry child.

I also wouldn't have to worry about Valentine's Day. But hey ... you make sacrifices for love.

As always, books make great gifts, and you can find ours in various places:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Sales, reviews, and other encouragement are love letters to authors.

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Olympic Sized Thoughts

2026-02-07T19:51:35Z

(These aren't really Olympic sized thoughts--just small thoughts on the Olympics which, possibly, I wrote eight years ago. The thoughts, not the Olympics.)

Okay, let's not take it TOO seriously.

Probably the only downhill sport I'd have a chance of making it through would be sledding, otherwise known as luge or skeleton. That's because I'm incapable of standing on any moving object other than my own feet, and sometimes the feet part isn't easy.

But while I used to sled a lot, that was at, oh, ten miles per hour or so. Anyone who goes face first at seventy miles per hour ... well, there's a reason why it's called skeleton. Because "mangled body" seemed a little too obvious.

There is another kind of sledding in the Olympics, but apparently competitors are required to be named "Bob". There's only so much I'll do for my sport.

Speaking of sports in which I'd never made it to the end of the course, I've noticed that downhill skiers seem to be flying as much as they're skiing. Let's make it more interesting and fit them with small wings, just to see what happens.

I don't know this guy, but I'm very happy for his survival.

There's a skiing event that consists entirely of skiing down bumps. I can't stand to watch it: It kills my knees.

"Salchow" is pronounced "sow cow" ... and as such, just doesn't seem like a figure skating move.

That group snowboarding competition ... did some Olympic official happen to catch a NASCAR race and think, "That's what the winter Games needs: massive pileups!"

Figure skating has been a favorite of mine since I was a kid. But I'll be the first to admit that back then I was all about the ladies and the short skirts. Now that I'm older I'm still fascinated, because how the heck do they even--? I mean, try just standing on ice skates. Their routines are, according to the laws of physics, as impossible as me making it to the other end of the rink.

I never tried pairs figure skating because I don't like getting stitches.

It's a magic trick--try to disconnect the rings! Nice try.

I just watched a pair figure skate to music from Star Wars, and it made me realize Jedi would be fantastic athletes. Luke skiing, Anakin throwing Padme through about fifty spins on the ice, Vader as a bad boy snowboarder ... Yoda as a coach. Emperor Palpatine ruling the evil land just to the north (When I wrote this, the Olympics were in South Korea). R2D2 as a judge. I've just created a whole new subgenre of fanfiction.

Curling. It's indecipherable, and a joy to make fun of. Unless you seriously watch it for about an hour, then it becomes addictive. What dark magic is that? It's shuffleboard on ice. And I'm watching it.

Every time I watch ski jumping, all I can think of it the Wide World Of Sport's "agony of defeat". This removes much of the fun for me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2AZH4FeGsc

In the end I'm not a sport fan so much as an events fan: Every two years I watch sports that I don't even think about the rest of the time. It's the same reason why I like to watch the Indy 500 even though I have no interest in racing, and I used to watch the Superbowl even though I haven't seen a non-Superbowl football game in twenty years. I've even caught a World Series game, or two.

But not basketball. Basketball is the rap of sports.

Decatha--what?

If you’re the only one in your family who’s not a sports fan, there are always books:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Don’t try this at home, even if you live right by a hospital.

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My Farewell Letter to Dispatch

2026-02-02T21:08:12Z

I doubt many people take a job with the plan of staying on until retirement. I didn't; I was going to be a firefighter who wrote books on his off days. But about 34 years ago I went to work at the Noble County Jail, and a few years later moved to dispatch, and I've been there ever since. We're now in a different building, calling ourselves Noble County Communications, but at its heart the job remains the same.

Nobody does anything for 34 years, anymore. Is it any wonder that, despite how burned out I became toward the end, I'm still leaving with mixed feelings?

As time went on I saw a lot of other people come and go. I became unhappy there--partially because I wasn't writing books, partially because it can tear your heart out. But I'm going to miss the people. Not the ones on the other end of the phone line, necessarily, but the ones I worked with.

When you spend a third of your life with the same people, they become a family. Of course, sometimes families get dysfunctional! But we are a family, and I'll miss them. Maybe I'll come and just hang out in dispatch. Probably not; at least, not until I get myself off the stress, depression, and blood pressure medications.

I won't miss some of the technology, most of which didn't exist when I started. We had one computer, with a little green screen (remember DOS?) that we used to run license plates and driver's licenses. Paging a fire department or ambulances involved pushing actual buttons. Every new call to be dispatched was written out on a half-sized sheet of paper called a green sheet, which was--green. Traffic stops didn't get written down at all.

At the end I was sitting at a console with seven monitors, one main keyboard, and three mice. On an average night we have 8-9 browser tabs up (texting, recorder, EMS map, and so on), the phone board, the radio board with its 27 channels on five tabs, and, of course, the Computer Aided Dispatch program.

The CAD program was by (Redacted Company Name). I hate (RCN). We've never had an easy to use CAD, but (RCN) was deliberately made to be as non-intuitive as possible. I'm convinced of that. I was always running into trouble by trying to do things in a way that made sense. There are always five more steps than should be necessary. At first I thought this was all stuff (RCN) was working on fixing, but I came to realize their programmers are actually having fun. Maybe playing a drinking game: "Take a shot whenever anyone curses at the system!" Bunch of alcoholics.

Anyway, for every bad time it seems like there was a good, all because of dark humor and mutual support. We, the often overwhelmed dispatchers, should always remember that we do a lot of good. We save lives, and send help, and that ain't too shabby. Thank you for everyone who's put in the effort over the years.

We really need to seek out more mental health care, though.

My current shift partners

Of course, this means I now write full time, so look us up here:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

· Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

· Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

· Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

· Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

· Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

· Audible: https://www.audible.com/search?searchAuthor=Mark+R.+Hunter&ref_pageloadid=4C1TS2KZGoOjloaJ&pf

Remember: Reading is always preferable to calling 911 unless, of course, there’s an actual emergency.

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So, I Set Fire to My Snowblower

2026-01-30T14:11:07Z

If you've followed me long enough, you've probably heard of the Infamous Exploding Lawn Mower Incident.

But probably not--it happened a very long time ago, when my main social media was LiveJournal. Maybe I'll track it down and reprint it one day. It was quite the tale: mushroom clouds, HazMat response, involvement with both the ATF and the Federal Aviation Administration, a Time Magazine article entitled "Will Flying Lawn Mower Blades Cause Global Cooling?" To this day, it's believed an engine bolt is orbiting Earth.

Really, the only way I could top that would be to set fire to a snowblower.

It couldn't be as bad as the mower. First of all, the snowblower was electric, and didn't have much power to begin with. That might be what killed it: Overwork. this is the first time I ever tried to run it through three foot snow drifts, and I suspect it was designed more for Texans who use them once every five years for a two inch catastrophe.

Besides, it was four degrees, and still snowing. A shovel full from a foot away, and any small appliance fire is out. I've responded to grass fires where I just stepped out of the fire engine and stomped the flames out with my boot--it was like that. Embarrassing. A wafting wisp of smoke, to be poetic.

Which doesn't mean the incident won't get bigger and bigger, every time I describe it. By the turn of the decade it will involve a blizzard, the National Guard, and the Space Force zapping parts out of orbit.

What happened? Well, the snowblower acted a lot like my back: It complained mildly, then it screamed in agony, then it stopped working. I put ice on both of them.

I suspect it burned out a belt thingy, as happened last year with our vacuum cleaner. (The snowblower, not my back.) There was smoke then, too. In that case I replaced the broken belt, and it still wouldn't work right. Now we have a new vacuum cleaner that I'm afraid to use.

Will I try to fix the snowblower? Probably not. We got it on clearance, it's four years old, and every light in the house dimmed whenever I plugged it in. I probably should consider myself lucky for not being electrocuted the first time, let alone trying to replace a belt thingy. Besides, I'm only assuming there is a belt thingy.

Now I can only hope there's not another snowstorm this winter, and we all know how my hopes go. Since I'm retiring from dispatch, I figured out how many books we needed to sell to replace the blower, and it comes out to 347, depending on the book. I can do that in a year, but by then we'll probably have to replace the stove.

The good news is that the neighbors on either side of me have real snowblowers, the gas powered kind. They've always been nice to me, at least since the restraining order prevented me from singing outside.

I should consider myself fortunate the DHS didn't set up a tent in our yard again--it killed all the grass, last time.

Maybe that was for the best.

There's always the traditional method.

None of our books have ever been reported as catching fire:

· Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

· Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

· Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

· Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

· Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

· Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/